


Silhouette

by Reda



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Background Relationships, Collars, Dark, Dealing With Trauma, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluffy Smut, Heavy Angst, Identity Issues, Kakarot - Freeform, Light BDSM, Minor Android 18/Krillin (Dragon Ball), Minor Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Minor Goten/Marron, Minor Videl Satan/Son Gohan, Psychology, Temporary Character Death, because dragon balls, kakarot/chi-chi - Freeform, kinky smut, some facts some made up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 74,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27028246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reda/pseuds/Reda
Summary: Identity is one of the most important facets of humanity. So what happens when who you thought you were turns out to be nothing more than a lie hidden for all these years? Goku is about to find out. [D.I.D. Goku - aka: split personality / multiple personality disorder]
Relationships: Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 266
Kudos: 161





	1. Accident

**Author's Note:**

> -This is going to be long. Are you in for a ride? There are some things we need to go over real quick before you dig into it, though:  
> -This is probably going to be my darkest fic for DragonBall. It's not light-hearted. It's scary. It's kinky (a little, at times). It's sad. It's bittersweet. It completely fucks over Goku's character because of what happens. This is also really, really rough on Chi-Chi. It hurts. A lot. Still here? Do you trust me?  
> -This is split into 3 parts. I have worked out the 1st part to be 20 chapters. Then there's a time skip and I don't know beyond that. I'm still working on the exact details of when and how everything falls into place. But I figured I was holding this part back from readers for long enough.  
> -I HAVE done research into D.I.D. but I am not an expert by any means and some things I decided to play up or mess with for the sake of the story. Don't rely on me for accuracy in this field, just know I've tried.  
> -When I use "Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings" I'm trying to prepare readers for dubious moments that might occur later. None of the main tags actually fit, but I want you to take this dark fic seriously. That being said, most of what I do is merely mentions of rough moments and I will do my best to warn before each chapter if something serious is going to happen.  
> -Please tell me if something triggers you so I can put a warning. I do not intend to upset anyone but I cannot know what triggers every individual and each person's experience is so different that some things seem like nothing to me but may be a big deal to others.  
> -Other than that, no I don't want criticism. I write for fun and I share in case anyone else wants to enjoy what I enjoy. I'm not using fanfic as an exercise to better my writing and I don't want your opinions if something bugs you. Not anymore. I used to have a different opinion when it came to things like this, but since I've been getting beta readers for my original fics, I want fanfic to be a fun exercise and not to feel like a job. So there you have it.

Silhouette 

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 1 - Accident

~!~

_ Saiyans are a warrior race. We were raised, programmed to kill from the moment we were born. _

“ _ Wake up, Kakarot.” _

_ Judged by power level, sent out as babies to destroy planets, heralded as being one of the best races in the business. _

“ _ Wake up, Kakarot. Destroy all life forms.” _

_ If not for an accident as a baby, my story would have been very different. We never really thought about it, though. What harm could a 'what if' cause us? _

“ _ Wake up, Kakarot. Destroy...” _

~!~

Training under Whis with Vegeta excited Goku beyond belief. He had so many things to learn and he couldn't get enough. Not to mention, sparring so often with Vegeta gave him a rush all on its own. If they had trained like this years ago, Goku could only imagine what his power would be by now. Vegeta had been so stubborn about not doing such things together, and Chi-Chi had demanded Goku help work the farm, but  _ right now _ he enjoyed the experience of his dreams. 

Rushing, dodging, blocking, attacking…

_ Take a breath, then instant transmission to catch Vegeta off guard. Swing. Miss. Freak out when the attack is noticed too late. Barely move away in time as Vegeta continues to come at him.  _

It felt like a never-ending bout. They flew through the planet of the God of Destruction, each connected blow causing the world to shake. Lost in the battle, lost in the moment. 

_ Grins, smirks, eyes lighting up. _

Even if he wasn't a Saiyan and this wasn't in his blood, Goku was sure he'd enjoy this kind of sparring match. Fighting was his life. 

Ever since he could talk, he'd been swinging and fighting. Ever since he learned martial arts, he'd been pushing to overcome his own limits. This was just another step on that path, that never-ending journey. 

_ Fly backwards to try for a better position, racing around the sky above the lake. Grit his teeth as the wind pressure fights him, as he glares at Vegeta who is coming up close. Spring higher into the sky.  _

Out of the corner of his eye, Goku noticed a certain cat like God of Destruction ambling along the ground. Hm. Beerus was awake. No wonder Whis had called off the immediate training and left the two Saiyans to their own sparring. 

_ Pain in his jaw as a fist connects with his face. He spins away and rubs his cheek. Instant transmission around Vegeta. Clock the other Saiyan in the back of the head. Earn a curse and a swing kick for his efforts. Dodge. Blink. Instant transmission again.  _

"Kakarot," Vegeta scowled. "You piece of shit."

_ Smirk. Instant transmission again. And again. And again. Bouncing around to different places around Vegeta's ki signature. Piss him off. Then rush away. Gather energy. _

"Ka...me….ha...me…." 

"You-!" Vegeta growled, then pulled back to gather his own energy. 

"Ha!"

_ Energy explodes into being. Blue lights rush through the planet toward Vegeta. Blue and white colors in his vision. It collides with another beam. He pushes for control. More force. Screams as he adds more.  _

The transformation lit the sky yellow, then blue, as Goku exploded first through the Super Saiyan feelings, then to the explosion of god ki. Below, he noticed Beerus grumbling something to Whis. A yawn. Whis caught his gaze. 

Oh, shit, he'd broken the rule and Whis was pissed. Or as pissed as the neutral watcher could be. Vegeta, though, Vegeta was angry for sure. The rule said no transformations. Work on your attacks in base form only and all that. 

With a sheepish smile, Goku pulled away from the blast and let it go off into the middle of nowhere on this planet. Not paying attention to Vegeta, he dropped his transformation and landed on the ground in front of Whis and Beerus. 

"Sorry," he said with a grin. "Guess I got a little carried away."

"Indeed you did," Whis said. "But I suppose that means you've learned nothing. Still letting your instincts run wild, I see."

Goku shrugged. "Harder to break habits than you'd think."

"Idiot," Vegeta growled as he came up behind Goku and smacked him on the head. "If you hadn't pulled that shit, I would've had you, Kakarot!"

Rubbing his head, Goku barked a laugh. "Yeah, right. I just got excited, that's all."

"Hmph."

Before more could be said, Beerus stepped up and yawned, swaying from side to side. The God of Destruction rubbed at his eyes, then glared at both of the Saiyans. Goku tried a smile. Fighting Beerus could be fun in its own right, but now wasn't the time. 

"You two," Beerus scowled. "Had better not destroy anything on my planet."

Whis chuckled. "As if you don't do anything on your own, my lord."

"That's different, Whis," Beerus said, whirling on his companion. "It's my place so why would I not cause destruction at my leisure? These two are just here for training and their destruction is simply caused by carelessness. I'd rather they not, especially when I'm trying to nap."

Hands on his hips, Goku grinned at the God of Destruction, all while Vegeta scoffed behind him. He enjoyed the relationship he had built with these two, all in the name of saving Earth and managing  _ that  _ much by the skin of his teeth. Now that they'd fallen in for all the wonderful food on Earth, Goku felt there was no reason to worry about them destroying the planet he called home. 

So of course he relaxed around them. Turning around to face Vegeta, he chuckled. The tightly wound Prince of all Saiyans thought of the relationship differently. He'd known who Beerus was and been intimidated, only now finally simmering down enough to feel comfortable up here. All for the sake of training and passing  _ him _ in strength. 

Like that would ever happen. Goku wouldn't give Vegeta the chance to catch up. And he was so lucky cause Chi-Chi understood where his passion landed him, only griping if he was gone for  _ too _ long. 

"Why are they still here anyway?" Beerus asked, now behind Goku. "Did they bring more delectable dishes?"

"Oh yes," Whis responded. "This time a nice plate of tasty desserts."

Goku grinned at the words, already feeling pride in his chest. The food had come from more than Bulma this time. Chi-Chi had sent him here with a plate of her own tasty treats. Of course, it wouldn't be likely for Beerus and Whis to share, but it was still nice to imagine how much they would enjoy his wife's dishes. Nothing in the universe, or multiverse, or anything, ever, could beat Chi-Chi's cooking.

"Kakarot!"

At Vegeta's explanation, Goku frowned at the other Saiyan. What was  _ he _ freaking out over? And why jump to stand way over there? The words sat on the tip of his tongue. 

They sat there and never left. A crack of pain slammed into the back of his head. Harder than anything he'd ever felt before, at some place that was already sensitive, like the same area where he was knocked on his head as a child. Maybe. It actually brought him back to thinking of that old twinge, that scar… 

Not to mention it  _ hurt _ . And he was flying through the air. And then in the water of the nearby lake. And then. And then…losing…focus…

~!~

_ What? Where am I? What's going on? Why does my head hurt? Why do I feel so...am I drowning?! Wait! These memories… _

_ … _

_ Oh. I see. Some motherfucker stole my life. They're going to pay for this. _

~!~

“ Oh my, Beerus, seems you managed a hit on the Super Saiyan God.”

Beerus' eyes narrowed as he joined Whis in watching the tailless, light-hearted Saiyan get flung across the ground into the large lake of the planet. Whis pursed his lips. Judging by the strength of the blow, Goku would be hitting the bottom of the lake with considerable force. It would be interesting to see if the Saiyan managed to bounce back in time to not drown. Well, he had three minutes to spare. If he did drown, Whis could still rewind time to fix the problem.

“ Serves him right,” Beerus muttered beside him. “You did tell him about not being too relaxed, didn't you?”

“ Yes, but somehow I doubt this will help him learn better,” Whis sighed. “He seems pretty determined to remain the way he is only stronger.”

While waiting to see if Goku would surface, Whis cast a curious eye over to Vegeta. The Saiyan Prince was standing in pretty much his same position as earlier, though he, too, was turned slightly to face the lake where his rival had disappeared. The prince may not have been the greatest at showing concern, but he did have the decency to at least frown at how long it was taking Goku to surface. His posture indicated a slight semblance of worry. After all, Vegeta had admitted several times that if not for Goku pushing ahead all the time he wouldn't have gained or unlocked as much power as he had over the years. An interesting friendly rivalry, though Vegeta did mouth the word “idiot,” and only seconds before Goku finally sprang away from the lake's surface with a rather unsettling splash.

Hovering in the sky above the lake, Goku gasped for breath. Noting that Goku was covered in water but no blood, Whis hummed in interest. A blow to the back of the head from the God of Destruction and somehow Goku had managed to break away unscathed. Pretty impressive for a Saiyan, if you asked him.

“ Oh man – I was knocked out for a while there!” Goku exclaimed as he gasped for breath, blinked a few times, and then brought his hands to his head to rub his scalp in quick motions. “Ow! Owowowowowowow – jeez – that really,  _ really _ hurt! What even  _ was _ that?”

Ah, so not entirely unscathed then.

Before he could lecture the Saiyan on his poor choice of stubborn relaxation, Beerus stood up straighter and beat him to the punch. “You might want to actually be on guard whenever I'm awake, you know. If a simple sneeze of mine can take you out, there's really no point in all the strength you're gaining.”

Grumbling a bit under his breath, Goku continued to rub at his head. “Yeah, I guess I really should start paying more attention, huh?”

“ Indeed,” Beerus hummed as he turned to Whis, dismissing the Saiyan outright. “Now, Whis, about these dessert items.”

“ Man,” Goku muttered as he slowly landed next to Vegeta, this time heeding the warning about ignoring Beerus' presence. “It just keeps stinging.”

Sending a glance to Goku at his comment, Whis logged the information and decided to focus on the easily irritable god in front of him. “Ah yes, Ladies Bulma and Chi-Chi both had a plate of little cakes they made themselves.”

“ Huh? Chi-Chi made something, too?”

Ignoring the Saiyan's comments, Whis instead watched Beerus' eyes light up at the mention of cake. “Well, I hope you share, Whis. I'm not exactly pleased at being woken up so early.”

“ Of course, Lord Beerus,” Whis said with a smile.

In one smooth gesture, he released the plate of desserts from his staff and watched Beerus salivate at their appearance. He really did remind him of an easily irritable cat at times, especially when he rubbed his long ears like that. Or when his eyes grew pleased at the prospect of food. Of course, he would never dare to compare the God of Destruction to a house cat. Whis smirked. Not out loud at least.

Although he was mostly focused on pleasing Lord Beerus, Whis did manage to catch a bit of the Saiyan conversation happening just a few feet beyond them. Normally he didn’t care, didn’t pay attention. But there  _ was  _ something different in Goku’s mannerisms. Had hitting his head caused some strange phenomena? 

He had to keep an eye on this Saiyan for sure now.

“ Kakarot.”

“ What? You annoyed or somethin'?”

“ What do you think? Why are you still acting like that blow actually hurt?”

“ I'm not acting. It really did hurt, you know. And like I said, it just keeps stinging for some reason.”

“ Well get over it. You're inflating his ego.”

“ Shut up. You're getting annoying.”

Whis blinked. That was certainly an interesting attitude to hear from Goku of all people. Though the comment had managed to appease Beerus. The God of Destruction did not like to hear others mocking his ego, but since Goku had already snapped at Vegeta, Lord Beerus seemed less inclined to jump into the middle of that mess.

“ These have quite the delicious flavor, Whis.”

“ Indeed,” Whis said, snatching a cake for himself. “I do believe Lady Chi-Chi is the better cook of the two. I almost feel cheated by Bulma.”

Apparently, bringing up the cooking ability of the Saiyan wives was enough to get them to interject into the conversation, dropping their own banter. “Kakarot's harpy may be the better cook, but it's always the same things with her. Bulma at least has a variety of options for you.”

“ Mmm, yes, possibly,” Beerus mumbled around the food in his mouth. “But I don't think I would mind eating these for the rest of eternity. They're very good.”

Before Whis could add his own commentary on the Saiyan wives, Goku decided to growl and send a glare to his rival. Since growling from Goku was definitely a new development, Whis decided to hang back and see what might happen.

“ Don't call her a harpy.”

Oh, yes, definitely an attitude. While this kind of banter was typical between these two, Goku’s reaction was a little more overboard than usual. Whis decided to prod further. 

“Oh, it looks like you've struck some kind of nerve with him, Vegeta.”

Vegeta responded in his typical fashion, shrugging through the warning by tacking on more insults. “Tch. Whatever. Seems like all she's good for is food and sex anyway. Which is just perfect for a low class warrior, you know.”

Whis sighed. Just another typical dance for the two of them,then. Vegeta pretending to rile Goku up with over-the-top insults about his class or family. Goku pretending to take them seriously. All in order to get a fight started between them. Nothing new to see after -

Energy formed and was shot directly toward Vegeta's face – an attack the prince dodged with just as much shock present in his moves as what Whis felt watching the action take place. Goku was still glaring. “Don't talk about Chi-Chi, Vegeta.”

“ What the hell?” Vegeta exclaimed, arms no longer crossed. “Since when do you react like that?”

Holding his glare, Goku brought his hand into a fist. “Since you started insulting my wife. All because your relationship with Bulma is nothing but sex, doesn't mean mine is with Chi-Chi.”

Whis hummed at the new development. “The plot thickens.”

“ I didn't say mine was,” Vegeta growled. “I very clearly stated how yours so obviously is because there's no other reason you'd put up with the bitch and it's all right if that's all she gives you 'cause what else can you expect from a  _ low class _ such as yourself.”

Goku's glare didn't falter in the least. In fact, it seemed to grow. “Stop saying I'm a low class warrior. Especially if you're the only thing to compare to. My son was stronger than you once.”

Maybe it was the smirk on Goku's face. Maybe it was the words. For whatever reason, the prideful Saiyan Prince dropped into an aggressive stance, as if saying the game was over. The playfulness was gone and in its place – a building, heavily accented hatred.

“ Once,” Vegeta said. “He's fallen into true low class roots now, giving up on training just as one could expect being raised by your  _ weakling  _ of a wife.”

Whis sucked in a breath at the insult, and with good reason. As he suspected, Goku did not respond well to those words, jumping quickly to his Super Saiyan status and springing toward Vegeta with all the rage expected from their kind. Of course, Vegeta quickly matched his rival's power boost and suddenly the two were entangled in quick jabs full of thunderous clashes and sparking motions. Fury at its finest, purest form.

Well, for the most part.

“ Saiyans,” Beerus muttered.

Although the God of Destruction showed little interest in watching the fight, Whis hummed as he noticed one strange little detail. “That's new. Goku's form has changed slightly. He's become more aggressive.”

Beerus simply shrugged beside him. “Probably just the rage. He seems the least likely to know how to control himself since he's so relaxed and impulsive all the time.”

“ That may be, but unlike before this does seem more controlled. He's calculating his moves more carefully now.”

“ Really now? Hm. That certainly is new,” Beerus said, leaning forward as his interest in the Saiyan fight suddenly peaked. “Vegeta seems confused by it, too. The flow in their usual sparring is more disjointed. Perhaps Goku has finally decided to listen and take your advice seriously.”

“ Perhaps I pegged him wrong. I thought he was too stubborn to let a little blow to the head make him change his mind.”

Tilting his head, Beerus hummed. “If Frieza's ray gun didn't change his mind, then I doubt my attack had much to do with it either. Unless of course the amount of times he's been injured because of his over-relaxed state have finally outweighed his stubbornness.”

“ Maybe,” Whis muttered, still watching the Saiyans bounce around the planet as their fight grew more and more aggressive. “Or maybe Vegeta has just pushed him over the edge. I never thought I would see Saiyans pushed to fight over insults about their family.”

“ That's a good point. They're not supposed to be a very family centered race. Too caught up in their own blood lust half the time,” Beerus said as he scratched at his ear. “Though both of them have shown to be very different from the average Saiyan. Goku most of all.”

“ Yes,” Whis nodded. “Starting with how he refuses to go by his Saiyan name. Well, I suppose 'refuse' isn't the right term, since he responds to Vegeta using it.”

“ Another interesting point. These two are strange to begin with.” Beerus paused and Whis could feel the god's eyes on him. “Is that why you agreed to train them? Because they are both enigmas? I know you wouldn't give in to something so exhausting just for food, even if it's delicious Earth food.”

Whis held up his hands in mock surrender. “Looks like I've been caught. Do you want me to end my deal with them and send them home – never to receive their delicious food ever again?”

“ Oh no, nothing so rash,” Beerus said rather quickly, waving his hand in the air. “Nice to know you aren't so easily bought, though it is clever of you to get food out of the bargain. I assume you would have trained them either way, if just to study them more.”

Frowning, Whis focused his attention back on the Saiyans. Their fight was still just as heated as earlier. If they didn't calm down soon, he might have to intervene. A friendly spar was all well and good but at the way their powers kept fluctuating…

“ I might not have trained them if it weren't for the food,” he admitted to Beerus. “But I would be monitoring them.”

“ Hm,” Beerus sighed. “All right then, Whis. Tell me. What new developments have you discovered about your little monkey experiment? What makes them so different and why?”

“ I've learned that Goku was sent to Earth as a child to destroy it but some sort of accident stopped that. From my understanding, he would have been much stronger if not for that moment.”

“ Much stronger, huh?” Beerus repeated, his attention going back to the fight just in time to watch Vegeta get knocked down from the aerial battle. Whis sighed at the timing. “Now that certainly is an interesting development. Some sort of accident and the Earth is saved because the Saiyan known as Kakarot is no longer as bloodthirsty as the rest of his race.”

“ Could make a good book series, if you asked me,” Whis muttered, eyes shifting from a smirking Goku to a raging Saiyan Prince. “The question remains of what turned Vegeta. That's one puzzle I have yet to solve.”

“ Mmm. Indeed. I never imagined I would find the Saiyan Prince living so peacefully on a backwater planet.”

“ I don't believe he did either,” Whis muttered back, hardly paying attention to the conversation any longer. “Who knows how long it took him to accept that he was.”

All conversation momentarily halted as energy began to rise, focused at one specific point: Goku. Even more specifically: Goku's hands. The Saiyan was bending down with his hands at his side, chanting the syllables for one of his iconic energy beams. Whis narrowed his eyes as he felt the energy rise. The Kamehamaha was not something easily brushed aside and by the looks of it, Vegeta was preparing one of his own iconic energy waves in response.

When the two beams fired and clashed, Beerus actually stepped forward, as if curious to see who might win. And then Goku pushed into the blue Super Saiyan mode, causing Vegeta to scramble to meet him at his own game. All while precious ki energy seeped from the both of them.

Whis sighed. “They never learn.”

This dance wasn’t all  _ too _ different from before, right down to the beam clash. So much wasted ki trailing around the two, crackling out as far as where Beerus and Whis stood to watch. What was the point of training them and instructing them if they wouldn’t learn? 

Then again, he still wanted to keep an eye on them. On Goku especially. That blow to his head coupled with his changed fighting style and new attitude. Hm. Something interesting was bound to happen in the future. Maybe he should send them home and see what came of it. 


	2. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter probably has the most VegeBul of the whole story. So, just, uh, don't worry if you don't like them (I like every canon couple and then some so). The focus of the whole thing is definitely, definitely GoChi & the Son Family.

Silhouette 

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 2 - Homecoming 

~!~

Vegeta growled as he blocked again and again and again. He couldn't remember the last time Kakarot had been _this_ aggressive. Fast, sure. Annoying with that teleporting trick of his, of course. Aggressive? 

Not like this. Vegeta had to pull on everything within him just to keep up with the fucker. Their usual banter and playful insults might have gone too far, but _this_ kind of reaction wasn't what he'd been expecting. Kakarot had never exploded in such uncontrollable rage before, not with him. 

Breathing heavy, Vegeta scowled at his own lack of control. The ki that Whis had told them of was seeping out everywhere. Uselessly dissipating into the atmosphere instead of being used for something productive. It bothered him. He wanted to lock down this problem.

But doing this while fighting an out of control Kakarot was _impossible_.

Especially when the bastard had to do the Kamehameha again. Vegeta growled and cursed as he flashed back with his own attack, blue wave meeting purple. His arms shook as he forced the energy out, teeth gritting hard as he met Kakarot's power and held his own. 

But then -

A voice. 

"Is Vegeta there? I need to talk to him right now!"

Eye twitching, he scowled as he fought harder to keep his concentration. Damn woman. Talking to Whis _now?_ What was her problem? 

He tried to ignore it. She could take care of herself. He was busy. Kakarot was being far too aggressive to look away from right now. Vegeta had gone and riled up his rival with the intention of having another good match. He didn't need _her_ stepping in and -

"I'll get you your food," Bulma snapped from Whis's little staff of many wonders. "But I really need to speak with Vegeta."

A flash of something exploded in the air in front of him and Vegeta pulled back as the beam battle reached its climax and dissipated. On the other side, Kakarot floated through the air with his arms and legs crossed. He smirked and Vegeta felt his blood boil.

Though he took his frustration out on someone else. 

"Damn woman," Vegeta growled. "I'm not someone to be at her every beck and call."

"I heard that!" Bulma shrieked. "Get over here right now!"

Floating around still, Kakarot chuckled. "Oh, wow, what did you do?"

Ignoring his rival for the moment, Vegeta dropped his own transformation and came down, landing in front of Whis's staff to snap at his wife's voice. "What?"

The woman's voice carried on, loud and hot. "Well, since you seem to be so interested in beating Goku up, I'll get straight to the point. I have been _trying_ to get your attention for two hours now because, Mister Prince of all Saiyans, I'm pregnant again!"

He felt like his stomach dropped down to his legs at the news. Surely it was a joke. Bulma had some magic pill that kept her from getting pregnant so why the hell - besides that, it had been _how_ many years since Trunks birth? 

He didn't think it was even possible. Saiyan women didn't keep popping out babies after this many years. Then again, Saiyan women didn't always live as long as Earthlings because of the nature of being a race so focused on battle. Aging would be slower, sure, but the average lifespan? 

Besides all _that_ , breeding with someone of another race meant the likelihood of actually reproducing weren't as high. So Trunks should have been an anomaly, never mind Kakarot's spawn. 

Were they really going to have another one? 

Vegeta stepped closer to the staff and lowered his voice. "How?"

"Oh dear," Whis sighed. "Prince Vegeta, you see, when a mommy human and a daddy Saiyan love each other very much -"

"Oh shut it!" Vegeta snapped. "I'm talking to her."

From the background, Kakarot whistled between his teeth. "I wouldn't tell Whis to shut up if I were you."

"Well," Whis said, clicking his tongue between his teeth. "I guess that means it's time to bring you home, Vegeta."

"Whatever," Vegeta scowled, straightening up and trying _not_ to glare at Whis or the ever constant presence of Beerus, God of Destruction. "I don't have a problem with leaving now."

"Interesting," Whis murmured. "Lady Bulma, you may indeed see us sooner rather than later."

"Do what you want," Bulma snapped. "I'm going to tell my parents now."

After a beat or two of silence, Vegeta assumed this meant Bulma had done as she said. What was even the point of calling? Did she want him to come home or not? Blasted woman confused the fuck out of him. 

Arms crossed, he scoffed and looked to Whis, raising a single eyebrow. Whis hummed and looked to Beerus. Beerus shrugged and then dove right back into eating his little dessert cakes. Apparently, those two wouldn’t really care what he did so long as they got their food. Why the hell had he been so scared of the God of Destruction before anyway? If Earth food could tame him so easily, then -

Kakarot’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Hey - what - seriously? You wanna go back now? But we’re still training up here!”

“Shut your face, Kakarot!”

When he yelled in his rival’s direction, he was surprised to see Kakarot wince and rub at his head, as if the noise bothered him. Was the idiot still dealing with a headache? Could he be anymore of a wimp? An attack from Beerus or not, that was just pathetic. Vegeta resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“All right, then,” Whis said, clapping his hands. “I suppose it’s decided. Shall we get going?”

Kakarot grumbled. “Well if you’re going, then I’ll go, too. No point being up here alone.”

Vegeta actually did roll his eyes at that statement, glancing over to Whis. “Ready when you are.”

Kakarot was being more annoying than usual, but it didn’t matter. More aggressive, more attitude, whatever, he didn’t care, because he was about to be home. Let his rival wander off to his home instead of staying up here to train with Whis alone. Not like Vegeta cared if Kakarot didn’t want to get further ahead of him. 

_Further ahead. Gah. One of these days, Kakarot, I swear I’ll catch up to you._

~!~

Ice cream cravings were the worst. Sherbet cravings on the other hand, gave her the sense of being a little bit more on the healthy side of things. Random sweet cravings never were one of her favorite things about being pregnant, but at least she could want something with a little more fruit in it.

Of course this craving had the special added bonus of wanting chocolate _and_ strawberry syrup on top of the lime-flavored sherbet. Even Bulma knew it was a little ridiculous at how specific it all was. Still, she sucked it up, made the dish, and then leaned back against the kitchen counter as she dug into the desert. So her mood while taking in spoonfuls of sherbet could best be described as sulking. So what?

It wasn't like Vegeta was going to walk in and see -

“What the hell are you doing?”

Bulma nearly dropped the spoon from her mouth as the stoic prince walked through the kitchen door and glared at her. She _did_ drop the spoon actually, but she caught it in time, though she stared with wide eyes at her husband. “Wait – you're actually here? Right now?”

“Yes, I'm here. Is that a problem? Do you want me to go back now?” Vegeta said with a cross scowl. “I still want to know how you let it happen. You promised not to have another child until we were both ready for it.”

She rolled her eyes at the accusation. “For your information, mister, this is all your fault. You're the one who's always complaining about having to wear a condom – so that last time when you didn't, well, this is what happened. Make sense or do I have to keep explaining it?”

She smirked as his eye twitched, thinking she'd gotten him, but when his finger lifted to point at her she knew the argument wasn't over yet. “You're supposed to have some magic pill that stops it, too. You can't lay this all on me.”

“Oh yes I can!” She snapped back, shoving her spoon in his direction. “I take my pill every day! I told you time and time again that they aren't magic, idiot!”

“Well then what's the fucking _point_ if they don't work?”

“The point is they _do_ work – they're just not perfect! Do you know _anything_ , Vegeta?”

When she saw the way his scowl deepened, Bulma rethought her decision to snap back at him so harshly. Then she reminded herself that she hadn't said anything too out of place. He was tougher than that. Vegeta should be snapping back at her. Shouting matches were normal, ritualistic almost. Their little special way of saying they loved each other – or really just appreciated someone who could take whatever they had and dish it out just as fast and easily. 

Before she could drift too far, Vegeta walked up and grabbed her arm. Bulma found her spoon waving back at her, but as soon as she found his eyes, she couldn't look away. So hard, yet harboring a secret softness in their depths, which came forward when he spoke his mind.

“I know that you only eat this shit when you're upset about something,” Vegeta said, his voice much softer than before. “So stop spouting weak ass insults and get to the point already.”

At first, her mouth dropped open in shock at the proof of her husband's concern for her, but Bulma wasn't about to explain her emotional cravings to him. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

He snorted. “Yeah, right. Don't play games with me.”

Maybe it was his concern. Maybe it was the fact that he was standing here so soon after the announcement. Maybe it was that look in his eyes – the one she'd come to love, the one where the dark prince peeled away to reveal a harsh but caring man underneath all the biting bravado.

Either way, she gave in, though she did it while jerking out of his grip and keeping her voice raised of course. “Fine! I was just certain that you weren't going to show just like with Trunks, so excuse me for being a little emotional.”

At her words, Vegeta seemed to freeze. Oh, he frowned, and twitched, and kept a bit of his glare. But his hand hovered in the air and the silence… Oh, the _silence_.

Feeling bad for voicing such a thing – even if he'd been the one pushing for it – Bulma glanced down at the sherbet in her hands. “But, you are here this time.”

The silence continued. Long and loud. So loud for being nothing. She could hardly think straight because of it. Half of her expected Vegeta to snap at any moment, or to scoff and brush it off. Except he didn't. He'd been stunned, possibly hurt, and she was the cause.

With a sigh, Bulma lifted her gaze to her stoic prince. “Why are you here? Tell me the truth.”

He scowled, glanced away, crossed his arms, all typical responses for him. But his words… “I told you, woman. You called. I came.”

His words made her heart soar with new found fondness. Rough, rude, and far too antisocial for her liking half the time, but it was moments like this that reminded her why she fell for him in the first place. It was the little gestures in life she had to appreciate. (And maybe she liked being the wife who could call on one of the strongest men in the universe).

“Right,” Bulma said with a smile as she shoved the pint of sherbet at Vegeta. “Hold this.”

After watching his confused face blink at the dessert now in his hands, Bulma rushed out of the room. She had made something special to commemorate the occasion of being pregnant. Of course, she hadn't expected to see Vegeta so soon, and her call to Whis had been a moody outburst. Too bad. Her perfect idea for an announcement was ruined.

Grabbing the specially designed pink shirt and a pair of khaki pants to go with it, Bulma rushed back to the kitchen. Before entering the room, she caught a glimpse of Vegeta sneaking a taste of her sherbet. The look on his face as the strange flavor descended on his tongue was absolutely priceless, and she wished she had a camera to capture the moment. Oh well. She had plenty of memories as it was – and if he knew such pictures even existed, he'd probably burn them all in a heartbeat anyway.

When she walked back into the kitchen with clothes, his eyebrows raised significantly. With a smile, Bulma stood in front of him and held the shirt and pants out to him, all while trying desperately not to laugh at the disgusted look on his face. Oh, he was going to deny wearing the shirt, but hopefully he would at least look at the words on the back first.

“Since you're here, you can wear this now,” she said. “And we can go shopping.”

Vegeta frowned and set the sherbet to the side so he could grab the clothes. Thankfully, the words were turned towards him to allow him to see before he tossed the shirt completely. She watched as his eyebrows furrowed first in confusion, then narrowed further as he scowled.

“No,” he said, setting the pink shirt on the counter. “No pink.”

Bulma frowned and felt her shoulders sag in disappointment. That was really the best reaction she was going to get out of him? _“Bad Dad”_ instead of _“Bad Man.”_ Well, she thought it was clever.

Before she could complain about his lame reaction, Vegeta glanced at the door beyond her. “Besides, Kakarot, Whis, and Lord Beerus are all outside waiting for food anyway.”

“What?” She exclaimed, eyes growing. “Whis and Beerus are outside waiting for food? For how long?”

Oh, shit, she was going to be in trouble. What was she supposed to give them? Sure, she'd left a message about a new fish to show them, but she hadn't expected them to come to Earth _now_.

While Bulma turned around to start rummaging through her fridge, Vegeta grumbled behind her. “I did have to travel by Whis to get here so -”

“What am I supposed to do?” She snapped. “I don't have anything to give him right now! Do I just make ramen? Does he want something new?”

“Just give them something sweet for now. There's so many ice cream variations, I'm sure they can be satisfied for a while until you think of something, if you still need to.”

“Right,” she said with a sigh. “But I'm afraid of accidentally giving them something they've already had before.”

She paused in her search, thinking through the option of handing them some sherbet. Was it different enough? Possibly. But what tasted good to her might not be the right choice. After all, Vegeta didn't seem to like the dessert. Well, not the way she made it. There were always other variations, like he'd said.

“Do whatever,” Vegeta said behind her, sounding completely calm about the situation. “If all else fails, we can always have Kakarot offer up his wife so they don't destroy the Earth.”

Feeling her eyes widen, Bulma tried to pull out of the fridge too quickly and managed to smack her head against the top of it. Still, the minor pain was nothing next to her shock as she spun on her husband. “Vegeta! That is never an option in any circumstance for anyone!”

“What?” God, why didn't the man look apologetic at all for his comment? “Why not?”

“Are you crazy?” She snapped, stepping toward him. “What if Goku tried to suggest the same thing about me – how would you feel about that?”

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. “Why would Kakarot suggest you?”

Feeling her face flush, Bulma glared. “Oh, I get it. You don't think I'm attractive anymore because I'm pregnant. Is that it?”

“What?” Vegeta said as his eye twitched. “Why the hell would you think that? I never said anything about your attractiveness!”

Setting her hands on her hips, Bulma continued to glare at him. “Then what is it? Why do you think it's okay for you to suggest Chi-Chi but not me?”

“You can't cook.”

The quick, simple response threw her off guard. Cooking? Honestly. Is that what it came down to? She wondered if Goku would have answered the same way. Damn Saiyan men.

Crossing her arms with a huff, Bulma turned away from him. “I get it. Must be a Saiyan thing to find the women who can cook the best the most desirable.”

“What the – what the fuck does this have to do with who I desire, woman?”

“Don't make me spell it out, you ass,” she said as she turned back to face him, ignoring the heat in her face. “You're the one who started this!”

“I didn't start anything, woman,” Vegeta scowled, eye twitching even more as he met her gaze. “I was suggesting we could always rely on Kakarot's wife to be able to cook something well enough and fast enough to appease Lord Beerus and Whis.”

Oh.

_Oh._

Well, she certainly felt dumb now. Glancing away from his eyes, she mumbled. “Right. Forget I said anything, then.”

“The hell did you _think_ I meant, woman?”

“It doesn't matter, okay!” She shouted as she turned back to the fridge, trying to hide the embarrassed flush to her face now. “What flavor sherbet do you think I should give them?”

“How should I know?” Vegeta scoffed. “Just pick something. They're delighted over simple shit like cheese so it's not like they're going to hate whatever you bring out.”

Mumbling under her breath, Bulma closed the fridge and opened the freezer to search for the perfect flavor. “Yeah, you're right. Just don't let them know you said that.”

~!~

Chi-Chi stepped back from the display case, holding one of her nice china plates in hand. Although the new piece of furniture was in the kitchen and held mostly plates, she still wasn't sure if it had been worth it. Gift from her father or not, she didn't really like holding onto things that didn't hold a purpose. Having a display case to show off all her easily breakable special items seemed somehow a waste. She'd always kept the china high on the top shelves, after all. Meant to hold and cherish and one day use for the perfect occasion.

Glancing down at the plate in hand, Chi-Chi sighed. She'd always dreamed of one day passing such things down to a daughter. Maybe use them at one of her child's weddings the way the china had been used at her own. Except she didn't have a daughter and Gohan hadn't needed such a frivolous gift for his, not with Videl's father providing almost everything for the wedding. Chi-Chi sighed again as she ran a hand over the precious china plate. As much as she loved her boys, sometimes she wished…

“Chi.”

The sudden deep voice in the room behind her startled her enough to make her jump. Her fingers lost their grip, and the china plate fell to the floor with a loud, resounding crash. A crash of shattering china, scattering all over her clean floor.

After her heart beat managed to calm down enough, Chi-Chi turned around and then narrowed her eyes at the man standing there waiting so patiently for her attention. “Goku! How many times have I told you not to teleport in like that?”

“Doesn't matter,” he answered, facing her without any apology or fear at her ire. “You should be used to it by now, Chi-Chi.”

Hearing such a thing from Goku caused her to blink and rub her eyes to make sure he was the person she thought he was. Dark, wild, untamed hair. Dark eyes. Eyes that seemed to be missing their usual bright innocence. Oh, and he was still wearing his latest _gi_ which meant he'd just come back from his training under Whis. A little earlier than expected, but, yes, this was Goku standing before her.

Well, if he'd picked up some kind of attitude from his time away, she wasn't going to have it. “I should be used to it? Goku, you can't expect me to be prepared for you to pop in at any second. I have other things on my mind, you know.”

When his dark eyes narrowed instead of lifting up in his usual apologetic glow, Chi-Chi felt her heart skip a beat. He never turned that look on her. “You mean like how you made some sweets for Whis and Beerus?”

“Huh?” She blinked, unsure of how to respond to the look and the words. “Yeah, I guess that's a good example, but, Goku, that's not the point.”

Right. The point was that his sudden appearance had startled her. He loved teleporting in and surprising her but he _always_ apologized for it, whether he said it half-heartedly or not. She was used to seeing his smile when she complained about his antics. Not this.

When he stepped forward, she stepped back on instinct, finding her back against the counter that held her new display case. Goku had just trapped her between the furniture and himself. That shouldn't bother her. He had his playful moods, after all, especially when he came home from training. But this was…

“It's not the point, but it is important,” he said, continuing the conversation as he leaned in closer to put his face in front of hers. “Why did you make them those treats?”

“Goku,” she said, surprised to hear her voice in a breathy whisper. “Why does it matter?”

Chi-Chi flinched when his hand hit the counter. Aggressive. That was what was bothering her. And something else. What was it? Why was her heart skipping beats? Why was she trembling as he came closer, as he almost pressed against her? This was her husband. Her precious, innocent, silly, loving husband. She shouldn't be feeling so…

…so...

“You shouldn't be making anything for anybody except me.”

...so _terrified_.


	3. Headaches

Silhouette 

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 3 - Headaches 

~!~

_This woman. Her scent drives me crazy. I need more. I need all of her._

_Why is that? Who is she?_

_…_

_Ah, yes, my wife._

_Then she’s already mine._

~!~

Reality shifted. The world returned into focus. Goku blinked and found that he was kissing Chi-Chi. He had her pressed up against a wall, a hand holding her wrist down. Feeling his thoughts whirling in confusion - the last thing he remembered certainly wasn’t this, was he dreaming? - Goku pulled away and dropped his grip, flexing his fingers with a frown. He’d been holding her a little harder than normal there. Why?

“Goku,” Chi-Chi breathed, her eyes wide and shaking. “What was that about?”

“I -”

How did he answer? He couldn’t remember anything. The last thing he could remember was being hit on the head and falling into a lake. With a grimace, he brought his hand up to his head and rubbed at the spot that was giving him problems. It almost felt like that nasty scar was pulsing in time with the throbbing headache. 

Before he could think of a good enough answer for his wife, Chi-Chi closed the small gap between them and set the back of her hand on his forehead. “You’re a little warm, but that’s sort of normal for you.”

“Hm.” 

Her touch felt nice, but he was still trying to figure out why she actually looked scared of him. Had he done something that he forgot? Why couldn’t he remember coming home? What was going on? 

Taking a step back from her, something crunched under his feet. Goku made a face as he glanced down. Shards of, uh, well, _something_ were scattered over the floor. That was weird. You'd think he'd remember breaking something. 

"Goku," Chi-Chi said, poking his chest. "You better help me clean up. That plate broke because of you, you know."

"Huh? What? It did?"

Eyes wide, he glanced from the plate to his wife and scratched at his head. His head that still ached fiercely. Man, what was with _that?_ He'd been knocked on the head plenty of times before when fighting so why was this any different? And why couldn't he shake the feeling that it had something to do with the scar from when he fell as a baby? 

Chi-Chi stepped closer to him, bringing a hand to his cheek to force his wandering eyes to face her. "Goku, you're acting strange. Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine, Chi," he said quickly. "Just a headache."

_And I've lost some memories, apparently. When did I even get home?_

"Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah, I'm sure it's nothing. Don't worry." Rubbing the back of his head, he frowned. "But tell me something. Did I just get back or-"

Her eyes narrowed and he sprang back at the fire in her gaze on instinct. Pieces of broken china crunched underneath him and he grimaced. That certainly wouldn't make her any happier. If only he knew why she looked so angry all of a sudden…

Her finger came up, slashing through the air. "I've told you countless times not to surprise me with that Instant Transmission thing of yours."

"Oh, uh, sorry, Chi-Chi. I don't really remember doing that, though. Honest!"

She huffed. "I suppose you don't remember telling me to get over it, either, huh?"

His eyes widened immediately. "What? I said that? That doesn't sound like me."

"No, it -" her eyes glanced off to the side, her arms coming in close to her body. "No, you didn't seem much like your usual self at all."

He didn’t like this. Chi-Chi looked more than worried as she pulled away from him. He couldn’t remember the last time she had seemed so nervous and uncomfortable around him. Whatever he couldn’t recall, whatever memories he had lost, obviously it was a bigger deal than he was making it out to be. 

With a frown, he held a hand out to her, but he pulled himself back at the last second. She wasn’t looking at him. Her gaze had shifted to the mess on the floor. Glancing around, Goku realized they were on the outskirts of the kitchen, near her little cabinet of special breakable items. From what he could gather, he must have come in and startled her while she was cleaning them or something - and now there was at least one of those nice plates on the floor. 

Scratching at his head, Goku grimaced. Maybe he should tell her about the memory thing. Maybe he should let her know more of what was going on, but… but he didn’t want to worry her anymore. She already looked a little scared by something he said or did so -

So -

Frustration built up inside of him and he rubbed at his head with both hands because the headache just would _not_ go away. In fact, it almost felt like it was getting worse. Making it harder to focus on...on anything.

~!~

_Stop doing that._

_This is my life._

_And she’s mine._

~!~

“Goku, are you feeling all right?” Chi-Chi asked, somehow managing to speak through the shake in her voice.

Reaching a hand up to his forehead for the second time, she tried not to meet his eyes, instead focusing on his temperature, which wasn't really any warmer than usual. So, not a fever or anything but that didn't mean he was completely healthy. Something had to be wrong. Goku kept rubbing at his head and the look in his eyes didn’t seem all that stable.

“Hah?”

Still not meeting his gaze, she pushed the bangs back from his forehead and then dropped her hand to her side. “You're – you're scaring me.”

A quick moment of silence echoed between them. Such words felt strange to say, especially about her husband. He never…

“Gosh, Chi-Chi, I didn't mean to scare ya,” Goku said to break the silence; he stepped back away from her and when she lifted her eyes she saw him frowning at the ground and rubbing his head. “I just...keep losing focus, I guess”

“Losing focus?” She whispered with a frown, watching him closely. “Are you sure you're feeling well?”

Not a fever, but there was _definitely_ something else, especially with the way he _continued_ to rub his head like that, even as he lifted his eyes and blinked. “Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Did I really freak you out that much? I'm sorry.”

Letting out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, Chi-Chi let herself relax. The innocent stare was back in his eyes. Whatever had been affecting him was gone now, even if it kept flickering into some kind of glare she wasn’t used to seeing at all. Regardless, this was still her husband. She should be relaxed. Probably something weird happened during his training. It was the only explanation that made any sense to her.

Incident pushed to the side, Chi-Chi knelt down to pick up the pieces of shattered china. “It's okay now. Why don't you help me pick this up since it is your fault.”

“Huh?” Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him take a step back. “Whoa! Yeah, sorry, I almost forgot.”

Whether or not he was being serious, Goku still knelt down in front of her to help clean up the shards of glass. She paused for a moment to watch his hands snatching as many pieces as possible. Breaking glass wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence in their household, though this was the first time such a nice plate had been shattered.

With a playful glare, she eyed him as he moved quickly in helping her. “It happened when you surprised me, silly. This is what can happen when you pop in without warning like that.”

“Hah – uh – sorry, Chi. I just really wanted to see you, I guess,” he said, giving her his typical apologetic glance as he stood up to toss his collected glass shards in the trash. While she stood up with her own handful, Goku winced and put a finger in his mouth. “Ow. That smarts.”

Giving him a sympathetic smile, she dropped her shards in the trash and then went for the broom to sweep up the little slices they'd missed. “Careful, sweetheart. Shattered china is always sharp.”

He hummed in acknowledgment before popping the finger out of his mouth. “Wasn't that one of those 'nice' plates you wouldn't let me eat off of?”

“Yes, Goku. Yes, it was,” she said as she dumped the last little bits of china in the trash with a sigh. “And now it's gone.”

“I'm sorry, Chi,” he said. “I'll try to stop surprising you. Any way I could make it up to you?”

After setting the broom back in its proper place, she turned full attention to her husband and crossed her arms, grateful to have him apologizing for the surprise like normal. “Hm. Depends. How long are you going to be home? I recognize that you want to be training, but if you had time...”

If he was going to be staying for any length of time, then she could put him to work. Harvesting crops on their farm would go so much faster with his speed and strength behind the monotonous movements. Not to mention the outfit he wore for the work… Well, it looked so much better than that tired old _gi_ , that was for sure.

He gave her a blank stare in return, but then smiled warmly. “Whatever you want, babe. Vegeta's not gonna be training with Whis for a while so I don't need to worry about keeping up with him.”

“So you can go back to work so we don't have to scrape by?” It sounded too good to be true, but she clasped her hands together and let the dreaming take her. She was allowed. Goku had said _anything_ after all. “And we can visit our granddaughter together...and you can even be there when Gohan gives his important presentation for school.”

“Yeah, sure,” Goku said, nodding with his smile staying put. “As long as Bulma's pregnant and Vegeta's staying for her, I can stay and do whatever you'd like me to. So long as I can keep training, though.”

Nodding along with his words, Chi-Chi knocked herself out of the day dreams and walked up to poke him in the chest. “Yeah, of course you can keep training, but if you do go back to work you better not be slacking on the job.”

She remembered the last time she'd put him to work all too well. Whole fields ruined because of his urge to train in the worst possible places. And then stories from Goten of getting to drive the tractor while Goku was goofing off. Not to mention the time she'd actually caught him slacking off and fighting in a ring. If he would focus on work for a few hours every day, then she would be satisfied. But…

“Wait,” she said, pulling back and glancing up at him as all of his words processed. “Bulma's pregnant?”

Already having his hands up somewhat defensively, Goku blinked at the sudden change of subject. “Huh? Oh, yeah, that's why we came back. She called to tell us and Vegeta wanted to come back right away so I came along, too.”

Before Chi-Chi could press him for more information, she found their conversation temporarily broken by the sound of the front door opening and then slamming closed. The pitter patter of light footsteps filled the house and she smiled even before Goten walked into the kitchen. Dressed in his new school's dark blue uniform, her youngest son finally met the model for the young boy his age. No more casual clothes and hand-me downs. Thanks to the money from Mr. Satan, she'd been able to get Goten into the same school as Trunks – and give him the same uniform. Dark blue backpack included. He could finally fit in with the other boys his age.

“Huh? Daddy?” Goten said as he paused in the kitchen to stare at them. “What are you doing back? I thought you were training.”

Goku's hands dropped back to his sides as the dark gaze centered on their son, leaving this strange beat of silence in the room until finally Goku smiled as normal. “Hey, little guy, how are you doing?”

Waving off Goku's question, Chi-Chi stepped forward to make sure her new routine with her youngest was followed. “Goten, why don't you get right into your homework so you don't have to worry about it later tonight? I'll bring you a special snack in a moment.”

Goten glanced to her and then in one quick breath ignored her completely, focusing on his dad instead. “I want to hear about that cat-guy's planet.”

“Nah, not right now,” Goku laughed, rubbing the back of his head. “You should just do what your mother tells you.”

While Chi-Chi relaxed to hear those words from Goku, Goten shrugged a bit in defeat. “It was worth a shot.”

And then their son went off to his room without any further complaint. Chi-Chi nodded in satisfaction, but Goku frowned. “Is he all right?”

“Hm?” She blinked up at him. “Of course he's all right, sweetheart.”

With a grimace, Goku scratched at his head. “Yeah, but, he normally insists on me telling him about my training. Doesn’t he?”

“He's finally starting to learn that whining won't get him what he wants all the time,” she said proudly as she playfully nudged his arm. “Something you could still work on, honestly.”

Goku pouted in response. “Hey, I don't whine.”

“Sure you don't,” Chi-Chi giggled, sarcastically nudging back as she turned her attention to her options for Goten's daily snack. “Now, what -”

A hand on her arm froze her in place, a tighter grip than what she was used to from him, and she turned wide eyes back to Goku when new words left his mouth. “I just know how to get what I want.”

Silence echoed between them. Chi-Chi stared up at him, hearing her breath pant free in the air, feeling the blood rush through her as her heart pounded in her chest. Terrified. Again. Her husband holding her. His eyes on her. His mouth upturned in a strange smirk. And her body _screaming_ in protest, her mind begging to push away even as she wanted to run _to_ him for comfort.

So she licked her lips and stuttered. “Tha-that's not true, though. We've compromised on things for years.”

“Yeah, but,” he cut off, grimaced, dropped his grip to bring it back to his head. “Hey, Chi, my head kinda hurts.”

Relief flooded her at the words. Relief to know that there was a cause – a _reason –_ for this strange behavior. Of course this wasn't her normal, sweet husband. He wasn't feeling well and he was acting strange because of it.

Having some explanation helped the tension to slowly ease out of her. “Oh, I knew something was wrong. Here. Why don't you lay down and I'll massage your head for you for a little bit. Then if it still hurts, we'll see about medicine. Did you hit it while you were training?”

She took his hand – the one he didn't have on his head – as she talked, leading him through the house to their bedroom. Goten's snack could wait. Goku needed her now, as was evident by the way he simply let her lead him without any protest. He must have been hurting pretty badly, or maybe he was just disoriented enough, to follow along so easily and nod at everything she said. Whatever the case, clearly he wasn't himself right now and he just needed her to help ease whatever ache was causing this strange mess.

“Yeah, I was talking to Vegeta and I guess Beerus did something and hit my head and ever since then, I've...” His words drifted off and when she got him to sit on the edge of their bed, he looked up as if he couldn't even remember his current train of thought. His hand squeezed hers, but it was light and gentle and he even offered a small smile with one eye closed. “Any chance I could lay down on your lap?”

Giving him a smile, Chi-Chi nodded. “Sure, sweetheart, anything you need.”

Climbing up to the head of the bed, Chi-Chi positioned herself between the pillows so that he could lay down easily enough with the both of them remaining comfortable. His eyes lit up as he followed her and climbed up as well, taking only a moment or two to remove his boots at her request.

Eventually, Goku found a position for himself that involved nearly wrapping his arms around her waist. He pretty much buried his face in her lap as he laid down on his stomach. She smiled as he nuzzled against her, reaching out to run her fingers through his wild hair. She kept it sweet and simple at first, then gradually added pressure to her strokes, even scratching at his scalp occasionally.

Going off the content hum, she could easily assume that her light massaging felt nice. “You're the best, Chi-Chi.”

As she continued her motions, she hummed back at him. “You almost had me really scared, you know. Earlier. You've never taken that tone with me before.”

“Hmm...what tone?”

“When you first showed up today. You were mad at me for making food for Beerus and Whis,” she said, giggling because the incident was in the past and seemed so absurd now. “I know you love my cooking, but that's going a bit far.”

Goku shifted his position around and then snatched her hand mid-brush. “Don't cook for anybody else, Chi-Chi. Just me and the boys.”

At first, she was surprised, but her eyebrows slowly lowered when she realized those words actually had come out of his mouth. “Are you – no, I won't do that. You're being selfish if you think I wouldn't cook for someone else.”

“I'm allowed,” he said, his voice steady, his eyes meeting hers in a glare, his hand squeezing hers a little _too_ tightly now. “You're _my_ wife, aren't you? You shouldn't be cooking for anyone else.”

Before she could snap back – or complain about the grip he was using – a young voice entered their bedroom almost as a reminder that they weren't alone in the house. “Hey, Mom, didn't you say you were gonna get me some food?”

At Goten's voice, Goku blinked and dropped his hold on Chi-Chi's arm as he sat up on the bed, looking around almost curiously. “Huh? Goten, when did you get here?”

“Oh, Goten, something came up, but I'll start working on it now and -” Chi-Chi paused as she replayed Goku's words in her mind. Leaning forward with a frown, she touched his shoulder. “You were there when Goten came home, sweetheart, don't you remember?”

“I guess you're right,” Goku said quickly, crossing his arms and staring down at the bed covers. “Huh. How did I forget that? That's weird. Guess I hit my head harder than I thought.”

Chi-Chi stared at her husband, unsure what to say or do to help him. Clearly something was wrong with his memory. Maybe she should take him to a hospital, just to check him out for any serious brain damage. After all these years had he actually gotten so hurt that her fears had culminated into something real? What was going on? Would that explain the sudden personality flips? The sudden _difference_ that left her terrified of her own husband? Or was it something else?

“Is Dad all right?”

At Goten's question, Chi-Chi blinked out of her worrisome what-ifs and climbed off the bed to lean over next to her husband, grabbing his hands in hers and pressing her forehead against his to meet his eyes as soon as he looked up. “Just get some rest, sweetheart. I'm sure it'll all go back to normal if you give it enough time.”

He smiled back at her, his eyes shining in their appreciation for her. “Okay. Yeah. Thanks, Chi-Chi.”

“Mom?”

With Goten waiting at the door, Chi-Chi gave one last nod to her husband before pulling away to give attention to their youngest. “Your dad will be fine, Goten. Sometimes training can get a bit rough, that's all.”

“Yeah, all right,” Goten said as she pushed him out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her. “Hey, Mom, does Gohan know Dad's home? Cause I wanna be the one to tell him if he doesn't.”

“I think it would be wonderful for you to tell your brother,” she said. “Let's give your father some time to rest, though. And you still need to change out of your school clothes.”

Goten laughed and nodded. “Right. Okay. But -”

“Go on,” she said, waving her hand at him. “Get changed and I'll have some snacks ready for you in the kitchen.”

“All right!”

As her youngest son ran off to his room at the promise of snacks, Chi-Chi laughed. So much like his father. He'd do anything for food sometimes. She spared a glance back to the closed bedroom door where her husband was currently, _hopefully_ resting off this strange headache. She frowned and winced as she rubbed her arm, feeling the ache still present near her wrist where he'd grabbed her earlier.

_Oh, Goku, I sure do hope everything will be okay._


	4. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goten chills at home for a while, witnesses weird tension between his parents, then visits Gohan]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to put something about ages. So I'm gonna say it now. I've tweaked a few from the offical dates, but this first part takes place in Age 779. For our intents and purposes - Trunks is 13, Goten is 11, Marron is 9, Pan is almost 1. There ya go :)

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 4 - Questions 

~!~

With the prospect of one of his mother’s snacks on the mind, Goten slipped out of his school uniform as quickly as possible. The navy blue jacket and pants went flying through the room as his dress shoes were kicked under the bed. He knew his mom would find all the pieces, wash them, and have them hanging back in his closet in time for his next school day so where the clothes went now hardly bothered him. 

Like anything else in his room. His bed would stay unmade if not for his mom and no doubt a lot of clutter would stay on his floor, too. Sometimes he felt kinda bad for not cleaning everything up the way Gohan would have, but other times - like now - other things were on the mind so he didn’t care. At least his game system area, consisting of a small television, an old console courtesy of Trunks and two of the most recent handheld systems, stayed organized amidst all the other mess. He didn’t have many games but he didn’t want to lose them or scratch them up, probably _because_ he didn’t have many to call his own. 

As he changed into casual wear - jeans and a shirt with his latest favorite superhero plastered on the front - Goten let his eyes light up on seeing the posters on the walls. The one between his bed and closet was an artist’s rendition of his father and Mr. Piccolo back when they fought at the 23rd tournament. He had several such posters and paintings around his room, but the one of his dad always made him grin. 

He _was_ happy to have his dad back from training today, but he knew how these visits back usually went. His dad would spend way more time with his mom and then end up doing gross couple stuff when they thought he wasn’t looking. Much easier to ask his questions about Beerus and Whis and the training he’d had after his dad’s first day back. Of course he was still excited to have that familiar presence back in the house.

After almost seven years of growing up without a father, Goten didn’t think he’d ever stop being happy to see his dad home.

When he got to the kitchen, his mom stood by the counter. She sliced up apples and set them aside with caramel and peanut butter. A part of him felt a little disappointed with the healthy option - he much preferred sweets - but food was food and snacks were snacks. He couldn’t complain too much.

Slapping his backpack on the ground beside his chair, Goten sat down and reluctantly pulled out his math workbook. His mom insisted that he do his homework while eating a snack right after school, and even if he didn’t care for his schoolwork, it wasn’t a hard bargain to make. Even though his father was no longer dead and as a result home more often and his mom was happier with him around the house, Goten still did what he could to keep her happy (besides the obvious fact that getting his mom to turn her wrath on him was _never_ a good idea).

“Hey, Mom,” he asked as he got situated at the table. “You sure Dad’s gonna be all right?”

“Of course he is,” his mom responded. “He just hit his head. I think he said Beerus hit him while he wasn’t looking, but give him time to recover and he’ll bounce back to normal.”

Reaching out for an apple slice to dip into a huge amount of caramel, Goten shrugged. “He just seemed to be acting a little different.”

“Yeah, I know,” his mom said as she slid into a chair across from him. “I’m a little worried, too, but I’m sure after a good nap, he’ll be fine.”

Shrugging again, Goten focused more attention on the snacks in front of him now. He knew his mom was a little worried. He could tell by the way she hummed and stared off into the distance, her eyes losing a little of her light. But he decided not to press. If she said Dad would be all right, then he’d be all right.

He sure hoped so, at least. He wanted to train with his dad again. Trunks kept complaining about all the training his dad made him do even when Vegeta _wasn’t_ around, but Goten had slacked off a bit because he didn’t have anyone pushing him. It wasn’t really fun unless he could have someone to train with and Trunks didn’t always seem as interested anymore.

Getting to train with his dad, though. That would be fun. His dad always had some of the best moves and he really knew how to make training interesting. Plus he always had some new technique or words of wisdom to share - or he could talk about one of his past fights if pressed hard enough. Goten liked having his dad in the house, but he especially liked getting to go out and do something they both enjoyed, too. 

Of course, he’d have to ask his mom if it was all right first.

“Hey, Mom,” he said, swallowing another apple slice so he wouldn’t get in trouble for talking with his mouth full. “Do you think Dad could train me while he’s here?”

The way his mom turned a frown to him made his excitement dissipate in disappointment, but then she smiled and nodded, bringing his heart back into a joyful beat. “Maybe a little. I’ll want him to work the fields some while he’s here so we don’t have to lean on Gohan or Bulma for support for your schooling. But I can tell you really miss hanging out with him, don’t you?”

Goten gave a vigorous nod. “Yeah. I know it’s probably lame to still want to hang out with my dad at my age, but I figured with Gohan out of the house that I’d get to have him all to myself now. Then he goes and spends a lot of his off time with you and -”

His mom laughed. “You’re right. He does do that, doesn’t he?”

“It’s kinda gross.”

“That’s just what married couples do, sweetie,” his mom said with a smile. “You’ll understand someday.”

“Blech, no, girls are still gross to me, mom.”

The only girl he liked hanging out with was Marron and that was only when Trunks was around, too. Once she had gotten old enough to join their hangouts, she kinda followed them around whether they wanted her or not. And after a while, it just became normal. She was cool, though. Not in that kissy-kissy way that Gohan got with Videl or his dad got with his mom. She was just...fun to be around, that was all.

Besides, spending time with his dad was _much_ more fun. So now that he had his mom’s approval, he found it to be even more difficult to focus on his schoolwork. Oh well. He’d just fill in the math answers as he pleased anyway. As long as he filled it in, his mom didn’t have room to berate him, and Trunks would look over his answers and give him the right ones anyway if he needed to get his grades up.

He couldn’t wait for his dad to finish his nap. Then he’d really get to have a good time today. If his dad was up for spending time with _him_ instead of his mom, at least. A part of him still kinda worried that he’d have to wait for tomorrow.

~!~

After an hour or so of watching her youngest son eating her healthy snack - she’d managed to get him away from snacking on sweets _all_ the time - Chi-Chi decided it would be a good time to work on something for dinner. So she left Goten to his homework, glad to see him at least putting _some_ effort into his schoolwork, and went to the cupboard to see what she had on hand. Something that would only take an hour or two to make would be best…

“Chi-Chi?” She glanced over to the doorway, finding her husband hanging at the arch and rubbing his head. “Didn’t you say something about medicine I could use for the pain?”

Glancing up, she met his somewhat awkward smile as he stepped into the room and walked over to them both. He had changed out of his _gi_ , which meant he must have gotten some rest in that hour - or tried to at least. Now he was wearing his casual sweatpants and a black tank top, which accented his chest muscles quite nicely, if she did say so herself.

Goku made his way next to Goten, taking a moment to ruffle the boy's hair and grin. “Hey, kiddo. Didja get all that work done?”

Goten cut off his own giggle and reached up to try to shake his dad away from the hair ruffling thing. “Not all of it yet. I still have a few pages of math to do.”

Although she wanted to address her son's homework, Chi-Chi had a stronger urge to help her husband right now. So she stood up and rushed to the medicine cabinet as fast as possible. Snatching the pills she normally used for headaches, she paused. How much would Goku need? When was the last time he'd been sick enough to straight up _ask_ for medicine like this?

Shrugging, Chi-Chi decided on a little more than a proper adult dose and poured the pills into her hand. “Yeah, sweetheart, right here. It's not getting worse, is it?”

She glanced back to him, saw him grin at Goten and then turn to face her, scratching his head. “I wouldn't say it's worse. Just that it's annoying how it's not going away.”

Once she poured a glass of water, Chi-Chi tried a light smile as she walked over and handed him the medicine. “Well, that's something at least.”

Goku returned her smile as he took the pills gratefully, chugging down the glass of water, too. She watched him, biting her lip, trying to think of some other way to be helpful. She wanted to rub his head for him some more, but such contact was usually reserved for the bedroom. Not to mention it would be awkward if he wasn't lying down, since he was so tall.

When he set a hand on her hip and pulled her closer, she blinked, staring up at his shining smile. “Thanks, Chi.”

The kiss was unexpected, but warm and soft so she took it willingly. Even if it felt a bit off for Goku to be kissing her in the kitchen with Goten sitting so close. She set a hand on his chest, breathed him in, and then pushed away.

“Hope you feel better soon,” she said softly. “You're not really one to have headaches last this long.”

“Hmm. Yeah. It is pretty weird,” Goku said, glancing to the side. “Hey, Goten, how have you been doing on your training?”

Putting down his apple slices, Goten swerved his head to face his dad. “I haven’t really done much since Trunks doesn’t feel like it lately and it’s boring when I’m by myself.”

“Don't worry about it,” Goku smiled. “You can help me train while I'm here.”

“Seriously?” Goten jumped up in his seat, grinning wide. “That would be awesome!”

Chi-Chi sighed, shaking her head, even though she’d already given Goten the promise for such a thing. “As long as you promise to still spend time working the fields, Goku. We really could use the money.”

“Do I have to, Chi-Chi?” Goku frowned. “Can't I just enter a tournament or something to earn the money?”

She set her hands on her hips, and gently pulled his hands off and away. “No, there aren't any tournaments worth fighting in for you and you know that. Besides, I want our granddaughter to see you doing more than fighting all the time.”

“But I don't see anything wrong with fighting. I can already tell that she's gonna be really strong and I don't like the idea of her not using that.”

“No means no, Goku. I want a nice, sweet little girl, not another fighter.”

The narrowed eyes from her husband took her by surprise. “What you should do is let her do what she wants.”

“She can do what she wants, but it's up to us on what she's exposed to when she's younger.” He could narrow his eyes all he wanted; she wasn't about to back down. She even shook her finger at him as she continued, “And it's for her benefit to not be exposed to any serious fighting.”

“I don't see why I have to not fight just so that she can turn out how you want her to,” Goku growled, another reaction that took her by surprise. “How does Gohan feel about this?”

Bringing her hands back to her hips, she offered a casual shrug. “Oh, I'm sure Gohan and Videl will raise her how they want, but they haven't been against my ideas yet.”

Goten's voice chirped from the table where he still sat, being an observer to this heated discussion. “Actually, Gohan and Videl don't really care how she grows up. Mr. Satan really wants her to be a fighter, too.”

With a frown, she eyed their son. “Stay out of this, Goten. Finish your homework, sweetie.”

“He's right,” Goku stated. “He can talk.”

“What?” Chi-Chi exclaimed, feeling more and more startled at the direction this discussion was going. “Goku, no, this is between us right now. Leave the children out of it.”

“But it's about the kids,” Goku pressed. “You raised Goten to be a fighter before I came here, didn't you?”

An instant passed by her without a breath. Non-existent ice slid down her back. Why? Why did he have to bring up -

“That's different,” she whispered.

“Is it?” He continued on, leaning in, forcing her to step back, that strange aggressive stance taking over and making her tremble. “Why did you train him, but you won't let me train around Pan?”

Lowering her eyes, Chi-Chi tried to escape his insistent gaze; she didn't want to talk about this, especially not in front of Goten. “Because I – I had my reasons for training Goten, but I don't want...I don't want Pan to end up thinking it's fun to be in danger the way you or Goten do.”

A beat of silence met her admission, followed by the sweeter tone of Goku saying. “Huh? Oh...I'm sorry, Chi-Chi. I didn't realize that's how you felt about it.”

She didn't say anything in response. She couldn't think of the words, too busy fighting off the recalled heartache of those seven years without him. So she kept her head down, brought her hands in to cling to the fabric of her dress, and refused to speak a word.

“Ah, Chi?” A pause. “Hey, uh, Goten, why don't you go visit Gohan for a while? Tell me how Pan's doing?”

“What about my homework?”

“Why don't you get Gohan to help you with that?”

“Yeah! He'll help me get it done super fast!”

A flurry of movement. The sound of a chair being pushed back. Of feet scampering away. And then hands hovering close to her, not touching, and then pulling back.

“Chi, talk to me, please.”

Finally, she managed to control herself enough to look up at him, though she could still feel the water in her eyes. “Goku, what's wrong with you?”

His breath hitched in the answering silence, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “I don't know. I'm not sure why this keeps happening. One minute we were talking about that plate, the next thing I know you're acting scared around me, and everything else is just really hazy.”

Taking in his comforting scent, comforting touch, she brought her hands around to return the embrace. “You mean...you don't remember?”

“I...guess not? I remember just now we were talking about something,” he said, a hand rubbing her back as he spoke. “But I can't remember what all I said. I can't even think of what I could have said to make you so upset.”

She pulled back a little so she could lift a hand to his face and search his eyes. “What happened to you? I know you hit your head, but could that really -”

“I don't know, Chi,” he said, glancing away and lowering his voice. “This is all really new to me, too.”

Biting her lip, she felt her heart ache even as it skipped a beat in worry. “Goku...”

His eyes shot back to her. “I promise I don't mean to make you upset. Do you believe me?”

“Yeah, of course I believe you. I'm just not sure what to do or think when you start talking to me like that and it scares me,” she said as she brought her hand down to wipe her eyes clear and then try a smile for him. “But you know I'm also worried about you. I know something's off and if you don't know what it is then...I'm scared for what might happen in the future.”

He smiled back at her. “Don't worry so much about it. I'll be fine. It's not like it's the first time I've hit my head.”

“You sure you'll be okay? I can't help but worry about what could...” Frowning, she pulled her arms away from the embrace and rubbed at the area near her wrist. “You're not gonna get violent on me, are you?”

“Huh? No, I would never get like that with you,” he said the words with fervor while he frowned and then tilted his head. “Why would I ever try to hurt you?”

She flinched. He didn't know. He couldn't remember. Or maybe he didn't realize. Such a small thing. But he'd never hurt her before (well, there was _one_ time but that was forgiven because of his year in space). Still. This was different. And with him not remembering…

“Well, I know you weren't yourself, but...” she drifted off, and then held up her wrist so he could see the bruise forming there from when he had grabbed her. “You kinda already did, Goku.”

She watched as his eyes widened as it slowly dawned on him. His hands fell away from her completely, and he stepped back. Horror. He looked absolutely _horrified_ at the evidence in front of him, swallowing and taking a moment before speaking.

“Chi-Chi,” he whispered, “when did that happen? That couldn't have been me.”

“Yeah, I thought you wouldn't remember,” she sighed as she went back to rubbing her arm, looking for a few beats of silence before raising her gaze to his again. “Earlier when we were in our room. You grabbed me and… If you can't even remember this, how can you promise not to ever get violent? I _know_ something's wrong and it's not really you, but...Goku...”

Blinking away tears, she turned her head, only to feel his hands on her shoulders. Light touches. Barely ghosting over her skin, but his intention was true and clear. When she managed to turn to him again, it wasn't to meet a smile but to meet his rare this-is-important face.

“Chi-Chi,” Goku said, his low voice sending tremors through her body. “There isn't a force in the universe that would let me do something like that to you. I remember grabbing your hand and I promise I didn't mean to hold you so tightly. That was only an accident. I would never, no matter the circumstances, try to hurt you.”

As much as she wanted to believe, to trust, her voice still whispered. “How can you be sure?”

“If there's anything I'm sure of it, it's this. I won't ever try to hurt you.”

His voice was steady. His eyes serious, begging her to believe in him. Chi-Chi stared back at him, chewed the inside of her cheek, and then decided to drop her worry in a nod and a smile.

“All right. I trust you,” she said, dropping the smile. “But you realize why this is scaring me now?”

Goku nodded, his gaze softening. “Yeah, I'll try to fix it.”

His eyes seemed to glance around the room before he dove in to capture her mouth in his. Noting that this kiss felt much more natural, Chi-Chi accepted without any worry, letting the intimacy calm her heart. Bringing her arms up, she locked her hands behind his neck and pressed back against him, following him up for as long as she could when he eventually broke away.

His hands traveled from her shoulders to her hips and his low whisper sent pleasurable shivers running through her body. “Hey, Chi, it's been a while.”

“It has,” she whispered before jolting out of the haze at a sudden thought. “Wait. Where's Goten?”

“Doesn't matter,” Goku said as he squeezed the flesh just above her hips, his thumbs digging into her skin. “He left. So all that matters right now is me.”

Even though the words took her by surprise, when Goku leaned in for another kiss she was forced to take it. Not to say she didn't enjoy the touch of his tongue, but she had to break the contact with a hum. “But, seriously, you sent Goten away, right? To Gohan?”

“Yeah,” Goku nodded, eyes shining as he smiled. “I know you don't want him seeing this sort of stuff.”

Laughing a little at his jovial expression, Chi-Chi unlocked her arms and let her hands run down his chest. “Almost sounds like you planned this. Did you miss me that much?”

Keeping his smile, Goku leaned over to nuzzle his face in her neck. “Yeah, but I knew you'd be waiting for me so I just tried not to think about it.”

With a giggle, Chi-Chi ruffled his hair and then let her fingers scrape gently across his scalp. “I take it your headache got better?”

“Hnn. Not much. Still hurts,” he hummed, pressing his lips against her neck. “That feels nice, though.”

“Well then,” she moaned lightly as his kisses traveled and grew, though she kept her focus on massaging his aching head. “I'll keep doing this until you tell me to stop. Maybe I can distract you until that medicine takes effect.”

Goku merely hummed again in response, his teeth coming out to nibble lightly on her skin. Though he kept his face buried in her neck, his hands slid to her sash, working to undo the first article of clothing of the night. Once that was out of the picture, Chi-Chi groaned and reached for the edges of his black tank top.

Thankfully, he got the hint rather quickly, straightening up so he could pull the shirt over his head and drop it to the floor. Before she could react or touch, though, he moved again. In a flash, he had her turned to press against the table, and she put one hand on the table edge in response. Except she didn't really care because he was kissing her again. Long and full and deep and with all the pent up tension from being away training for so long.

One hand went to his hair, brushing it, clinging to it, tugging in reaction to what he did with their kiss. And then he broke from her mouth and she sighed. “Goku...”

“Chi,” he panted. “I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.”

“It's okay,” she whispered, saving her energy for things other than her voice; she let her hand run from his hair to his shoulder, down his chest, resting at the waistband of his sweatpants before she eyed him. “I need you, too.”

A deep throated groan escaped him but he smiled, his dark eyes shining as they stared back at her. “Hey, Chi-Chi, let's go to the bedroom.”

Without any other warning, he suddenly picked her up in his arms, carrying her like it was their wedding day all over again. Of course, her arms locked around his neck – and she let out a little gasp, too, especially when she realized he was now hovering above the ground.

“Oh, wherever you want is fine, Goku,” she said. “With the kids out of the house, it doesn't really matter.'

Goku grinned and then left a sweet little kiss on her cheek before he started making his way to their bedroom. “But you always say it's more comfortable on the bed for you.”

Because he was flying through the house – she didn't have the heart to scold him – they arrived at the bedroom in record time. Goku landed, entered the room, closed the door out of habit, and then walked over to lay her on the bed.

All while she giggled as if seeing him for the first time, always surprised at his small but sweet gestures. “Oh, sweetheart, I love you.”

His mouth attacked her neck with force and she gasped and groaned at the way he seemed to latch on so tightly now, only a little worried not to hear him respond in kind as usual. He was just a little distracted and a little more aggressive than usual, nothing to worry about. It _had_ been a while.

**~!~**

Sitting on a rug covered in various noise-making baby toys, Gohan grinned and held his hands out to his daughter. He sat with his legs crossed just barely out of reach, though he did his best to offer silent encouragement as he watched Pan waver from her place on the same rug. Her chubby baby legs jiggled as she slowly got to her feet, using the mostly-sturdy center room wood table for balance.

“Yeah,” he said softly, smiling as he stared into her wide eyes. “On your feet just like that. Now all you have to do is take a few steps without holding onto anything. Come on, Pan. Come to Daddy.”

Big bright eyes gazed back at him, a mouth opening to babble some sort of attempt at speech. All while she bounced in place. The table shook a little at her movement and Gohan laughed, earning a high pitched noise somewhere between a squeal and a giggle.

“Haha, shh, hey now,” he said, waving his hand in the air. “You'll wake up Mommy. She needs her rest.”

A knock on the nearby window pulled Gohan's attention away from his daughter. Turning his head, he blinked when he found Goten was the one responsible for the window knocking. With a light smile, he shook his head and got to his feet in order to let his brother into the room.

“What's up, Goten?” he said after sliding the window up. “Are you trying to get out of homework again?”

He didn't see any need to mention Goten's strange mode of entering his house. Little brothers could be weird sometimes, especially his. Besides, Goten had probably noticed Gohan wasn't on the ground floor so he had jumped ahead of the tedious method of using the front door like most humans.

“Nah, it was Dad's idea for you to help me with it,” Goten said as he flew in to drop his bag on the table near the little kitchenette before turning his attention to the toddler in the room. “Hey, Pan, are you walking yet?”

Gohan crossed his arms as he watched his brother fly about the room and land near a giggling Pan. “Not really. She's started standing up on her own but walking without help is still a challenge. Wait. Did you say Dad? Dad's back?”

“Did I say that? Whoops. I was gonna surprise you,” Goten said before he shrugged and turned his attention to making faces and waving his hands around Pan to make her gasp and giggle. “Yeah, he's back. Him and Mom started fighting so he sent me here.”

With a frown, Gohan walked over to sit on the rug with the two of them. “Started fighting?”

“Mmhmmm.”

Leaving his brother to entertain Pan, Gohan turned his thoughts inward. Barely twenty four hours back home and his parents were fighting. He had to wonder what could have set them off. Usually his mother was just happy to have his father home, especially these days, and fighting in front of Goten to the point that his brother could discuss it so casually…

“Goten, is that normal?” He asked, turning his frown to his brother. “I know Mom yells at him a lot, but I've never considered that to be fighting before.”

“Well...yeah, it was kind of weird,” Goten mumbled, looking down at the rug and then lifting his eyes to Gohan. “Have you ever seen Dad scare Mom before? Or seen Mom about ready to cry 'cause of something he said?”

“Huh? What do you mean Dad scared her?” Gohan blinked, feeling his frown deepen. “That doesn't sound right at all. She's never scared of him.”

“Well, she is now,” Goten snapped. “He was acting really weird. Mom said he hurt his head while he was training with that cat-guy or something, but I don't get how that has anything to do with it. I hurt my head all the time and I never act weird.”

A gut instinct enveloped him suddenly at the words Goten shared. An instinct to rush to his parents and keep his mom from being alone with - with his dad? He shook his head, feeling sick just at the idea that his urge had been to protect his mom from his father. As if his dad was someone to worry about, to fear.

Gut feeling or not, it was dumb so he took a breath and threw it to the side. “Uhm. Wow. Okay. I don't like the sound of that, but I'm not really sure what to think of it, either. Was it bad? You wouldn't leave if it was really bad, would you?”

And yet his fear still surfaced…

“I didn't really want to leave, but Dad seemed all right when I did. He actually looked a little worried,” Goten mumbled, arms dropping to his side. “Plus, I'm pretty sure it was my fault.”

“Your fault?” Gohan blinked, not liking the image of his happy brother blaming himself for _any_ dysfunction in their family. “Goten, why would it be your fault? You said Dad hit his head, right? And that he seemed fine when you left?”

“Well, they were fighting about whether Pan should be trained to be a fighter like how I wanted to be, and Dad kept bringing up that Mom was training me before he came back to life.”

“Oh...Oh man,” Gohan said, letting out a long drawn out sigh. The age-old argument. What _else_ would his parents fight over? “Neither one of them needs to worry about what Pan does. Videl and I have already decided to expose her to everything and let her decide what she wants to do.”

“Yeah, but, what about me?” At the question, Gohan turned to his baby brother, wincing at the confused pain in those usually bright eyes. “If Mom is so against everyone fighting, why did she want to train me so bad all the time?”

“You know, I don't really know. She never let me train and you remember her original reaction when I asked to take off from school to train for the tournament. It came as a surprise to me.” he sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, maybe it was for guilt or coping with dad's death or she just changed her mind for a while. It could be anything.”

“Coping with Dad's death...” As soon as the words left his brother's mouth, Gohan knew he had rambled too much. “Hey, Gohan, is that why Mom never cut my hair and just kept like this? Did she just want me as a replacement for Dad?”

With a wince, Gohan held up his hands and moved over to pat his brother's shoulder. He really had just been spouting out ideas, but now that the thought was out there...Jeez. He should just keep his mouth shut sometimes.

“Hey, no, you're not a replacement for Dad, all right? Mom just saw a lot of him in you and probably wanted to make sure she raised you like how he would want. Nothing to do with being a replacement, Goten.”

“Really?” Goten asked, looking up. “So you think Dad likes how Mom raised me? Is that why he started that fight to get her to let you guys raise Pan the same way?”

“I guess so,” Gohan mumbled. “Wait. Dad started it?”

“Yeah, I think so. I don't know for sure,” Goten shrugged. “I wasn't paying all that much attention, but it seemed like he started it.”

“That's new,” Gohan frowned. “That doesn't make any sense at all. Sounds like something else is going on to me. You think something's wrong with him?”

Goten huffed at him. “I already told you. Dad hit his head and started acting weird.”

_Right...hit his head._

With a frown, Gohan crossed his arms and hummed a little as he tried to think of the implications. Knocking someone on the head _could_ lead to problems, though most were temporary issues. It felt pointless to suggest his dad of all people go to a hospital. After all, he was clearly functioning fine – just acting strange. A little knock on the head shouldn't mean much for Goku, strongest hero in the universe...right?

“Come on, Pan!” Goten shouted suddenly, snapping Gohan's attention. “If you can't walk then maybe you can fly!”

As his brother lifted the baby into the air, Gohan held up his hands. “Ah – hah, Goten, I don't think she's quite old enough for that yet.”

“I can still hold her though, right?” Goten responded as he continued to lift Pan into the air by pulling on her arms. “Didn't you get in trouble with Mom 'cause you were throwing her in the air a bunch?”

Gohan felt his face blush at the reminder, lowered his hands to shrug. “Heh. Maybe. But that's different -”

“Really?” Goten countered. “'Cause I think I'm actually more careful since I'm not gonna let her go.”

Sighing, Gohan gave in to his little brother and stood back. With Pan giggling like that it was hard to tell him to stop. He'd give anything to have his daughter happy. And there really wasn't any reason to tell Goten to stop anyway. Pan had Saiyan blood. Even if she did fall then she should be fine. Shouldn't be a problem anyway because Gohan trusted in his speed to catch her if there _was_ an incident or Goten _did_ drop her…

“Gohan, what are you doing?”

At Videl's voice, he sat up, broken from his thoughts. “Videl, we didn't wake you, did we? Goten just came over to get help with his homework.”

“Mmm, homework,” Videl hummed disbelievingly, leaning against the door frame. “Didn't you say you were going to try to help Pan walk?”

Though he heard the question, all he could manage to respond with was a shrug. He had decided to trust Goten with Pan, so now his eyes could be caught staring at his wife. And stare he did. She looked even more beautiful when she had just crawled out of bed, her hair tousled and messy, her clothes wrinkled for having napped in them, her eyes still bleary as she yawned her sleepiness away. The thing about having a baby was knowing you wouldn't be getting much sleep, so Gohan tried to give her opportunities to nap whenever she wanted.

Of course, the look she was giving him was enough to make him clear his throat and look toward his brother. “All right, Goten, set her down and let's get to work on your latest assignment.”

“Aw, you're no fun,” Goten said with a pout, though he did actually lower Pan back to the floor rug. “Gohan's a bit of a killjoy, isn't he?”

Gohan barked a laugh at the comment. “Okay, sure, I'm no fun. Even though I've been letting you get away with things for years.”

“That's just it, though,” Goten said. “You used to be so cool. What happened?”

Before he could defend himself, Videl stepped into the room to pick up their giggling baby girl, adding her own sentiment. “I didn't realize he was ever cool.”

Giving his wife a light smile, Gohan spent some time snapshotting the image of his family in his mind. His family. Gosh, where had the time gone. Not too long ago, they were still teenagers struggling through life, love, and school. Now here they were in their own house raising a child of their own. Time just seemed to fly by with no care in the world sometimes. He had to appreciate the little moments.

Little moments such as walking over to kiss his wife on the cheek and poke his baby girl playfully. Even with a little brother semi-whining in the background.

“Goten,” he murmured after a while, “Cool or not cool, Mom sent you here to work on homework and I bet she'll be upset if you don't at least do something.”

“But Dad's the one who sent me here,” Goten whined. “And he just wanted me out of the house so he could talk to Mom. The homework was just an excuse.”

As Videl moved into the little kitchenette, she glanced back at Gohan. “Wait. Your Dad's back?”

“Apparently,” Gohan answered quickly, trying to keep his focus on his brother. “So, _Dad_ kicked you out and Mom didn't say anything at all when you left?”

“Yeah,” Goten answered, giving in and going to his bag to pull out a notebook. “Is that weird?”

“Yeah,” Gohan mumbled. “Kinda feels backwards honestly.”

His thoughts went inward as he walked to a nearby countertop. The very idea of his parents fighting, of his _dad_ being the instigator...it didn't sit well with him. Even if Goten kept insisting it was just because of some hit to his head. It didn't feel right.

Still. He had to take a breath and push it to the side. He wasn't here to fix whatever problems his parents were having. For all he knew, Goten was misreading or misunderstanding the situation. As strange as it all sounded – this was the story from a child's perspective. Maybe when he got a chance, he'd visit his parents and observe the situation for himself.

For now, best just to help Goten with his homework like everything was normal. “Anyway. What're you learning in class now, buddy?”

Goten shrugged, climbing up to the countertop and opening his notebook to a page of math problems. “I don't know. I just write random numbers and stuff and wait for Trunks to tell me the answers.”

“Seriously? Goten, that's not how school is supposed to work.”

“But it works,” Goten said with a grin. “And Mom doesn't care as long as I write in answers. That's just for math, though. I'm pretty good at history on my own.”

With a sigh, Gohan raised his hands in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you do you, I guess. So what are you working on now? Math or history?”

“Math. I just have a few pages left. Then I can go back to playing with Pan, right?”

Gohan spared a glance at his wife and daughter before offering Goten a shrug. “Yeah, maybe. She usually takes a nap after she eats, though.”

“Aw, man,” Goten pouted as he turned his focus to the pages in his work book. “Do you think Pan might be friends with Trunks' new brother when he's born?”

“Huh?” Gohan blinked. “Trunks' new brother? What are you talking about?”

“Dad said something about Bulma being pregnant. That's why they came back.”

Videl lifted away from feeding the baby, eyeing Gohan. She mouthed something at him, but he shrugged because he couldn't discern what she was trying to ask. Though he did have a guess. Drumming his fingers on the countertop, Gohan tried to think about whether the new baby would have been a mistake. Or planned. Vegeta and Bulma did seem to have a better relationship than when Trunks had been born, but it was still strange to think of them – of Vegeta – actually wanting or conceding to the idea of another child.

“That's interesting,” he murmured, thinking out loud. “I didn't think they'd want any more kids. And Bulma is usually good about...well, anyway, that's why they're back, huh? Must mean Bulma is further along in her pregnancy. Vegeta sure wouldn't come back too early.”

“I don't know,” Goten mumbled back. “Trunks hasn't told me anything about it so I don't think he knows, either.”

“Huh. Well then I guess there's nothing we can do but wait and find out. Unless Dad knows more.” At the reminder, Gohan snapped his fingers. “Speaking of Dad, do you think you're supposed to spend the night, Goten? Or are they gonna want you back for dinner?”

“Can I spend the night?” Goten asked, jumping on the offer surprisingly quickly. “It's really weird at home with just Mom and Dad.”

Gohan nodded, grinning back at his brother. “Yeah, sure, I don't mind. And if things really are that awkward right now, you can stay until this little spell with Dad passes, okay?”

He could sense the glare from his wife, but he tried to ignore it. He'd explain to her later. Things sounded like they were weird right now, but it shouldn't last too long. His dad wasn't the type to let a little hit to the head really affect him. Even if Goten was right about everything going on at the house now, Gohan was sure everything would sort itself out in no time.

There was no reason to worry.


	5. Skips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goku feels frustrated because of his new problem of lapsing memories and feelings of being disoriented]

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 5 - Skips 

He woke up groggy, sitting up in bed and blinking at the tousled sheets, the empty place beside him. Light came from the bedroom window through the thin curtains. With a yawn, Goku scratched at his head, ruffling his wild hair a bit as he did. He hummed, trying to recall last night, trying to recall yesterday.

Everything was such a mess of broken memories. From the moment Beerus hit him on the head, to the intimate time with Chi-Chi before bed. Every single moment was hazy, as if he were trying to remember a dream.

Some of it didn't bother him. The fight with Vegeta? He lost himself while fighting sometimes, especially in a newer transformation. That was nothing new. Though the memory thing was kind of different but -

 _But_ -

Time with Chi-Chi was always easy to remember. Except now. And that bothered him, because she'd shown him a mark that meant he'd lost his cool or been too rough. Something he didn't _ever_ do. Something he couldn't _remember…_

Last night was broken up enough to make him worry, too. They started in the kitchen, then suddenly they were in the bedroom. They were sharing sweet kisses, then suddenly she was curled against him screaming his name in the midst of passion.

With a groan, Goku brought his hands to his face and shook his head. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he had a feeling it wasn't over yet. That headache was still there, after all.

Whatever the case, he had to get up and make sure Chi-Chi was okay. If he couldn't remember all of last night, then… Well, he could smell breakfast cooking so that was a good sign. A small sign that everything was still normal, that there was no reason to worry.

He was blacking out, having memory problems. Probably from the hit to the head, considering the headache. It would pass in time. It _had_ to pass in time.

For now, Goku climbed out of bed, tossed the covers to the side, and made his way down the hallway to the kitchen where food was calling him. “Chi-Chi?”

Seeing her in front of the stove, working fast to get as much food prepared as possible, brought a smile to his face. His headache pounded harder as he watched her, though, and he had to put a hand to his head, rubbing at his scalp through his hair.

As if from a far away haze, he heard her voice. “'Morning, Goku. Breakfast is almost ready, sweetheart.”

Closing his eyes against the pain, he took a breath and then opened them to see her hair in his face. Her scent mixed with the smell of breakfast. Her body against his; his embrace holding her close. And her voice in his ears saying something, asking something. It took too long for him to realize he'd experienced another jump to hear what she said.

But he did hold her closer and buried himself in her as he groaned. “Everything feels off to me, Chi-Chi.”

“Feels off how?” She asked, tilting her head back to look at him. “Never mind. Don't worry about it. I'm here for you, no matter what's wrong or what happens. You know that, right?”

Something in her words struck him and he smiled. “Yeah. I know.”

Holding her close, running his hand down her back, he tried to think of the words he needed. How to explain to her what was happening? How to explain that he was jumping forward through the day, missing moments, his memory wiped in the blink of an eye? What had he even said or done since he walked into the kitchen for breakfast? One blink and she was saying good morning. The next… And that _headache…_

Taking a breath, Goku pulled Chi-Chi away from his embrace enough to put a finger under her chin to tilt her head up to make sure she looked at him, her eyes giving him that warm, understanding, but underlying frightened… “Chi-Chi, can I trust you to not let me do anything I'll regret?”

Fear flashed in her eyes and he winced, even as she whispered. “Goku, what do you think you might do? I mean, of course I'll do what I can, but -”

“I've already hurt you once,” he said, trying not to give a glance down to her injured wrist. “I don't want that to happen again.”

“It's okay,” she said back at him, her hand resting on his chest. “It won't. That was only one time, but I'm sure it won't happen again. Now, don't you want to eat breakfast before it gets cold?”

Right. Breakfast. He'd almost forgotten. With a smile and a nod, he bent down to kiss her, letting his hand rest at her cheek.

The headache pounded against all else and though he tried to hang on, his world soon shifted once again.

This time, the pain carried through the blackout and he winced as he reached for his head. “Ow.”

Soft hands were against his own in an instant. “It's not getting worse, is it? Please tell me it's not getting worse.”

“Mm...depends on what you could view as 'worse,'” he muttered. “But it is getting harder to ignore.”

While Chi-Chi rubbed at his head, Goku took the moment to glance around the area and get his bearings. He sat at the table with an empty plate and a glass half full of water in front of him. Had he missed breakfast? Either way, that headache still pounded against his skull, making him grimace. He was losing moments with Chi-Chi, and that – that bothered him. He'd always had the assurance that he could come home and spend time with her whenever he wanted, but now here he was – without getting to enjoy the time.

With a grimace, he looked over at her frown. “Chi-Chi, am I worrying you again?”

Oh, but her hands threading through his hair felt so nice. The scratching against his scalp. Even if it meant her eyes were shaking as she nodded.

“Isn't there something I can do?” She asked. “Something to help you feel better?”

“No, you don't need to do anything, Chi,” he said, offering a light smile. “I can take care of myself.”

_Can you though?_

Her hand moved from his head to his shoulder. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure!” He said, forcing his smile to look a little brighter, forcing his hands to drop down to the table even though the headache continued. “When have I ever been wrong about anything?”

“Uhm. Well.” Chi-Chi met his eyes, then gave a laugh and a shrug. “All right, Goku, just please let me know if I can do something to help okay?”

Before he could respond, she leaned in to land a kiss on his forehead. Warm. Soft. He could practically smell the worry as she pulled away.

Reaching up to gently stroke her cheek, Goku frowned and whispered. “Please don't worry about me, Chi-Chi.”

“I'm afraid I can't help it, Goku.”

Of course she couldn't. That's what she did. Why she was always yelling about him running off to fight or train. Because at the heart of everything, she was always worried about him. With good reason, too. After all, he _had_ died before – twice!

Still, he didn't want to see her fretting over this new challenge. It would pass in time. She didn't need to worry. He'd rather see her be happy.

So, he thought of a simple way to make her happy, giving a smile to help ease her worries. “Hey, do you want to go visit Bulma? I'm sure they won't mind. You two can talk about being pregnant and stuff! It'll keep your mind off of...this.”

“Hmmm. I was hoping to visit her at some point,” Chi-Chi said with a sigh. “Are you sure I can't make a little something for them?”

At the question, the headache returned full force and he had to swallow the urge to groan. His vision faded for half a second as he pulled himself back from the edge. There was some strange sense of wanting to growl, to glare, to be _angry_. Over what? Chi-Chi cooking food for someone else? He whimpered a little, the thought bringing pain with it.

Through it all, he managed to mutter something in response. Something about her not making any of his favorite foods, to which she agreed without a fight. When she left his side to start cooking her special dish for Bulma, he had to focus his eyes on the table. Focus on anything but her. Anything but the food. All it did was bring pain, but he _knew_ he needed to fight that pull to go under, no matter how much the headache flared up. Fight that pull as long as he was around Chi-Chi.

Oh! That's what he should -

“Hey, Chi-Chi?”

“Hm?”

It was hard to hear over the thumping of his leg, the pounding of his head, but he got to his feet and walked toward the door. “I'm...gonna go...train outside for a little bit.”

“Huh? But what about visiting Bul-”

“It won't be for long,” he cut in, holding his hands up. “I just -” _need to get away_ “ - think I need to let out some energy.”

Without waiting for her further permission, Goku practically leaped out of the house. Rushing away, he stumbled through the forest, breathing heavily as he eventually fell against a tree, eyes staring at the bark in front of him. The pounding in his head grew worse and he screamed in frustration, hitting the tree, falling back as it crashed to the forest floor.

Bringing his hands up, he rubbed at his head, nearly whimpering again as his vision began to fade. Well, at least he wasn't around Chi-Chi with all that confusing anger. Anger he had no reason to direct at her, but anger he was worried would… Considering he couldn't remember…

Well, at least out here, there weren't any memories he would be sad to lose.

~!~

Chi-Chi stared out the window as the car moved along in silence. The view changed rapidly as they drove through the country, large sweeping hills giving way to stretches of forest and then open fields of freeway. When they reached the traffic of the city, she heard Goku grunt beside her. Glancing over to see his eyes hyper-focused on the road, on his hands gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, she reached toward him and then let her hand fall to her lap.

They'd been driving in silence for most of the trip and it made her skin crawl. Goku seemed to be struggling to keep his focus and she had to wonder if it had been a good idea to have him drive. Whatever was wrong with him may have been affecting him deeper than she suspected.

“Goku?”

“Hm?” He murmured, quick on the response even if his voice sounded tight. “Don't worry. We're almost there.”

 _I'm not worried_ – she wanted to tell him, but instead she sighed and fell into her seat. She reached up to run a finger down her seat belt, as if to remind herself of the protection she did have, sparing a quick glance to her uncharacteristically quiet husband.

Giving up on conversation, Chi-Chi set her hands on the box, the gift she had wrapped specifically for their visit. She wasn't sure what kind of food Bulma preferred to have when pregnant, but if there was one thing Chi-Chi knew – it was healthy food. Of course there had been that minor incident with Goku…

Before she could finish that thought, the car came to an abrupt stop and she was yanked back into the seat, feeling the belt press against her chest. She opened her mouth to complain to Goku about the rough driving, but had to pause her thoughts at what she saw. At seeing him leaning back, arms drooped down loosely, breathing heavy, eyes closed.

“Sweetheart,” she said, reaching for him. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he grumbled, not even looking at her as he unbuckled the seat belt and stepped out of the car. “We're here. This is what you wanted, isn't it?”

Chi-Chi blinked. “Yeah...”

Since he was waiting outside for her, she sighed and climbed out of the front seat. A quick trip to the back to pull out a basket of more goodies for Bulma. A glance around to see they were parked awkwardly halfway on the sidewalk. But she didn't fight it because one look at Goku showed his eyes narrowed.

“What did you make for her?”

Chi-Chi sighed, rolling her eyes and pushing past his glance to make her way to the front door of Capsule Corporation. “Just some health nut stuff, Goku. Trust me. It's nothing you'll care for, but I did make something for you in case you felt like having a snack.”

Those little lemon cakes were ready to be set in the fridge for chilling purposes. One of his favorites. Just in case.

She was happy to see his eyes brighten up. “Oh really? For me? No one else, right?”

“Yes, just for you,” she said, reaching out to knock on the mansion door. “Unless you wanted to share.”

Goku shook his head. “Nope.”

Rolling her eyes again, Chi-Chi was about ready to lecture him like the child he was being right now. Her mouth shut when he slid close to her side, an arm encircling her waist, pulling her up next to him. Her heart skipped a beat at how close he was, how out of character he was acting.

And then his voice whispered near her ear. “Mine.”

For some reason, she shuddered, wanting to address the oddity, but then Bulma answered the door. “Huh? Chi-Chi? Goku? What are you both doing here?”

Shaking off the sick feeling in her stomach, Chi-Chi forced a smile for the blue-haired family friend. “Hi, Bulma. Sorry to come by without any warning beforehand, but I heard you were expecting. I wanted to congratulate you and bring a gift. I hope you don't mind.”

Handing the gifts to Bulma, she kept her smile as the woman blushed. “Oh, so you heard, huh? Didn't expect that to spread so soon.”

“Well, with Goku coming home earlier than expected,” Chi-Chi said as she eyed her too-clingy-right-now husband, “I'm sure I would have found out sooner or later. I hear Vegeta came back, too.”

“Mmhmm,” Bulma nodded. “He did.”

Something moved behind the blue haired woman and Chi-Chi blinked at first, only to see a rush of light purple hair. Trunks was eavesdropping, then. Not too different from what Goten would do in this situation.

She smiled as she left the boy to his sneaking and turned her focus back to Bulma. “How far along are you?”

With a sigh, Bulma gave a shrug. “I just found out yesterday so I'm not sure, yet. I'll have to have an appointment to help me pin-point exactly how long this has been going on. You know how it is.”

Chi-Chi nodded. “Of course. With Gohan, I -”

“Who's the father?”

Turning in the grip of her husband, Chi-Chi gaped. “Goku!”

“Of course my dad's the father!” Trunks snapped, stepping out of his hiding place to send a glare to Goku. “Who else would it be?”

Goku merely offered a shrug. “Could be anyone, knowing Bulma.”

Bulma's voice rose as she stomped her foot. “And what is _that_ supposed to mean?”

While their friend snapped, Chi-Chi reacted, reaching up to grab two fists full of Goku's shirt. He was still wearing his _gi,_ even if it was an older model since the one he came back in had been torn and needed fixing. She couldn't convince him otherwise this morning when he came back from his moment in the woods. Seeing him in normal clothes was always nice, but sometimes he insisted the _gi_ felt the most comfortable and, well, she couldn't fight him all the time. Still, she wouldn't let it stop her from reproaching him for his choice of words. Tugging him down so she could yell in his ear for such a horrid, disrespectful -

“Goku, that is the most inappropriate thing I've ever heard you say! You take that back and apologize right now!”

Her husband groaned, and then harshly grabbed her hands to rip her grip off of him before straightening himself out and rubbing at his head. “ _Don't do that_. That hurts too much.”

Seeing him rub his head brought back the knowledge that he'd been fighting a headache since yesterday. As inappropriate as his words were, perhaps she had over-reacted. Chi-Chi winced at the thought. She wanted to be helpful, not a hindrance.

Though at least now he wasn't being clingy and possessive. “Oh, sorry, Goku, I -”

As if from somewhere else, a throat cleared. “Chi-Chi?”

Moving her attention back to Bulma, she clasped her hands together, though she still kept them down. “Oh, I don't mean to intrude, Bulma, but can we come in? I'd love the chance to talk to you in a more comfortable setting.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Bulma said, stepping aside to let them in as she turned to Trunks. “How about you go let your dad know that we have some unexpected company?”

Trunks grinned. “Yeah, okay, I'll tell him you needed him, Mom!”

As the kid ran off down the hallway, Bulma sighed. “Honestly, that boy...”

Chi-Chi laughed as she walked into the Capsule Corporation mansion. She was always amazed at the size of the place, at the amount of technological marvels scattered around the rooms and hallways, everything they passed just on the way to the kitchen. It wasn't like she was envious. After all, Chi-Chi loved her little corner in the woods. She couldn't imagine living somewhere with so many places for children to hide. No wonder Trunks wasn't as disciplined.

“Hey, Chi?” Goku's voice next to her, she turned a smile even as she saw the lost look in his eyes. “Why are we here again?”

She had a flash of memory. Of the incident with the plate yesterday. Where he hadn't remembered startling her or causing her to drop the china. Of him being confused at her asking about his sudden aggression.

His headache was messing with him strangely again.

With a patient smile, she gave him a small pat to his arm. “We're visiting Bulma to congratulate her on her pregnancy, dear.”

“Oh, right! I remember now!” His eyes brightened a little and he matched her smile as he turned to his friend. “Congratulations, Bulma! I bet Vegeta's real excited about it, isn't he?”

Leading them into the kitchen, Bulma turned back with a raised eyebrow for Goku. “Well, depends what you consider 'excited'.”

Considering Goku had so recently bugged them about knowing the father, the change in demeanor did seem a little off. Chi-Chi brought a hand up to her chest to feel her beating heart. He was fine, she told herself. He was acting a little strange because he'd hit his head. That was all. He'd be fine with enough time. He _had_ to be.

After all, he'd been injured before; he'd suffered through a heart virus; he'd _died_ and – and he always came back and everything always returned to normal. This was different but she had faith that the end result would be the same.

There was nothing to fear.

So why couldn't she calm her aching heart?


	6. Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goku pushes Vegeta into a fight; meanwhile Gohan arrives at Bulma's with Videl, Pan, and Goten]

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 6 - Rivals

Vegeta may have made the decision to leave the planet Beerus and Whis called home. He may have decided to come home himself, to put Whis' special training on hold. Bulma's pregnancy, the urge to be there this time as opposed to Trunks' birth… well, sure, he was home now. But it certainly didn't mean he was going to stop training altogether.

Any edge he could gain on Kakarot was important. So what if he was back at Capsule Corporation? So what if he was in a place where he could keep track of Bulma, be there whenever the new baby was born? His training was of paramount importance.

And his family knew that.

Bulma left him to train in the gravity chamber. She'd brought him back to Earth and she trusted him well enough now to _not_ expect anything else from him. Trunks on the other hand…

“Dad! Dad! Open up! Come on!” The brat's incessant shouting was distracting as hell, though he supposed that was something all children did. “Mom needs you!”

 _That_ was enough to make him freeze. Enough to make him turn off the program running in his gravity room. Enough to hold his breath and nearly smash the door open as he slid it free.

“What?” He snapped, glaring at the pint-sized purple-haired brat he called son. “Explain. Now.”

Trunks met his glare without flinching, his expression masking any clue to the issue at hand. “She's in the kitchen. She told me she needed you.”

Several options ran through his mind, none of them good. Though he supposed it was possible that everything was fine, Bulma was physically weak to begin with and adding this pregnancy was supposed to make her weaker. If she was sending Trunks to him, then…

“What has that woman gotten herself into this time,” Vegeta muttered, stepping out of the gravity room and then practically racing down the hallways to the kitchen. “Woman! Your brat said -”

Skidding to a stop at the kitchen entrance, Vegeta narrowed his eyes. Bulma was perfectly fine, standing near a counter, turning toward him. Another presence was in the room. Two others. And neither of them were the baby _ki_ he was expecting to feel, the _ki_ he knew he would be able to sense from his wife eventually.

No, it was Kakarot and his wife, who were standing in _his_ house for some reason. “What the hell are you two doing here?”

“They're here to say congratulations because of the baby,” Bulma explained, snatching his attention in an instant. “Also, Trunks knows now.”

_I can tell…_

“Oh, great,” Vegeta growled as he glared toward his grinning son before focusing back on his wife who didn't _actually_ need him now. “Why not invite the whole rest of them and have a fucking party then?”

“All right!' Trunks exclaimed, rushing off past him back down the hallway. “Then I'll call Gohan and Goten!”

Feeling his eye twitch for his son's purposeful dodge around the sarcasm, Vegeta crossed his arms and found himself leaning back against the nearest wall with a scowl. “Woman, your brat is out of control.”

Bulma huffed, ignoring him and turning to the other woman instead. “Saiyan husbands, right?”

“Oh, yes,” Kakarot's wife murmured. “They're quite the handful.”

Vegeta turned his scowl to her, ready to snap something in response about damn Earthling women, but the words died on his lips. Instead, he found himself raising an eyebrow, staring curiously at Kakarot. His rival had reacted to Vegeta's glance in an almost protective manner, arms going around his wife as he glared toward Vegeta. No, wait, not really protective. More _possessive_ than anything. Odd. Not something he expected to see from Kakarot of all people. Not at this point in their friendly relationship, at least.

Shrugging it off, Vegeta turned his focus back to his own wife. “So, what now? Are we actually going to end up with a party of people here? Because your brat is sort of busy calling his friends now.”

Blue eyes met his and then closed as Bulma brought a hand to her forehead and let out a lengthy sigh. “All right. I guess we'll at least be having a small group over here soon. I'll see about telling the bots to set something up.”

At the statement, Kakarot's woman stepped away from her idiot husband and moved closer to Bulma. Their conversation quickly turned to typical female chatter. Food choice being the most obvious. To his slight surprise, Kakarot didn't seem the least bit interested in the discussion of food, sliding up into Vegeta's space without a second thought.

“So, Vegeta,” Kakarot whispered, leaning in close. “Are you absolutely sure the kid is yours?”

An eye twitch was the only warning he gave. Such a statement implying unfaithfulness from the mate of the Saiyan Prince himself… Vegeta lifted his fist immediately to punch the smirk from that idiot's face.

Except…

It missed.

Eye twitching, Vegeta forced himself to be satisfied with a growl, though he could feel a flare up of _ki_ dance through his rival. “Shut the hell up, Kakarot.”

“I will not,” the other Saiyan growled back. “It was a real question.”

“How the hell does that count as a real question?” Vegeta snapped. “Are you that idiotic?”

A flash of anger crossed Kakarot's eyes, followed by an uncharacteristic snarl. “I'm not an idiot, Vegeta. If anything, you're the idiot for not being suspicious at all.”

His body moved, grabbing a fistful of his rival's shirt and slamming him against the opposite wall. “If you insult my wife one more time, Kakarot...”

“What?” His rival smirked, not at all phased by Vegeta's threats. “You're not gonna try and actually fight me, are ya?”

“Vegeta!”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath the instant he heard her shrill voice. _Damn it, woman. Not now._

“Can't you leave Goku be for once?”

A quick glance over his shoulder, voice snapping in a hiss. “Stay out of this, woman. I'm defending your honor.”

“Why do you feel the need to defend her honor?” The smug, low voice of his rival dragged his attention right back to the source of his frustration. “You know, Vegeta, you didn't answer my question.”

Vegeta wanted nothing more than to punch the idiot's lights out. To really wipe the smirk from that face. His anger lashed out regardless, a gloved fist smacking hard into the wall near Kakarot's head. The sensation of punching through a wall was not near satisfying enough.

“Of _course_ I'm the father, you idiot. Who the fuck else would it be?”

At least the smirk dropped from the other man's face, but the clear lack of concern was still frustrating, especially when Kakarot merely shrugged. “Just asking if you were sure is all.”

A growl escaped Vegeta once again, this one forming from the back of his throat and rising up slowly. “If this is your way of asking for a fight, Kakarot, it sure doesn't suit you, but I have no problem taking the chance to beat your face in right now.”

 _Ki_ rising around his rival made him step back and mimic the man. Of course the opportunity for a fight had Kakarot practically bounding away from the wall. Though that damn smirk was back. And something felt _off_ about those eyes.

“Let's go, then,” Kakarot said. “You lead the way.”

And as he turned to lead them out of the house, Vegeta caught the murmurings of his wife talking with Kakarot's woman. Words of, _'he hasn't been feeling well'_ , making the Saiyan Prince glance over his shoulder at his rival. Not feeling well, huh?

Well. That was no excuse for acting the fool. Regardless of the reason for his recent absurdity, Kakarot deserved a beating for the shit he had said. And Vegeta was going to do his damnedest to dish it out.

~!~

A single phone call from Trunks led to Gohan packing his family (plus Goten) into the car. Videl in the back with their baby girl and Goten up front. With Gohan wondering the whole time if his brother's height and size meant he needed a car seat, even if he was a pre-teen now. By legal standards it didn’t matter your age, just your height and size. He'd never force his little brother into something so silly, but it would be nice to know if he needed to try to hide from police or – well – maybe he should ask Krillin the details of those rules at some point.

Either way, they'd made the trip without any incidents. Pan didn't get car sick. Goten followed the rules and didn't bounce around the car too much. And Gohan didn't give any police on the road an excuse to pull them over. (He still wasn't super confident in his driving skills, but he supposed he was good _enough_ ).

Regardless of his worries, they made it to Bulma's, walking up to the large house's front door. He'd been a little preoccupied on the drive, but now as he rang the doorbell, Gohan found himself frowning. He'd felt his dad's energy jump up earlier. And now he couldn't really feel him around here. In fact, he was -

“Guess this is happening after all,” Bulma said, breaking Gohan's train of thought as she opened the door to allow them entry. “Come on in, then.”

Before Gohan could comment, his little brother jumped in, turned to Bulma, gave a quick bow, and then raced down the hall with Trunks, calling over his shoulder as he went. “Congratulations, Bulma!”

Beside him, Videl giggled, sending him a smile before walking in herself. “I hope we're not intruding.”

As if to cover for their near-impromptu visit, Gohan held out a little gift to his blue-haired friend. He had no idea what Videl had decided to wrap up, but he trusted it would be good and appropriate for the occasion. He knew enough to know it was best to leave Videl to handle such things anyway.

Even if he was the one to hand it over in the end. “Yeah, sorry if it's a little sudden. Trunks called and pretty much said we had to come, but then I felt Dad's energy over here so I didn't want to turn down the opportunity, you know. Speaking of Dad -”

“Oh you know him.” His mother. Oh. Right. That made sense. Of course she was here, standing in the hallway, arms crossed as she huffed. “Comes with me to visit and can't spend five minutes socializing without starting a fight with Vegeta.”

In front of him, Videl paused at the information. “Huh? I'm sure you mean Vegeta started it, right?”

“Oh, you'd be surprised,” Bulma said as she stepped past them, leading the way down the hall with her gift now in hand. “This time around it was Goku, which is rather off when you stop to think about it.”

Gohan did stop to think about it, taking a moment to ponder such a revelation. While it was true that Vegeta was usually the first to snap, it didn't necessarily mean he always _started_ their fights. People just liked to assume better of his father, who could actually act pretty childish sometimes.

At the thought, Gohan laughed as they all walked into the kitchen. “Oh, I don't know. I think Dad will annoy Vegeta on purpose sometimes, even if it's more subtle so that it looks like Vegeta's starting it.”

“Oh well,” came his mother's voice, a quiet murmur as she walked to the stove, hands resting lightly on the counter. “It doesn't matter who started it. They're busy fighting now instead of visiting like normal people.”

Heh. Well, of course his mom wouldn't be happy over this situation. After all, if his father had come home from training, she probably wanted to put him back to work. Push him into responsible duties of a _normal_ family household. Except now he was out trading blows with Vegeta. Some training break. Those two just never stopped. Neither one of them.

When the subtle sense of the two familiar _ki_ signals disappeared, Gohan closed his eyes and smiled. That god-like form of theirs really did mark an ascension beyond anything else. It wasn't just beyond Super Saiyan. It was beyond normal mortal reach. Gohan was sure he could have reached it himself one day, too, if not for -

The babbling of a baby interrupted his thoughts and brought his eyes open, focusing on the little girl in the arms of his wife. _His_ little girl. _Their_ little girl. The main reason he worked hard to have a normal life, to further his education, aimed for a real job that would allow him to be at home as much as possible. To give his girl the normal life he never got to have.

Oh, his own father worked for that, too. At least, on some level. Protect the world in the process of making it safe for his son and all… But Gohan wasn't his dad. He loved and respected his father for everything he had done, everything he had sacrificed, but Gohan approached parenting a little differently. Even if the motivation was the same, the paths to meet that end were not.

“So, Gohan,” the voice from Bulma had him blinking away from his thoughts. “How's life with your first kid? Is she as much trouble as any of the other Saiyans?”

“Nope,” Gohan grinned. “No trouble. Eh. Besides the normal stuff, I guess.”

He could practically feel the look from his mother even before her words brought her to his attention. “You're not tossing her around everywhere in your silly games with Videl's father, are you?”

“Ah hah… Mom, it's fine,” he said with a blush and a light laugh. “Dad used to throw me around all the time, didn't he?”

His mother's eyes squinted. “And you wouldn't believe the number of close calls we had with you.”

“Really, Chi-Chi, it's all right,” Videl chimed in, coming to the rescue. “I trust Gohan to keep her safe. He's too strong to let anything hurt her.”

Gohan turned to his wife, meeting her eyes and giving a thankful smile. Lips upturned in response, along with a wink as Videl bounced Pan in her arms. Lightly. Giving the cooing baby a little rocking motion to help her sleep.

Bulma, on the other hand, wasn't satisfied with Videl's response, brushing it aside with a little warning of her own. “I don't know, Videl. Never trust a man alone with your child when they're this young, even if they are your husband. If you leave him unchecked, he can do some pretty stupid things. Trust me. I've had too many close calls with Vegeta and Trunks to count.”

“Oh man,” Gohan laughed. “I'm feeling out numbered here.”

“Well,” his mother said. “I don't think it's fair to compare Gohan to Vegeta, but the things Goku used to do...”

The way she drifted off made Gohan hang his head in partial defeat. “Oh come on, Mom.”

“Oh, I don't mean to compare Gohan to Vegeta,” Bulma said, quickly jumping back in to explain her point. “I'm just saying that all men are idiots who are terrible with children.”

When even his wife shrugged in response, Gohan sighed. He really was out numbered here. Stuck in the kitchen with the women. Too old to play around with Goten and Trunks. And too out of practice to join his father outside in a sparring match, apparently.

“Oh man,” he sighed again. “Why does Dad have to be fighting right now?”

A shift in the air made him glance toward his mother with a frown. Had she just _flinched?_ Unhappy with his father for fighting now, sure, that made sense, but -

“You'll have to ask him yourself,” Bulma said, drawing his focus with a click of her tongue. “He came in here, said some pretty awful things to Vegeta, and now they're off who-knows-where beating each other up.”

“Wait. Really? That sounds off. I mean -” he blinked, turning back to his mother, expecting an explanation. “Mom?”

Except no explanation seemed to be forth coming anytime soon. Her arms were wrapped around herself, eyes focused on the ground, and her voice barely above a whisper when she did speak. “Can we...not talk about that right now?”

“Huh?”

He almost moved to stand by her. Almost. In fact, his hands had raised toward her and his foot had already lifted from the floor with the intent of going to his mother, who was clearly in distress. But then his baby girl started crying and he froze, attention instantly shifting.

Of course Videl looked confused by Pan's sudden outburst, too, even as she tried to calm the baby. “Hey, hey, there, there. It's all right, Pan. What's wrong?”

An instant suggestion bounced in from Bulma. “Do you need to feed her?”

To which Videl shook her head. “No. She's already eaten and had her nap. I can't imagine why she's upset.”

_Right. So what's wrong with her? I know babies can cry for several reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. But Pan is usually quiet and behaved and easy to handle. So, why -_

A sharp feeling hit his senses. A pit settled in his stomach at the sensation. A quick intake of air to clear his head. He had to blink his eyes, shake it off. Even as his body insisted on tensing up and glancing off in the direction he had felt his father and Vegeta earlier. The same direction where those two massive powers were going at it.

Things were beginning to click in his head. Puzzle pieces that had been held up before him suddenly finding a place, snapping together. His father acting strange… Goten _had_ mentioned a parental fight started by their father. And this latest fight with Vegeta started by him. And _then_ his mother acting strange, too. The mere mention of Goku, of his dad, and she closed up, as if hiding something. Or _afraid_ of something.

And now this.

A frown dropped onto his face, eyes narrowing as he swallowed something in the back of his throat. “Okay. Something's wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Videl said, still trying to hush the wailing baby. “Is it Pan?”

Gohan shook his head at his wife's question. Of course she would think Pan. Their girl was the only one crying now. And his mind was still searching for pieces to this puzzle, trying to uncover the rest of the picture.

“Hey! Gohan! Did you feel that?”

A curse left his lips in a whisper. Of _course_ Goten would feel it, too. His brother was too attuned to this kind of thing for his own good.

“Yeah, Goten,” he muttered. “I felt it.”

A shift from the corner of his vision – his mother stepping forward with a hand to her heart. “It's not your father, is it?”

_She jumped to that conclusion fast._

Gohan blinked, tilting his head slightly. “Why would it be Dad?”

“Oh, nothing,” his mother murmured, hand going from her heart to rubbing at her arm in a somewhat subconscious gesture. “Just me worrying.”

Before he could step in to ask more – because that was _definitely_ a warning sign of some sort – Trunks slid into the room to make his own announcement. “Mom, I'm gonna go check it out, okay?”

Without even waiting for approval, the boy was off, energy surrounding him as he rushed out. Goten quickly followed suit, amid cries of _'wait for me!_ ' Gohan sighed. Those two were always three steps from trouble. And today was no different, apparently. Too eager to get into the thick of things without regard for caution.

Videl was the only one to try to shout them down, though. “Wait! Boys!”

When her shouts didn't work, she turned to him, and Gohan gave another sigh and a nod. “Right. Don't worry. I'll keep them in check. Whatever that was...well...I guess we're about to find out.”

A glance back to his mother, a smile to his wife, and then Gohan gave an apologetic shrug to Bulma before chasing after the two troublemakers. He couldn't feel anything else in the air, but there was still something...off. Something that made the hair rise on the back of his neck even as he rushed through the sky. If anything, he was sure another piece of the mysterious puzzle was about to be revealed. He could feel it.

And he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

~!~

Vegeta cursed as he flew around the city’s remains. The place was decimated. Absolutely _destroyed_ and it wasn’t his fault. No, the person responsible hovered in the sky in the distance, bright blue aura shining against the clouds of the otherwise peaceful day. 

Gritting his teeth, Vegeta flew down to help evacuate some of the residents. This was going too far. He’d never seen Kakarot do something so careless. Scratch that. Kakarot could be careless sometimes, that wasn’t hard to admit. What _was_ difficult to see was Kakarot breaking his so careful treatment of innocent lives. 

_That_ was something new. Kakarot almost acted like a true Saiyan now - from the snide insulting comments to the complete lack of care toward a town full of innocent people. Oh - and a certain friend of Kakarot’s lived here with his family, too. Vegeta had noticed the familiar _ki_ signature of that midget flying around rescuing survivors, too. 

Wouldn’t Kakarot know such a detail? Would it mess him up to know a careless blast had caused the death and ruin of _so_ many?

With this new darker personality showing itself, Vegeta had to admit, he wasn’t sure.


	7. Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goten runs into Kakarot]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't responded to everyone's reviews. Just want you to know I love and appreciate you very much and I especially love some of those reactions. You guys make my days better, I swear. I'm being lazy with not responding to everyone individually but I hope you know I love you <3

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 7 - Encounters

Chasing after Trunks so fast after the announcement to their mothers almost resulted in Goten biting his tongue. Something about the way he gathered his energy and sprang away from the ground as quickly as possible. He brought his hands to his mouth even as he did fly away from his best friend's house, trying his best to catch up to said best friend. Guess his flying was still a little shaky, at least lifting off suddenly like he had.

Though he felt justified in being a little off center or slow right now. Goten wasn't used to feeling surges of energy like that. Or going from sensing his dad...to not feeling anything. Even if he did know the god transformations messed with the _ ki _ signals. Still. What he'd felt hadn't exactly fit anything he'd been expecting.

It was almost like a bunch of  _ ki _ had suddenly dropped off, and not in the same way that happened when his dad transformed. So…

“ Yo, slowpoke,” Trunks said once Goten was close enough to his friend. “Took you long enough.”

“ Hey! I'm not a slowpoke!”

Dropping his hands from his mouth, Goten waved them around in the air as Trunks shrugged in response. With a huff and a little pout, Goten brought his arms to his side, letting the wind crash around his face, brush through his hair, and slide down his sides as he tried to maximize his speed. Not because Trunks had called him slow or anything. Just because he wanted to go fast regardless of what his friend thought of his speed capabilities. He wasn't trying to prove anything. Besides, this way was more comfortable anyway.

“ I just wanted to make sure Gohan felt it, too, that's all,” Goten mumbled into the rushing wind. “By the way, what do you think happened?”

His friend dropped his little smirk and faced forward with a frown. “I don't know, but I think it's bad, Goten. Our dads are out there somewhere, too, but I can't find them for some reason. What about you?”

Well, he  _ had _ thought it was because their dads had transformed. But if that was the reason, then why had they done it? And why wouldn't Trunks think of that? Goten had thought it was something they did, something related to how they trained with each other. But Trunks was acting like it wasn't normal, like they  _ should _ be able to feel their dads. Maybe he was missing something. Maybe he should try harder.

Closing his eyes, Goten reached out with his senses to try to locate the comforting presence of his dad. If Trunks said they were supposed to feel them, then...then maybe he should start panicking after all.

“ I can't feel them anywhere, Trunks!” He exclaimed, eyes snapping open wide to look to his smarter friend for ideas. “Are they hiding for some reason? Why would they be hiding their  _ ki _ ?”

“ I don't know,” Trunks muttered, purple bangs brushing just above his eyes. “It's really weird, though. You think we should try to hide ours?”

Although he opened his mouth to respond, another voice broke through the air. From his other side. Turning his head, Goten glanced back a little to see his brother hanging behind, face a mask except for the frown, which quickly made Goten's forming smile drop as well.

Dark eyes met his, the glasses Gohan usually wore these days having been removed. “You two do realize if you're trying to mask your energy, flying doesn't help.”

“ But,” Goten muttered. “How else are we supposed to find them if we can't fly?”

“ I don't think it matters, Goten. We can't find them if they're masking their energy or if it’s the god  _ ki _ messing with things, so maybe keeping ours up as we head out is the best way to get their attention.”

Closing his mouth on a response, Goten faced forward. He guessed that made sense. Well, it didn't make sense to  _ him _ . Everything was starting to get really, really confusing, and his excitement of getting to fight something again was quickly dimming as everyone around him acted like things could actually be  _ wrong _ . At least he could trust Gohan to know what was right. His brother always knew everything. He was even smarter than Trunks.

“ The bigger question,” Gohan continued as he flew up closer, getting next to Goten, “...is what that energy spike and drop was and what it means.”

“ Huh?” Goten felt his eyes widening again. “You don't know, Gohan?”

His brother shook his head and then offered a small smile. “I'm still trying to figure it out. That's why I followed you guys.”

_ Oh. I guess that makes sense. But - _

Goten blinked at a thought, flipping his gaze to his friend who was still the one in the lead. “Hey, Trunks, where are we even going?”

His friend rolled his eyes, pointing off in the distance ahead of them. “Towards the place where the energy spike was, duh. I know our dads were out fighting somewhere, but that felt really weird and I want to check it out.”

“ Yeah,” Gohan said. “I agree.”

Glancing between his friend and his brother, Goten closed his eyes on another thought. He could fly without watching where he was going, after all; he just had to keep himself between the two  _ ki _ sources close to him. It was easier to think if he didn't have the chance of seeing some sort of distraction.

So, if he thought through it all, his dad and Trunks' dad had been fighting. That was what they did know. Their dads were close in power and Goten knew for sure that  _ his _ dad was the strongest in the whole universe. So…

“ Hey, Trunks,” he said, opening his eyes to look toward his frowning friend. “Is it possible that your dad got really hurt by my dad? Like he messed up and didn't dodge something or I don't know, maybe something like that happened and that's why we felt -”

“ No way!” Trunks snapped. “My dad's too strong for that!”

“ I don't know, Trunks,” Gohan added calmly. “Something feels off about this and since we're not able to feel their energy -”

“ Shut up! That's dumb!” Trunks growled. “My dad's super strong, too. You can't just assume stuff like that just 'cause you think  _ your _ dad's supposed to be stronger.”

Goten opened his mouth to respond, only to nearly bite his tongue for the second time that day as he had to suddenly stop his flying momentum. Stop and hover because someone was in front of him. When before there hadn't been anything in front of him at all, now there was…

He blinked as his eyes traveled up the familiar orange  _ gi _ . Torn and bloodied in some places, minor scrapes expected from a fight. But when he met eyes with the person, he froze. Swallowed something in his throat as the words took their time making sense of everything. From the orange  _ gi _ to the blue hair to those eyes that had never looked at  _ him _ like that before…

“ U-uhm, D-dad?”

“ Goten,” his dad said, straight and serious. “Go home.”

“ Dad?” Goten repeated, swallowing again to take a breath 'cause he couldn't look away from that glare. “What happened?”

“ Hey,” Trunks interrupted, having skidded to a stop as well, though he was a little further away now. “What's with you?”

“ Dad?” And Gohan was still on his other side, having done much the same thing as Trunks. “What's going on?”

The glare from his dad shifted to Gohan, giving Goten the chance to float back a little instead of being caught by that scary look. “You get out of here, too. This doesn't concern any of you.”

Gohan seemed to have no problem taking the glare and giving one right back, which gave Goten all kinds of weird feelings in his stomach when he saw it. “Not until you explain what -”

“ H-hey, Gohan!” Trunks interrupted. Again. “Isn't there supposed to be a city over there?”

In a flash, Goten watched energy form into a sphere in his dad's hand. Watched as that sphere of bright yellow energy was pointed toward Trunks of all people.

“ I'm not explaining anything,” his dad said, voice still lacking any of the fun Goten was used to from him. “And if any of you tell anyone about this, you'll regret it.”

Eyes widening at the threat, Goten floated up closer, fists forming as he shouted up at his father. “Dad, no! You can't hurt Trunks! I know you can't… What happened? Where's his dad at? Why won't you tell us what's happening?”

_ What's wrong? What's wrong?! Just tell me what's wrong! _

“ Shut up,” his dad growled, the energy sphere turning to face  _ him _ instead. “You're annoying.”

Heart pounding in his chest, Goten felt his body freeze, fingers shaking as they unclenched from the fists. Breath left him, getting caught in his throat as he let out some confused weak cry. He couldn't believe his dad was actually pointing that at him, actually threatening to -

A gasp escaped him as the energy was actually fired, too. He could see it as if in slow motion, even though he was so close. The heat on his face. The very real shiver of  _ fear _ slinking up from his stomach. Fear and confusion and he couldn't make himself  _ move _ .

Before the blast could hit, Goten was grabbed by someone else. His brother had rushed in to pull him from the blast. Because his brother was awesome and always saved him when he was in trouble and -

Clinging to Gohan's arm, now at a decent distance from their father, he tried to stop shaking. Tried to make sense of it all in his head. Nothing made sense. Nothing… It couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming. Or having a nightmare. His dad wouldn't – Gohan shouldn't have to -

“ Dad, what -” Even Gohan's voice sounded choked up now. “ - what's wrong with you?”

“ H-hey,” Goten whimpered. “That wasn't a real blast, was it? Was it, Dad? You were just testing me, right?”

His dad decided to ignore his trembling questions, instead responding to the other son. “Nothing's wrong with me, Gohan. I'm perfectly fine. Vegeta, on the other hand...”

Feeling like everything was shaking, like this really did have to be some kind of strange nightmare, Goten slowly dropped his grip from Gohan. Slowly floated back, hovering in the sky as he resisted the urge to cry. This wasn't his dad. This couldn't be his dad. It had to be a lie.

Bright golden energy flooded the sky in a sudden burst of power, and Goten blinked his teary gaze away from the man that looked like his father. Trunks had jumped into the Super Saiyan state, golden hair striking into the air, aura flickering around his body as his eyes narrowed and fists clenched. Goten even thought he could spy the shine of tears in his friend's eyes. Well, at least he wasn't the only one.

“ What did you do with my dad?” Trunks screamed as he fired off an energy blast. “ _ Where is he? _ ”

Of course Goku blocked the blast, letting it crash to the earth somewhere below them. “Oh don't worry. He'll be fine. I just had to put him in his place. Do I need to do the same to you?”

Taking a gulping breath, Goten made a decision. Forcing himself into the Super Saiyan transformation, he quickly flew over to hover next to Trunks. He didn't know why Gohan was so quiet, but  _ he _ wasn't going to stand by anymore. He was still desperately trying to search for an explanation, but a glance to his friend made him realize action was needed now. Talking wasn't getting them anywhere.

“ Trunks, we can't fight him like this, but if we fuse we might be able to get some more information out of him, right?” His hands were shaking. A glance to his  _ father _ . A shake of the head and a glance back to Trunks. A tremor in his voice when he spoke. “B-besides, this has to be some sort of game! We just have to play along a bit more.”

With a sniff, Trunks wiped at his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, let's fuse.”

“ No! Wait, you two!” Gohan snapped, flying over to hover between them. “Just go home. Goten, something's wrong with Dad, okay? You need to go back to Mom for me.”

Instantly, Goten was shaking his head and glaring at his brother amid the blurry vision. “No way, Gohan! I'm not gonna go home now! If there really is something wrong, then I want to help. We still have to find Trunks' dad.”

“ Well?” The question came from his so-called father, who was sitting in the air, hands behind his head as if this really was some casual game. “Are you two gonna fuse so we can fight or not?”

“ Goten, I'm serious!” Gohan snapped, his  _ ki _ flaring up. “You and Trunks need to get out of here. I don't know what's wrong, but you both know fighting him isn't going to work.”

Trunks snapped right back, echoing Goten's thoughts. “I don't care! I just want him to answer me! I want to know where my dad -”

As Trunks spoke, Goten glanced around the sky. The blue aura of Goku's god transformation was a little intimidating. A reminder that this was his father, but he shook the voice off. It was a lie. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be real. He didn't know what to do.

He wanted to run and hide. Wanted to fight. Wanted to scream and cry. If he could fuse with Trunks, at least he would feel safe. Would feel like he was doing something useful amid all the terror. Didn't Gohan understand that?

Shaking his head, Goten opened his mouth to echo out loud what Trunks had already said. But then there was another presence. Not a  _ ki _ . He couldn't sense it, but lifting his gaze showed him Vegeta now hovering in the sky between them and the one Goten was supposed to call father.

“ Get out of here, Trunks,” Vegeta said, voice far too steady. “You shouldn't have come out here, either, Gohan, but if you want to help there are some survivors from the city off in that direction. I don't think I need to explain what happened. I'll handle your father for now.”

“ H-huh? What happened? Why is Dad acting like this?” Goten stammered, having to wipe warm tears from his eyes yet again. “H-hey! What did you do to him?”

“ Hey, no,” his father said, speaking over him. “You make it seem like I blew that place up on purpose. They just got in the way.”

At least Vegeta answered him and ignored this strange version of his father that Goten barely wanted to acknowledge at this point. “I didn't do anything to him. Your father is just regressing to his old Saiyan roots.”

“ Huh?” Gohan said as he leaned forward. “What do you mean by that?”

“ For some reason...” Vegeta scoffed. “Never mind that. Get out of here.”

“ No, wait!” Goten shouted, wanting to make sure his voice was heard, even as his heart raced and his mind had trouble keeping up with everything. “If we need to beat my dad back to his normal self then I wanna help! We won't back down, right, Trunks? This is just like with Buu! We won't leave you to fight him alone!”

“ Stop it,” Vegeta growled. “If he hurts any of you while he's like this...”

As Vegeta's words drifted off, Gohan jumped in once again, even going so far as to snatch Goten's hand. “Yeah, okay, Goten, we need to leave. Trunks, too.”

Trunks was already shaking his head when Goten looked at him. “I'm not going anywhere and neither is Goten, right? We're staying this time whether you like it or not.”

“ Yeah!” Goten exclaimed, narrowing his eyes as he looked up at his brother. “All because you're scared to fight him doesn't mean I am!”

The grip on his hand loosened considerably and Goten took the opportunity to flare his  _ ki _ and break away entirely. He didn't really care for the shock he'd seen on Gohan's face. Scared to fight their dad. Of course he was scared. Who wouldn't be? But Gohan shouldn't be trying to run away. Their dad needed help. Something was wrong. They had to fight. Maybe it would help… or maybe this is what his dad was really like after all. Vegeta had said something about Saiyan roots, so…

Well, either way, Goten had made up his mind. As he was, Goku was not the dad he had grown to love anymore. He was someone else.

And Gotenks was going to show him that Goten knew how to be serious, that he wasn't weak, and that even if this was a game –  _ it had gone too far _ .

A nod to Trunks. A memorized set of movements. A chant he would never forget.

_ And then everything became a blur. An odd feeling of fuzziness as he sort of disappeared and a new person was formed. A strange sense of still  _ **_being_ ** _ but not  _ **_existing_ ** _. _

_...but then there was a harsh flash of pain...followed by nothing. Nothing at all. _

~!~

“ _ Kakarot. Your harpy wife isn't going to like hearing what happened here.” _

_ Huh? Vegeta? _

Awareness returned as Goku blinked, glancing around to note his position and those around him. Vegeta hovered in the air across from him, transformed and slightly wounded and battle weary. A glance down, lifting his arms, revealed he was in a similar state. Not too worrisome. He lost himself when fighting sometimes. But…

It wasn't just Vegeta here. Gohan was hovering nearby as well and the look on  _ his _ face made Goku flinch. He opened his mouth. He wanted to question, curious what had happened. The last thing he could remember was being at Bulma's house, having come over with Chi-Chi to visit because…

The headache was his reminder. A hiss of pain as the pounding in his head nearly exploded. He tried to shake it off, hands digging in his hair, but…

“ _...if your wife had any say, right, Kakarot? Typical third class weakling woman, I guess.” _

When he heard the words this time, his world had shifted again. Hands still on his head. Shaking. What was going on? Why couldn't he focus? And why did Vegeta keep insulting Chi-Chi?

“She's not,” he murmured. “I'm...not...”

He wanted to say more but that damn  _ headache _ was still there and…

“ _...typical third class for choosing her of all the females on this planet.” _

Again. It had happened again. And now there was anger in his system. Sparks of rage. Energy forming in his hands. A Kamehameha? When did he do  _ that _ ?

“I didn't choose her,” he muttered. “She -”

The energy dropped away. The headache was back. He wanted to scream at it to go away, to stop this, to stop stealing his memories. Why was this even…

“Damn it,” he growled amid a whimper. “Why does my head keep hurting like this?”

“So you didn't choose your own wife, Kakarot?” Vegeta. Still talking about Chi-Chi. “How appalling. Even for someone of your rank. What could have possibly tied a Saiyan warrior to a weakling Earth woman if you didn't choose her?”

“Shut  _ up _ !” Goku snapped, finding himself unable to handle the massive amount of pain in his head, mixed with the confusion of losing moments of his life, on top of Vegeta's constant insults to his wife. “I made a promise to her when I was younger and I kept that promise! Something someone like you wouldn't understand.”

Too much rage and frustration had built and Vegeta was practically offering himself to take it. So… Fine… As long as that headache didn't rip anymore moments from him, then he'd let some of these turbulent emotions out on his sparring partner.

Energy formed in his hands, the heat of the Kamehameha a wonderful familiarity amid all this insanity. He rushed through the motions, shooting the beam at his rival without any warning. And Vegeta was there to meet him with a blast of his own, two colors of blue and purple clashing in the sky. Almost enough to bring back memories.

“Someone like me, huh?” Vegeta shouted over the sound of buzzing energy. “Tell me, Kakarot. What's so different about us right now? I've kept my promises to my own family and you – well – even you have the blood of innocents on your hands now.”

Through the energy beams, he could see Vegeta giving a nod off to the side. When Goku glanced over, his breath caught in his throat. A city destroyed, practically  _ demolished _ . And that was because of -

He grit his teeth and focused back on Vegeta, feeding more energy into his attack. “ _ Shut up! _ That wasn't my fault! I didn't do that – I – I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“That's just excuses!” Vegeta growled. “But you know, you really deserve the name Kakarot now. You should be proud.”

_ No, I – that wasn't me – that couldn't have been me. There's no way I would let something go that far. _

But why would Vegeta lie about it? Goku didn't have any memory of destroying a city but that didn't mean his rival, his  _ friend _ would lie to him. After all, he'd already hurt Chi-Chi.

Closing his eyes, he fought the tremble in his body. The rage was dimming, the headache retreating to a more distant thrumming in his head, and a new emotion was piling up on top of everything else. Guilt. He'd killed people. Thousands of innocents dead because he'd lost control and gone insane, something he couldn't remember, couldn't explain, couldn't understand.

With a shuddering breath, Goku dropped away from the energy battle, letting it soar past him to crash into a distant mountain. His hands went to his head, fingers digging into the spikes of his hair as he took one shaky breath after another. He tried to get control, but something was blurring his vision, threatening to break from his eyes. So he kept his eyes shut and fought the feeling with everything he had.

He felt so…

...powerless.

Powerless to stop what was happening. At a complete loss. He didn't know what was wrong or why, so how could he even face anyone? An entire city… That wasn't him. He wasn't supposed to be the dangerous one, but, no, he had to face it. He  _ was _ a danger. He had to -

“Dad?”

At the voice, Goku opened his eyes, turned to the side where it had come from. The grip on his hair loosened but he grimaced nonetheless. His oldest son hovered next to him, keeping a hesitant distance, eyes watching so warily as if afraid.

“Gohan? Why are you he-” Eyes widening at a thought, Goku closed the distance and grabbed his son's shoulders. “Where's Goten? Where's your mother? What happened? What did I  _ do? _ ”

“Uhm, I don't… Mom's fine. She's back at Capsule Corp with Bulma and Videl. Goten fused with Trunks and you kinda...” Gohan drifted off as he spoke, eyes glancing to the distant mountain range before facing Goku again. “You – uhm – you're not okay, are you?”

Fear was present in his son's gaze, in the way Gohan's voice trembled, and it sent a thousand sharp pricks through Goku's heart to see it all so clearly. His own son, adult son, scared of  _ him _ . But – at least Gohan was trying. He was trying to understand, still trusting him, still knowing something was wrong and it wasn't normal for Goku to do...whatever he had done.

Letting a tense breath free, Goku pulled his son into a hug. The support and trust meant everything to him, because he was having a hard time trusting himself now. What was he even going to do about Chi-Chi? And Goten? And… what was he going to do about  _ himself? _

“No,” he whispered, slowly pulling back from the hug, finding it hard to face his son at all. “I'm not okay. But right now the most important thing we can do is not tell your mother. She's worried enough about me. I don't want… I don't want her to be scared of me like you are.”

“Okay, I won't tell Mom,” Gohan said, allowing Goku to breathe a little in relief. “Dad, look, I – Sorry. You were just – it's kind of -”

“Hey, don't worry,” Goku said, offering a tight smile. “We'll figure this out. I just – I think I'll need some help, all right?”

“Right.”

His smile stretched into a real one, heart warming to hear Gohan so ready to be supportive right now. “Thanks. Now, where did you say Goten and Trunks were? I didn't hurt them too bad, did I?”

“I don't know. Whatever you did knocked them out in one hit and they went flying off that way so -” Gohan groaned, pointed off towards the mountains, and then hovered away from him. “You know what? I'll go get them.”

Goku watched his son take off, unsure if he should be glad or not. Someone had to check on the boys, but if they weren't even sure the kids were all right… No. He could feel Goten. They were fine. They had to be.

“For the record,” Vegeta said after a while from behind him. “I'm not calling you Goku, but I'll stop using your Saiyan name for now. Best to keep that dark personality of yours down as much as possible.”

A twinge of pain echoed in his head, a reminder that the nightmare was probably far from over. Goku flinched.

_ Dark personality? _

He had so many questions… “What happened to me, Vegeta? What did I do?”

“I'm not sure what happened when the boys first arrived. I was a little busy.” Glancing back to his rival led his gaze to the city ruins down below and he winced, even as Vegeta continued. “Busy cleaning up your mess. You might want the dragonballs to bring back that city, though you'll have to do something about the rest of the world's memory, too.”

Hands clenching up into fists, Goku swallowed and stared up into the sky to avoid looking at the destruction. “I can't believe I did that.”

“Neither can your sons,” Vegeta said. “And now your wife won't know at all, but that secret won't last long. She'll find out eventually.”

Goku took a deep breath and let it out slowly. An attempt to calm himself, even though that pain was still pounding in the back of his head. Without moving his position, he narrowed his eyes and glanced over his shoulder to address his rival.

“Let me deal with Chi-Chi. I know she needs to know, but I didn't want anyone else to tell her.” He closed his eyes, let out a sigh, tried once again to center himself, this time by giving himself a goal to focus on. “For right now, let's just go make sure neither of our wives are panicking. I'll gather the dragonballs and fix this mess after that and then...then I’ll figure something out.”

It was all he could think to do. For now it would have to be enough. Figuring out the rest would come later.


	8. Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Dende manages to contact Goku; later, Goku explains to Chi-Chi what just happened]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes: Yep, Vegeta’s an asshole. He ain’t no best buddy to Goku here. 

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 8 - Worries

Dende wiped sweat from his forehead and turned to Piccolo on the Lookout. They both stood on the edge, staring down at the world below with bated breath. Seeing one of the Earth’s heroes destroying so many innocent lives in a single instant, Dende had found it hard to concentrate on anything else. He just had to stand there and stare, partly in shock, partly in fear.

Goku had  _ snapped _ . 

There had to be an explanation, but for now he couldn’t think of anything to do. He looked to Piccolo for guidance but the stronger Namekian seemed locked in a mass of confused tension, too. If Goku had lost control to such a degree, what could  _ they _ do about it? Goku was the strongest on the planet, infinitely above Piccolo to say nothing of Dende. He was their protector, the one he could call on if there was trouble in the world, but -

But who could save them from their own hero?

“Dende,” Piccolo said into the tense atmosphere. “Try again. I think he’s back to normal. See if you can contact him now.”

“Ah,” Dende licked his lips and shut his eyes, gripping his walking staff in two tight hands. “Right. Let me see what I can do.”

Taking a deep breath to center himself, Dende sent his consciousness out into the world. A neat little mind trick he had picked up from being guardian of the Earth. He could feel everyone on the planet in this state, could talk to anyone if they listened. 

He could feel the energy of a small butterfly floating on the wind right in front of him. With a tight smile, he sent a suggestion to the little creature. It would end up crashing into Piccolo's turbulent  _ ki _ if it kept going on its route, so Dende gently guided the butterfly to have it float off in a different direction, thereby saving it from an early grave.

Next, he reached out to the planet and the people. His senses screamed as if on fire, his heart aching for the senseless death of an entire city gone in an instant. It hurt to feel so much pain from people he was supposed to protect, from the survivors who had witnessed a nightmare. 

But then he found a familiar  _ ki  _ of warmth and goodness and he breathed lighter in relief. Goku was back to normal. Touching his mind for a moment should be easy now.

_ "Goku?" _

_ "Ah - who - oh, Dende, is that you?" _

_ "Yeah, it's me, Goku. What happened?" _

He could practically feel the Saiyan flinch.  _ "You saw that, huh? Sorry, Dende, I wish I knew. Vegeta says it's like my darker Saiyan personality or something. I don't really get it, but I have had this awful headache ever since Beerus surprised me and -" _

_ "You hit your head?" _

_ "Ah - yeah - you think that matters?" _

_ "I don't know, Goku, but if you want, I could try healing you?" _

_ "Oh! Yeah! That would be great, Dende! I bet that would fix everything!" _

Dende couldn't help but smile.  _ "Well come on up and I'll give it a shot." _

_ "Right. Thanks, Dende." _

Before he could say more, the  _ ki  _ signal he had been focused on suddenly changed positions. He knew without opening his eyes that Goku had used his Instant Transmission to jump up to the Lookout as fast as possible. Still, when he did open his eyes and turn around, he wasn't prepared for the sight of the Earth's mightiest hero.

Goku stood a few steps away from him, two fingers to his forehead, frown on his face. His  _ gi _ was torn and bloodied, one of the shoulders completely ripped to reveal the weighted blue shirt underneath. Shortly after he appeared, Goku slumped and sat down, crossing his legs and setting his hands on his knees.

"Oh man," Goku groaned. "I must've used more energy in that fight than I thought."

Piccolo turned and snapped almost instantly. "Considering what you did, I wouldn't be surprised."

Goku winced. "Yeah, I guess. At least Gohan and the kids are all right."

Glancing over at Piccolo, Dende tried to communicate to the other Namekian to calm down. Piccolo clenched his hands into fists and turned around, but no more words spilled from him thankfully. He knew Piccolo could get a little upset and tense whenever it came to Gohan, so he probably hated seeing the young man freaked out on any level for any reason. 

Dende took in a breath and let it out slowly. Now wasn't the time. Going off of Goku's slumped shoulders, drooped hair, and lowered gaze, he could tell the Saiyan felt just as distraught by the ordeal as the rest of them. Probably more so, if it was true he didn't really know what had happened.

"So, Goku," Dende said, sitting down in front of the hero, "What can you tell us?"

As he began working his healing spells, Goku sighed and answered. "I wasn't aware when it happened because my headache made me black out, but I've destroyed that city. And I think the boys are scared of me now."

Dende frowned. "But you don't remember any of the things you did, huh?"

"Exactly. I don't know what's going on. If I did, I would stop it."

"Are you going to use the dragonballs?"

Wounds healed, Goku nodded, giving a smile that seemed way too forced for someone like him. "Yeah. That'll fix the city problem. Then -"

"Then maybe my healing will help with your headaches and this, what did you say Vegeta called it?"

Flinching, Goku stared back down at his lap. "Darker personality. I don't know, Dende. I still have a headache even now. It's just real subdued…"

Still frowning, Dende pulled away from the Earth’s mightiest hero. “Well, hopefully what I’ve done will help a little. Subdued is better than nothing, right?”

Goku’s eyes lifted back to him and the man jumped to his feet with a grin. “Yeah! Thanks a lot, Dende! I guess I’ll just stop by Korin’s and grab a senzu for Vegeta before heading back. It’s nice to know you guys are watching over things, at least.”

“Of course.”

Responding to Goku with a smile seemed to cheer the Saiyan back up to his more usual self, and Dende watched him fly down toward Korin’s Tower with hope in his heart. He could tell Piccolo stood behind him, also watching. That was all they could do for now. Watch.

Watch and hope things would work out. 

~!~

No matter how many times Chi-Chi told herself she was worrying too much, she couldn't shake the feeling that something awful had happened. Motherly instincts crawling up to the forefront of her mind because her babies were in danger? Or just a fear of the worst eating her up inside? To say nothing of the emotions destroying her when she thought of Goku.

She could still see the horror on his face when she'd shown him the injury he had caused. Small or not, he'd done it  _ unknowingly _ . That much she was certain of without any doubt. This headache problem had intensified into a bigger issue, too. The way he had acted around Bulma and Vegeta, asking the most awful of questions, egging Vegeta into a fight. His sparring and friendly bickering with Vegeta was normal enough, but the  _ way _ it happened this time left Chi-Chi shaking even as she made an effort to stay calm.

Something was wrong with her husband.  _ Very  _ wrong. He had said things felt off. His memory was clearly falling apart, or he was blacking out entirely. Losing moments…

Chi-Chi frowned as she sat at a table in Bulma's kitchen, ignoring the looks from the blue haired woman, hardly paying attention to Videl and Pan. Her granddaughter was in the room and yet all Chi-Chi could do was sit and fret about what might be going on elsewhere. Fret about how her precious time with Goku might be shortened even more for an entirely new reason.

At least, that was all she could do until a new visitor practically broke the door down. Hearing the noise, all three women shared a couple glances and then raced down the hallway to the front door. Fear and worry for her boys fled her mind as Chi-Chi rolled her sleeves up and prepared to take on this unknown attacker. She was the best one for defense with Bulma pregnant and Videl carrying a baby, so she had to focus her mind and step up, no matter how much her heart ached right now.

Reaching the entryway and fallen front door, Chi-Chi froze in her steps. That was no random attacker. It was Krillin. And he was holding a young Marron on his back. Everything raced back into Chi-Chi's mind at the sight of the bruised and bloodied state of the old family friend. It felt like the rug had been ripped out from under her feet.

“ Bulma!” Krillin said as he stepped up to the blue-haired woman. “I need your help.”

“ What? My help?” Bulma exclaimed. “Krillin, what happened out there?”

Krillin shook his head, short black hair barely waving at the motion. “I don't know. I really have no clue, but you're the only one who can help Eighteen.”

_ Help who? Eighteen? Of all people? What is going on? What happened out there? Goku… _

Shaking her head to focus her thoughts, Chi-Chi decided to let her motherly instincts take control. Not to worry about her boys. She had to believe that they could handle themselves for now. Instead, she should be more attentive to the poor child right in front of her. If Krillin needed to rush out to help his wife, then someone needed to watch the precious little girl, who looked to be passed out on her father's back right now.

“ Where is she? She's not hurt somewhere, is she?” Chi-Chi asked as she moved to pick up the blonde haired girl. “If that's the case, I'll take Marron for you and you two head out right now.”

“ Right. Thanks, Chi-Chi,” Krillin said as he handed the sleeping girl off to her; though Marron was eight or nine now, Chi-Chi could still hold the young girl in her arms with her asleep like this. “Eighteen says she's all right, but she's having trouble moving and she says it's connected to the cybernetic part of her. At least she's awake, though. She's looking after all the other people from the city. Vegeta helped us find any survivors but he wouldn't expla-”

“ What do you mean ' _ survivors'?”  _ Videl interrupted. “What happened out there? Did you see Gohan?”

_ Gohan… _

Chi-Chi shook her head again. No, she couldn't worry. She needed to put her attention elsewhere. Gohan was a grown man now. An adult. He could handle himself.

_ Oh, but… _

“ No, I didn't see him,” Krillin said after a moment of confused silence. “And like I said, I don't know what happened and Vegeta wouldn't explain anything. But, uh, the city's… it's gone. It's been completely wiped out save for a few that we managed to save. Eighteen got hurt protecting Marron, but I'm sure Bulma can help.”

Bulma nodded. “You know I will. We can bring her over here and I'll take a look and figure out what needs to be done. I'm sure I still have those blueprints.”

Although Bulma was quick to respond, Chi-Chi found her breath caught in her throat. Hard to breathe. Pain in her chest. A deep ache of fear and worry and thoughts running at a million miles an hour.

“ The city's gone?” she whispered through dry lips. “Who could have…? What about Gohan and Goten? If Vegeta was there, why wasn't Goku? He should have been there helping, too, if Vegeta was there.”

Her granddaughter hiccuped in the midst of all the questions. A hiccup amid cries. The wailing had stopped but Pan was slow to calm completely, even as Videl rocked her lightly in her arms. Chi-Chi sent a worried glance to the baby before focusing back on Krillin as they waited for an answer.

“ Krillin,” Videl said into the simmering silence. “None of this seems right. What's going on?”

The short man looked between them both with a raised eyebrow, lifting his hands helplessly. “I don't know. I just know what I saw. Look, it's all right. For all we know the others are fighting off whatever destroyed that city or maybe they're there helping as well and I only saw Vegeta. We don't know for sure.”

Before anyone could press for more, Bulma walked over to a nearby dresser, pulled out a container of capsules, and selected one as she turned to Krillin. “Well, no use standing around talking about it. Come on, Krillin. Your wife needs our help, doesn't she?”

“ Yeah,” Krillin nodded.

The two rushed out of the house then, leaving Chi-Chi to hold Marron with even more questions than she had originally. A sick feeling was settling into her stomach. A deep worry turning her insides.

“ Oh, Gohan,” Videl murmured. “Please be safe.”

Glancing to her daughter-in-law, Chi-Chi frowned and then moved her gaze to the nearest window. “I really wish I knew how to sense everyone like they do.”

A murmured affirmative from Videl and Chi-Chi sighed. She didn't necessarily want to train with them or anything. Fighting wasn't really a passion for her the way it was for Goku, after all. But sometimes she did wish to know their little tricks. Would it help her fears to be able to feel the  _ ki _ of her boys, or would it only aggravate her worries?

Shifting Marron in her arms, Chi-Chi walked down the hall to find a nice quiet room to lay the sleeping girl. A fleeting thought crossed her mind as she brushed back the soft blonde bangs from the child's forehead. An old wish for a girl of her own. A wish better left in the past. Not that she was too old for another kid or anything. She still had some years before  _ that _ would happen. But it was so unlikely at this point that it was better to forget the old dream.

After all, she loved her boys and she wouldn't wish to change anything about them. Except maybe their fighting love and tendency to fall into danger. She sighed again as she laid Marron on a couch in one of the rooms she had found.

The poor girl was out like a light. She probably had seen far too much for her age. Such traumatic experiences could really cause problems for children, either right away or later down the road. Well, Gohan had turned out fine after all he'd been through. It was a miracle Gohan and Goten hadn't been scarred by all they'd seen and suffered as a child. Hopefully, Marron could pull through in the same light.

“ Chi-Chi? Are you in here? You're not hurt are you?”

She gasped at the voice. Her husband had returned. Standing up and turning around to face him, Chi-Chi smiled at the presence of her husband standing in the doorway. Only to drop into a frown at the look she could see on his face, the shadow in his eyes.

“ Goku,” she said. “What happened? Krillin came here saying his city was destroyed. Where's Gohan and Goten? They're okay, right?”

“ That was Krillin's -” The eyes widened, then flinched and turned away. “It's all right. They're all right. Gohan's looking after the boys right now. They should be on their way here in no time.”

Hearing good news at last, Chi-Chi felt her shoulders release their tension as she tried another smile. “Well, that's good. I'm glad everyone's safe.”

“ Yeah,” Goku murmured. “Safe...”

Something in his voice, in his mannerisms, set off warning bells in her mind. She pushed them aside. He had told her everything was all right now. They could relax. Whatever had happened, they could breathe and work to fix it. No reason to fret.

His eyes didn't show the same bright hope she was used to or expecting, though. Dim. Glancing around as if avoiding her. Hesitating. A darkness hovering over him, making him slow to act.

“ Chi-Chi,” he cleared his throat and then sighed. “Chi-Chi, I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to be scared.”

Her smile dropped. “Why would I be scared? Goku, sweetheart, what really happened out there?”

Mouth twisting into a grimace, Goku glanced over his shoulder as if checking to make sure no one else was around. When she stepped toward him, hand reaching out, his eyes turned back to her and then moved to the sleeping girl behind her. Slowly, ever so slowly, eyes came back to hers, meeting her gaze as he took a breath and whispered into the space between them.

“ It was me.”

The words hit and Chi-Chi pulled her hand back only to step toward him. There had to be some mistake, a misunderstanding. She opened her mouth to say as much, except he didn't let her. His words came crashing out, amid a growing sense of panic and frustration and...something else.

“ I destroyed that city, Chi-Chi. I don't  _ remember _ any of it, but I know it happened. The boys tried to help Vegeta and stop me, but...” his voice choked up, drifted off, his eyes dropping to stare at the ground, hands clenching in helpless fists. “I threatened Goten, and Gohan had to save him from me. There's no telling what I would have done if Vegeta didn't snap me out of it.”

“ You...” Finally she managed to interrupt, to get his eyes on her again, but everything felt trapped in her throat. “Goku, why… why would you do all that?”

“ Chi, I don't know. I really don't know,” Goku breathed, looking torn when she took a step back, his next words sounding rushed. “There's something wrong with me, but don't worry. I can fix all of this.”

“ You threatened Goten,” she whispered, letting the information sink in before continuing. “Fix it? How?”

“ I don't know,” he admitted. “But I will. I promise, Chi-Chi. I won't hurt anybody else, especially not our family.”

“ I – Goku, I want to believe you. I want to believe it'll all be okay, but...”

A tremor in her voice made it impossible to continue and Chi-Chi glanced back, trying to look away from him. To process the fact that he had actually threatened his own son. Hurting her, almost hurting Goten… It wasn't just a memory problem, was it? Then what  _ was _ the issue? How did they fix anything if they didn't know  _ why _ it was happening?

Her eyes found Marron, the precious little girl of Goku's best friend. A child who now had to deal with a traumatic incident because of Goku. Because of her husband. A familiar sickness hit her stomach. The air closed in around her, vision fading. Knees weak, Chi-Chi fell to the floor, hands pressing into thin carpet as she tried to gasp for breath while also trying hard not to cry.

His presence hovered over her, like he was afraid to touch. Afraid to be near her. She didn't flinch or turn away from him. Whatever she thought of him right now, she wasn't scared. She refused to be frightened of her own husband. Especially when he was so clearly suffering to understand himself, suffering because of what his hands had done without his control.

“ Chi-Chi,” he said. “I'll figure this out. I've never broken a promise before, remember?”

“ Yes, you have.”

The words came out harsher than intended and she looked up in time to see him flinch back. The torn emotion on his face, in his eyes. Usually so bright and cheerful. Now...shaking. She may not be scared, but he was. Scared of himself.

“ Goku,” she murmured, voice as soft as she could manage, hand reaching to touch his cheek. “Don't promise me this time. Just… Please don't hurt the boys. They love you so much. I'd hate for them to lose that.”

His lips twitched, as if her words had touched him and he wasn't sure how to react. She saw a foggy shine in his eyes and then his arms came around her. A warmth – a familiar, calming warmth – held her close and Chi-Chi relaxed in the embrace, ignoring the tension she normally did not feel from him.

“ I won't, Chi-Chi,” Goku said. “I could never hurt them.”

Tears hit her eyes and she buried herself in his pine tree smell, clinging to his torn orange  _ gi _ as she cried against him. Too many emotions to deal with all too suddenly. Too much mystery behind this new ailment. Memory loss. Destructive tendencies. Regardless of the danger he may pose now, Goku was still trying to fight the problem. And he needed her. He needed someone to believe, even if he didn't. Him constantly repeating that he would fix it all, that everything would be fine, was both a way to reassure her and a hidden cry asking, begging for her support.

So, she swallowed her nerves and returned his embrace with everything she had. “I trust you.”


	9. Tensions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Gohan talks to Goten and Trunks; Videl learns more of what happened]

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 9 - Tensions

As he flew away from his father, Gohan released a tight breath in one single rush. Feeling his shoulders relax, he tried to make everything else unclench as well. It was hard to do.

His mind was still a whirl with everything he had just witnessed. With what his own  _ father _ had done. Oh, sure, he had no issues saving Goten, but once he'd moved his brother to safety the realization had clicked. That blast had come from his father. A blast that could have killed Goten if he hadn't stepped in so quickly. Thankfully, he had those fast reflexes, especially when it came to protecting his little brother.

On top of all that, those things Goku had said… things that didn't sound like him at all. Vegeta had said something about his father regressing to his Saiyan roots and while Gohan could believe that, he didn't  _ want _ to believe it, regardless of the evidence in front of his face.

The odd mannerisms of his mother. Goten's comment the other day about Dad starting a fight. Bulma claiming Goku had been the one to push Vegeta into a fight today.

And then there was the city…

But…

But watching his father fight Vegeta, he'd noticed something. With Vegeta constantly bringing up Chi-Chi and the third class insult, Goku's reactions had switched. Sometimes it was a subtle change. Sometimes it was a stark difference.

Gohan couldn't explain it. Watching his dad snap back and forth like that… like watching two people having a tug of war of control.

His thoughts drifted on until he felt a familiar splash of energy, a reminder of his current goal out here in the first place. He needed to check on Goten and Trunks. And  _ that _ was Goten's energy.

Smiling to himself, Gohan floated down to where the boys were sitting in the rubble of a mountain crag. Rocks and dust littered in their hair and clothes, a few scratches on their skin from the harsh landing, but otherwise they seemed fine. A little shaken maybe, but so was he.

“ Hey, guys,” he said, landing close to the two of them. “You both look like you're okay. Rough landing?”

Purple eyes rolled as Trunks muttered. “Yeah. You could say that.”

At least Goten was more enthusiastic, grinning wide as he looked up from his seated position. “Hey, Gohan! Do you know what happened? Trunks and I can't really remember. And where are our dads?”

Wincing, Gohan pointed over his shoulder. “Back that way. It's okay now. Dad seems like he's back to normal thanks to Vegeta.”

“ Yes!” Trunks grinned and jumped to his feet. “I knew my dad would win! Isn't that awesome, Goten?”

Looking to his brother, Gohan frowned. Things didn't look good. Apparently, Goten was shaken up by what had happened, his bright demeanor dimming as he followed Trunks to his feet. Gohan sighed. He couldn't really blame him, either. Back to normal now or not, something was definitely wrong with their dad. Something he couldn't understand or explain.

“ Yeah, great...” Goten mumbled before looking up to him. “Gohan, has Dad ever been like that before?”

“ No, this is new,” Gohan said. “And I'm not sure it's over.”

There was so much to think about, so much to worry over. What had happened? Why was Dad acting so out of character? Having to be snapped out of it. Like a raging Super Saiyan, except not really. He had seemed perfectly lucid. What did  _ that _ mean?

He glanced down to his little brother and grimaced again. Goten was too young to be dealing with this. How old was he? Ten? Eleven? Gosh, Gohan had beaten Cell around that age. But he'd had Dad around during the tumultuous fighting, or most of it at least. Dealing with Mom after the battle had been one of the toughest things, too, but in a way necessary for both of them to work through the issues of losing Goku for good.

Except now his dad was back and something was wrong with  _ him _ . It wasn't some villain they had to fight. Not some lookalike pretending to be their father. No, it  _ was _ Dad and he was the strongest being on the planet. With the new volatile personality that could spell bad things for his mom in the future if this problem wasn't remedied, if his dad  _ snapped _ again.

But what could he do about it? He couldn't hover around looking for a problem. What if his dad was fine now? Then there wouldn't be an issue and he'd be waiting for days for nothing. Days he didn't have time to waste. His wife and daughter needed him, too.

Biting his lip, Gohan knelt down in front of his brother, setting hands on Goten's shoulders. “I need you to watch over Mom for me, okay?”

Wide, dark eyes lifted to face him. “H-huh?”

“ Even if he snaps again, I don't think Dad will do anything to her,” he reassured quickly. “It  _ was _ because of Vegeta constantly bringing her up that he came back to normal. But, just...just watch them closely for me over the next couple days, okay?”

Tears shined in Goten's eyes even as he gave a shaky nod and reached up to push at the forming tears with the flat bottom of his palm. Gohan's heart wrenched a little to see the emotion from his normally happy and upbeat little brother. He almost took back his request, took back the weighty responsibility.

Almost.

“ He really was gonna blast me, wasn't he?” Goten sniffed. “All of that was real, wasn't it?”

“ Yeah,” Gohan whispered. “Yeah, I think so.”

Taking a breath, he pulled his brother into a hug. Squeezing tightly and then releasing to rub his back. Much like he had when he was still living at home, when Goten was younger. All those times he'd had to comfort him because Mom wasn't available and Dad wasn't there at all to fill in the gap like he'd been for Gohan at those younger ages.

“ Look,” he said. “We have to be strong. Both of us. For Mom. We'll figure out what's wrong and do whatever we need to do to fix it.  _ This isn't Dad _ . Remember that.”

His little brother hugged back fiercely. “I'm scared, Gohan. I can't fight Dad alone. He's too strong.”

“ I know, I know, I'm not expecting you to fight him,” Gohan said, taking a breath before continuing. “Just keep an eye out. I don't think he'd do anything to Mom even if he's like that and he shouldn't do anything to us either. Just listen to him if he does snap again and come get me as soon as you can, okay?”

“ Yeah, okay,” Goten nodded as he pulled away from the hug, wiping his eyes free of the tears. “I'll do my best, Gohan.”

With a smile, Gohan nodded and then got to his feet, glancing over at Trunks. The other boy had stood there watching them in polite silence and when he met his gaze now, the lilac eyes turned away.

Groaning, Gohan rubbed at the back of his head. He was too busy dealing with his own conflicted emotions. He'd done his best to reassure Goten without giving false hope, but...what was Trunks thinking about the whole ordeal? Trunks had the power to influence Goten in ways Gohan couldn't.

“ Hey, Trunks,” Goten said, turning to his friend as if on cue. “I bet you wanna see your dad, don't you?”

“ Yeah!” Hovering above the ground, Trunks pointed back toward West City. “Let's go and see if we can meet up with them before they get home.”

Goten nodded, lifting into the sky as well, sending a quick glance to his brother. “I'll only go if Gohan comes. I don't wanna run into my dad alone.”

Of everything Goten had done and said so far, that one hit Gohan the hardest. His brother didn't feel safe around their own  _ father _ anymore. The knowledge made him freeze in place for a moment, shaking his head before joining the boys in the air. They took off in silence, leaving each other to their own thoughts as the wind rushed through their hair and the smell of sulfur and ash slowly dropped away from their senses. And when Gohan searched his own feelings on the matter, he realized he had a bitter pill to swallow. Because deep down, he didn't trust his dad, either.

~!~

Now that Pan had calmed down, Videl smiled down at her wide-eyed but quiet daughter. The girl was usually so well behaved. The sudden outburst had come as quite a shock.

Not to mention the strange power the others had sensed. Gohan and the boys running off at the first sign of trouble. Krillin showing up later with Marron unconscious or asleep, no doubt shaken by whatever she had witnessed, and then he'd gone rushing out with Bulma. Goku and Vegeta had come in even later, wounded from some fight but otherwise fine, nothing to worry about too much, though they did hold very little information about the others.

Goku had gone off to Chi-Chi almost instantly, seeming worried about something, barely giving her any thought as he ran off to his wife. Vegeta, on the other hand, had found a wall to lean against. They met eyes once or twice, but the silence between them was certainly deafening in its own right. A silence that made her glad to have Pan still making  _ some _ noise, even if it was only baby babbling.

At least until Goten slammed the door open on their otherwise peaceful quiet. “Where's mom? Is she okay?”

“Quiet,” Videl hushed in reaction to the boy's panicked shouting, but then she blinked and realized Goten was the only one walking through the door. “Wait, is Gohan with you?”

Instead of giving her an answer, the miniature Goku walked around as if ignoring her. And then Trunks walked in shortly behind, but still no Gohan. Videl pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, even as Trunks flew three feet to stand in front of his dad.

“Dad!” Trunks exclaimed, close to the same panic as his friend. “Hey, where'd Mom go?”

For his answer, Vegeta grunted and shrugged. Oh, right. They had come in after Krillin so none of them would know where Bulma was, but before Videl could barely open her mouth to give them the information they were desiring, Gohan showed up, a hand on her shoulder as he smirked at her.

“Hey,” Gohan said, his voice much calmer than the little boys. “You weren't worried, were you?”

At first, Videl smiled back, but then narrowed her eyes and spat back at his too-calm demeanor. “Yeah, I was! You idiot! Why was it taking you so long? Krillin came in here talking about his city being destroyed and he hadn't seen any of you.”

She mumbled on about being worried, but Goten sprang towards her at the knowledge. “Krillin's here?”

Videl shook her head. “He was but he left with Bulma. Apparently Eighteen was hurt or having some issues with her cybernetic parts and they needed Bulma's help.”

Gohan squeezed her shoulder. “Krillin was in that city?”

Videl nodded. “Yeah. Why? Is that important?”

“Oh man, Dad's gonna be...” Gohan drifted off, then cleared his throat, not even bothering to answer or explain. “Speaking of Dad, he's here, isn't he? With my mom, I guess?”

Vegeta grunted and decided the information spilled was all he needed to make his exit. Meanwhile, Trunks kicked back with his hands behind his head. “Whoa. That's a lot to take in.”

Before Videl could process the reactions and ask Gohan to explain, her little brother-in-law walked up, looking uncharacteristically nervous now. “Videl, you might want to get Pan out of here. Dad's here, right?”

“Huh?” Videl blinked. “How come?”

“Goten,” Gohan jumped in. “It's fine. Why don't you go check on Mom for me?”

Goten pouted up at him, tiny child eyes glancing at the baby in the room. “But...”

Gohan shook his head, then turned attention to Videl, his hand never leaving her shoulder. “Videl, I'll explain later, but it might actually be best to just go home at this point.”

“Yeah,” Trunks said into the confused startled silence. “You might want to get as far away from that guy as you can. There's no telling when he's gonna snap again.”

“What?” Videl whispered, turning from Trunks to Goten to Gohan. “You guys can't be talking about Goku, can you?”

The tension and squeezing of her shoulder was all the answer she needed, but Gohan whispered the affirmation into the air anyway. “Yeah, actually, we are...”

“He went crazy,” Trunks said, the only one acting casual about the information drop. “Good thing my dad was there to stop him, though.”

“Shut up, Trunks!” Goten snapped. “You can't say that sort of stuff about my dad!”

“What? But it's the truth. He went crazy! You were there, Goten. You saw what he did.”

“I said  _ shut up _ !” Goten shouted, energy building around him. “I don't care if it's true. You don't get to talk about him like that.”

Holding his hands up defensively, Trunks took a step or two back away from his friend. “Whoa. Okay. Chill. Sorry.”

Bouncing her eyes between the boys, Videl glanced up to her tense husband with a frown, still looking for answers. “What's going on? What am I missing?”

Instead of answering like she wanted, Gohan sighed and focused on his brother, which she supposed was fair. “Goten, this isn't going to help.”

With a breath, Goten appeared to relax only to turn around and head for the door, speaking over his shoulder. “I'm gonna go fly around for a bit. Sorry, Gohan, I'm not gonna help right now.”

Videl tried to get a grasp on the situation, wondering what all the fuss was about, why were the boys fighting, why was Goten so upset…. The questions and concerns flooded her mind and still no explanation seemed forthcoming. A glance to Trunks to see the boy staring off at where Goten had disappeared, staring down the hallway with a frown. A glance to the window, seeing a flash of black and bright orange, a sign of Goten flying off.

Then with a sigh, her gaze turned back to Gohan. Looking to her husband for answers, found herself lost and longing once more. His eyes seemed distant, thoughtful, like his brain was working through possibilities and outcomes of some difficult problem. His forehead crinkled, he frowned, one of his cheeks sucked inward in a sign that he was chewing on the soft skin in his mouth. Clearly, Gohan was still trying to figure everything out for himself so any kind of answer would take its time.

Only, once the point of contention, Goku, walked into the room, everything around her tensed. The very air seemed to grow thick as the Saiyan warrior walked in from the other side of the room. Having come from another direction, Goku blinked and glanced around, as if searching for the cause of tension, unknowing of the fact that his entrance had brought the sense of hovering doom into the air, no idea that his presence was the issue at hand here.

“Hey, is Goten all right?” Goku asked, wild hair bouncing slightly as he turned his head back and forth. “I thought I felt his energy around here.”

Videl opened her mouth to respond, but Gohan beat her to it, an arm around her protectively. “Yeah, he's fine. Well, no, he's not, but he will be fine eventually. He's just letting off steam right now. Anyway, how's Mom doing?”

Goku sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “She's fine. She's just keeping an eye on Marron right now.”

From the corner of her eye, Videl noticed Trunks take a quick step away from Goku. Of all the people to be scared of… she found the missing information to be driving her insane. Goku was their sweet protector, the somewhat silly father of Gohan to complete his strange little country alien family. Whereas Vegeta and Piccolo created an atmosphere that made it understandable if a child wanted to back away, Goku was the opposite. Open, warm, friendly, nothing to fear.

So why did Trunks back away when Goku stepped closer? Why did Gohan tense up like a spring when his father walked over? Goku was all smiles as he leaned down to get a good look at the quiet but observant baby in Videl's arms. Well, of course he would smile at his granddaughter. What was everyone worried for?

“How is Pan doing?” Goku asked into the thickness. “It's been a while since I've gotten to see her.”

Videl blinked and tried to smile back like everything was normal, since she still had no real reason to believe otherwise except for the strange reactions of those around her. “Oh, uhm, she's fine. What about you?”

She kept an eye on him, observing every little twitch in his shoulders, in his smile. His gaze lifted to Gohan, who remained unmoving beside her, but then quickly shifted back to the baby girl. For her part, Pan giggled and reached out as soon as her eyes found her grandfather.

“Hey, Pan! You wanna be held by Grandpa?” A quick look to Videl as if to ask permission, and a nod allowing him to take her baby girl out of her arms, much to the delight of both the grandfather and granddaughter in question. “Look at you! You're gonna be super strong one day, aren't ya?”

Although Videl kept her eye on those two, she did notice Trunks creeping up closer. The lavender-haired child walked up to Gohan, arms crossed casually but keeping a certain distance from Goku all the same. With a hand at her chest, Videl frowned at Gohan, still searching for some direction because besides the thick air, everything felt perfectly fine and normal to her.

“Uhm, Dad?”

Actually hearing Gohan's voice was a bit of a surprise, but a tired sigh escaped from Goku at the sound. “Hm? What is it, son?”

The two locked eyes. Goku was holding Pan in the air, but he slowly brought the girl down. As if the two had made some silent communication, a conversation through the wavelengths of their gazes. An issue of trust brought to the table. The slump in Goku's shoulder was apparent.

But then the tension faded slightly when Gohan let out a long breath. “Just. Be careful, okay?”

“I will,” Goku said, his smile brightening a little as he turned back to Pan, lifting her up in the air to make her squeal and giggle as a happy baby should. “You like to be held up like this, don't you, Pan?”

Seeing how Pan was enjoying herself, Videl almost forgot there was a tension issue hovering around the room. At least until Gohan's hand slid down to snatch hers, fingers entwining in her own, softly. And yet…

Trunks was at their feet, glaring up at Gohan. “Really? Really, Gohan? You're going to trust  _ him _ with your baby?”

Videl's eyes widened at the accusation. “What?”

The squealing of her baby brought her attention back to Goku, who was lightly tossing a laughing Pan into the air. “Hah – you still can't fly right? That's all right. I can keep doing this until you do learn.”

Meanwhile, Trunks’ lowered whispering was practically a hiss now. “Goku's the one who blew up the city. He's fine now, but who knows when he'll snap again. Goten was right to tell you guys to leave.”

“He  _ what? _ ” Videl exclaimed, feeling like ice had been dropped down the back of her shirt. Shaking her head, she pulled away from Gohan and walked up to Goku, setting her hands on her hips. “Goku, could I have my child back please? I don't want you tossing her like that.”

A darkness flashed across the Saiyan's eyes, sending a chill down Videl's spine for sure. Although Goku did stop tossing Pan, he didn't hand her over. Instead, the man seemed determined to hold his ground, an action that both confused and shook Videl to her core.

“What? Why?” Goku asked. “She likes it.”

Keeping her stance, swallowing her sudden fear, Videl glared up at him. “Because I don't want you to.”

“She's having fun. It's no big deal.” Goku's eyes rolled and a strange smile settled on his face as he looked at Pan. “Isn't that right?”

Behind her, Videl could hear the murmurs of Trunks and Gohan. A discussion or argument centered around trusting Goku. Of all people,  _ Goku _ . Yet she could see why now. Something was definitely not right here and Gohan hadn't denied a single accusation from Trunks. Which meant the thing about the city was true. For whatever reason. Somehow. Either way, whatever excuse, she couldn't trust Goku right now. Not with her baby girl.

Taking a breath, she calmly changed her tactic and offered a tired sigh instead of a glare. “Goku, can I please have Pan back? It's about time for her to be fed.”

At the lighter tone, Goku seemed to freeze and blink several times before looking around the area, eyes finally landing on her. “Oh. Yeah, sure thing.”

Receiving Pan back into her arms released a lot of pent up tension in her body, as well as seeing that brighter look in Goku's eyes. Confused or not, that innocent spark was something she was used to seeing in all of the Son boys. Something that felt right. Whatever oddity had surfaced was gone now and when Videl turned back to Gohan, she couldn't help the smug smirk.

At least she knew she could handle things when the tension got too high. Gohan, on the other hand, still looked like a spring wired up about to snap or like a deer caught in the headlights on a dark road. Though, to be fair, he'd probably seen more than she had in order to cause such a severe reaction. Videl was pretty certain at this point that she'd rather not hear the details, either.

Not just yet anyway. Let her stay in the dark for a little while longer. If anything, she was now sure that Gohan was keeping her out of the information loop for a reason, and he'd explain when he figured it all out for himself. She could trust in him to make the right call. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes: It may be a while for the next update. I'll still try to keep the fast Monday and Friday schedule but I'm out of pre-written material (at least for quite a few chapters to come) so things may slow down. I'll be trying to keep it quick though! I like having a consistent schedule like this!


	10. Trust

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 10 - Trust

Goku wasn't used to sitting around waiting. Wasn't used to being so uncertain about everything either. Wasn't used to the silence, the awkward tension, among his own family of all things. The relationship between him and his oldest son was fragile at best now – and who knew how the youngest felt after everything that had happened.

Frankly, Goku didn't know what to do. He was tired and worn and feeling so out of his depth. Was someone else controlling him? Was he snapping into rage and forgetting the path of destruction he left behind?

By all accounts, it didn't make sense. He had perfect control of his Super Saiyan states. Perfect control of his transformations. Even back when it first unlocked, he'd stayed away to make sure something like this didn't happen. So… why now?

A bump to the head. A pounding headache that tormented him at every hour. What did it mean, why was it happening, and how did he stop it?

Goku wasn't the only one wanting to know such answers, either. He could feel Gohan's eyes on him from across the room. He lifted his gaze from the sofa he had found since they had moved into one of the larger open rooms. He met the eyes of his son and smiled, saw the dark eyes staring back at him widen and then quickly turn away. He watched as Gohan wrapped his arms around Videl and Pan in a protective blanket. A statement. A reaction. Body language at least to prove to him that his son didn't fully trust him, no matter what he said.

Well, considering Goku was missing a memory of holding his own granddaughter, he couldn't really blame him.

With a sigh, Goku went back to staring at the carpeted floor as he sat on the couch alone and ran a hand through his hair. There was still dried blood on the edge of his face and matting in his hair, but he didn't think it mattered now. He didn't feel much like cleaning up. He wanted to go to Chi-Chi, but she needed some time alone and he needed to give that to her, since he wasn't sure if the stranger controlling him would do as much. So, he sat here, separated and alone in a place he'd always felt welcomed before with his son standing at the far window as if the distance would actually help even if Goku did snap.

He winced. Best not to think too much on it. Maybe it was better to have only Gohan and Videl here. Trunks had run off, muttering something about finding his dad. And Goten was -

An energy flashed through his senses and Goku glanced toward the far window at the feel. Wondering if it was Goten or someone else or something else or if if something bad had happened to his son or -

“Oh good, you're in here,” Chi-Chi's voice shook him out of the uncharacteristic what-if worry and he spun to look at his wife even though her focus was on Gohan. “Would you two mind keeping an eye on Marron for me? I'm going to cook something to help calm my nerves.”

A smile formed on Goku's face, even though his wife refused to look at him. She still needed time, and she was busy dealing with the issue at hand in her own way. By making sure the kids were okay and then going straight to the kitchen. Had she always cooked when under stress? He couldn't remember…

“Y-yeah,” Gohan murmured. “Yeah, we'll watch her.”

“Good,” Chi-Chi said, sending a glance to Goku and a smile before she turned to make her way to the nearest kitchen doorway.

Having Chi-Chi smile like that at him, as weak as it had seemed, brought enough strength to Goku's heart to remind himself that he hadn't lost everyone's trust after all. Not yet. Chi-Chi still believed in him. If anything, at least he had her. He just hoped he could solve this memory control problem soon and make her happy again, find a way to make it all up to her.

As her ever present soft glow of  _ ki _ left the room, Goku closed his eyes. Ever since their early years of marriage, he'd had her  _ ki _ memorized. Somewhat of an accident at first, later something he used to always keep tabs on her safety. He could search anywhere and find her. It was nice, soothing to know such a constant presence would continue to stand by his side. In fact, keeping his senses focused on her now helped to calm him, helped to forget about how his own children thought of him now. Helped to -

Wait.

Eyes opening, Goku stood up from the couch and looked toward the doorway, one name on his lips as he stared in curious confusion at the energy he could now sense just outside. “Krillin?”

In a few beats, three more people appeared in the open room. Bulma. And Krillin and Eighteen. Krillin carrying his wife. Because… oh, right. The city he had destroyed. That was…

“Hey, great! Everyone's here,” Krillin exclaimed, the only one still sporting a grin despite the situation. “Hey, Goku, maybe you could fill me in on what happened after I get Eighteen taken care of?”

Goku felt his eyes widen at the question and he quickly closed his mouth, clenched his teeth, and looked away from the trusting gaze of his best friend. Hands clenching, he swallowed – or tried to swallow – the fear. Fear of losing his friend's trust in the same way he'd lost his son's.

“Come on, Krillin,” Bulma said, rushing through the room to meet the hallway on the other end. “My workshop is this way. I think I still have her original blueprints, too.”

“Right.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Goku noticed a flash of blonde rush over toward Krillin. When he heard the voice, he closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath to try to calm the trembling nerves in his fingers. His mistake, or whatever he could call it, had taken out Krillin's city, endangered his friend's family, and caused trauma for an innocent little girl.

“Papa!” Marron cried. “I wanna be with you and Mama now. I wanna go home!”

“Hey, short stuff,” Krillin said gently. “Don't worry so much. We'll all go home in no time. You'll see. It'll be no big deal at all. Let me take care of your mom and I'll be right back.”

“But...”

Regardless of Marron's pouting whine, Krillin left the room with Eighteen. Goku sensed a glance directed toward him, but he ignored it for now. Ignored until he could better explain, until he could think of some way  _ to _ explain what had happened. Ignored until he could figure out how to face that truth.

With a grimace, Goku set a hand on the side of his head, feeling that ever-present pounding on his skull.

_ Not again,  _ he groaned.  _ Please, not again. Not now. _

By his luck, the switch didn't happen, the jump in time didn't come to pass. The headache pulsed hard for a few agonizing beats and then backed off. In time for a new  _ ki  _ to show up in the living room. A  _ ki _ that had been avoiding him up until now. His youngest son…

“Hey, Goten,” Gohan murmured into the quiet of the heavy atmosphere. “Doing okay now?”

Goten breathed out slowly and nodded up at his big brother. “Yeah. A little dizzy. Think I used too much, but -”

Goku cleared his throat and forced a smile for his boy. “Hey, son, you probably shouldn’t be flying around quite so recklessly, but did it make you feel better to release all that energy?”

Goten’s small dark eyes widened considerably, and the boy jumped behind Gohan, peeking out from behind his leg. “Y-yes sir.”

Goku winced. “Hey now. You don’t have to be so formal with me. You know that, right?”

Goten only nodded in response and Goku felt his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth as he grimaced again. The atmosphere constricted around them and he had to do everything in his power not to shudder and sink to the couch again.He’d heard that he had threatened Goten, but he hadn’t realized how much it had hurt the little guy. 

This wasn’t going to be easy. How was he going to get Goten’s trust back? He’d been so sure his youngest son had loved being around him. After all, the boy had been so clingy years ago when Goku first returned after the fight with Buu. Now there was a wall between them and breaking it down would take a lot of effort.

First, though, he had to solve the problem of his headache and personality switches. Yeah, that had to come first.

Breaking the awkward silence, Goten suddenly sprang out from behind Gohan’s leg. “Marron! Come here! You can’t be close to him!”

Goku watched as his youngest son darted out and wrapped his arms around Krillin’s girl. Marron looked just as surprised as everyone else, but she didn’t seem to have much problem clinging to Goten as the younger Saiyan flew back to Gohan’s side. Blond pigtails bounced as Marron turned to the trembling pre-teen now holding onto her. 

“What’s wrong, Goten? Isn’t he your dad?”

“No,” Goten growled. “That’s not my dad. That’s just someone who looks like him.”

“Oh…” Marron’s eyes turned to Goku and he did his best to force a smile for her. “But he doesn’t look scary…”

“Well he is!”

With another grimace, Goku took a step toward them both. “Hey, Goten, it’s okay. It’s me right now. Not the other -”

“Stay back!” Goten screamed, freezing Goku in his steps. “I don’t trust you!”

Oh but it  _ hurt _ to have that look turned on him from his own son. He couldn’t stand this. Ignoring the shake in his hands, Goku stepped back and tried to look as harmless as possible. This was so different from the time Goten had first met him. The boy had just been shy then. This fear was something else and it  _ hurt _ .

While he stood there, unsure what to say to ease his son’s fear, he looked to Gohan. His oldest had his arms crossed and eyes closed. Gohan  _ said _ he would trust him, but it didn’t look like he could really live up to those words. Even he seemed spooked by Goku’s presence now, and, well, Videl wasn’t scared so much as on edge because of everyone else’s reactions. 

What was he going to do about this?

“Come on, Marron,” Goten snapped suddenly. “Let’s go find Trunks.”

“But what about my Papa and -”

“They can find us when they’re ready,” Goten said, taking the girl by the hand and leading her down the hall. “I can protect you better with Trunks around, and besides, we can have more fun playing with his toys anyway, right?”

As Marron was led away, a smile on her face at last, Goku flopped back on the couch and sighed. The headache pulsed in his head, but it stayed in the background. Whatever Dende had done while healing must have helped at least a little. Maybe he could manage to keep control for a long enough time to figure out what to do now.

Of course he still had to get the dragonballs and bring the city back, using the second wish to erase the people’s memories of that event so no one would panic. Goku would be sure to ask the dragon if curing him of this problem would be possible, too, even if they had to put that wish on hold. Or maybe he shouldn’t do it that way. If he couldn’t control himself and the dragon  _ could _ put things back to normal, should he use a wish on himself?

Well, he’d have to find out if the dragon could even make that happen first.

~!~

Krillin shook his head as he left Bulma’s workshop area. He didn’t understand much of anything of what was going on with his wife. Something about her cyborg parts malfunctioning? Whatever happened, it wasn’t exactly common so Bulma was having the time of her life even trying to figure it out. All while Eighteen sat there, cool as could be, reassuring Krillin that he didn’t have to worry and that she felt fine for the most part.

Still, he felt out of his depth, so he left the room and made his way back to the living area where the others had gathered near the front door. Maybe one of them could actually explain what had happened with the city. Vegeta had shown up in that blue super saiyan state of his without explaining much of anything, and Krillin had been way too focused on getting his family and friends out of harm’s way.

Well, what friends had survived, at least. Sure, none of them were as close as his martial arts buddies - especially not as close as Goku - but he’d made some decent friends while working as a cop. And so many of them were dead now. Gone in an instant in that blast. Whoever had caused that would pay, once he could figure out who was responsible. 

He passed Goten and Marron in the hallway, getting a hug from his baby girl before the two ran off to find Trunks. He let them go, of course. He thought it was nice to see his girl being so close to Goku’s son like that. Maybe in the future…

Nah. Like that would ever happen.

Once he found the room with the others, Krillin plopped down on the sofa next to Goku. His buddy didn’t look so hot. No open wounds or anything, but he had some dried blood matting in his messy hair and a haunted look in his eyes. Probably something to do with whoever had attacked the city. Well, he’d find out soon enough.

“Gohan,” Videl murmured, bouncing the latest Saiyan baby in her arms. “I’m gonna go see what your mom is doing.”

“Right,” Gohan said with a tight nod. “I’ll stay here until we’re ready to leave. I still need to talk to my dad about -”

“I know.”

Goku flinched beside him and Krillin turned to his friend with a raised eyebrow. What was  _ that _ about? Goku was never this quiet or distant. Something serious must have happened. He tried to catch his friend’s eyes, but the Saiyan turned away and stared down at his lap where his fingers were clutching tightly to his ripped pants.

Krillin punched the arm of his friend in response to all that. “Hey, Goku, buddy, mind telling me what’s going on here?”

“Ah, well -”

Gohan interrupted. “Let’s go outside, Krillin. Maybe the roof? Dad?”

“Oh!” Goku snapped to his feet, grinning. “Yeah! That’ll work. Good thinking, Gohan!”

While Krillin raised his eyebrow at the weird dancing around the two were doing - since when did Goku and Gohan both try to hide something from  _ him _ like this? - he shrugged and followed the two outside. If they wanted to have the conversation out of the house, then fine. Maybe he’d figure out why once they explained things. 

This was better than finding Vegeta and trying to get  _ that _ asshole to explain anything, after all.

Once he landed on the roof of Capsule Corporation, Krillin closed his eyes and allowed the warm breeze to ease the tense atmosphere. Whether he was worried or not, it felt like a cloud of lightning standing between Goku and Gohan like this. Which was weird. Gohan adored his dad. What had happened above his city? What had he missed?

“Okay,” he hummed, fists on his waist. “What’s up?”

Goku glanced at him, looked away, then turned back with a weak smile, waving his hand in the air. “We’ll get to that later. First tell me how Eighteen is doing.”

“Huh? Oh, she’s fine,” Krillin said. “Or at least that’s what they told me. You know I don’t understand all that crap and both her and Bulma can be impossible when they try to explain it.”

Goku laughed, light and forced though it was. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Gohan cleared his throat and stood next to Krillin. “Well, it’s good that she’ll be fine. What about the rest of the city? Are there any other survivors? Do you think anyone else saw what happened?”

Holding up his hands with a laugh, Krillin tried to stymie Gohan’s twenty-questions. He had to think back for a moment, crossing his arms. He could still see the blast coming, having to stand in the way to protect Marron as best he could. Thankfully, he had been able to fly off fast enough to avoid getting injured himself, but of course Eighteen… well… that was being worked on… and the rest of the city.

He grimaced at the image. He didn’t like seeing his small area getting so wrecked by some unknown force. It brought back memories of Buu and Frieza and, heck, any villain they’d faced in the past who had been indiscriminate in their killings. The frustrating thing was that he couldn’t find a force of  _ ki _ to blame it on. Seeing Vegeta in his blue super saiyan state probably meant the threat was at a god level, so maybe that was why they couldn’t find the  _ ki _ of the person responsible.

But still…

He wanted to punch someone’s teeth in for what they’d done to his new hometown.

“I don’t think anyone saw anything, Gohan,” Krillin said eventually. “Don’t you guys know what happened? We’re not still in the dark, are we?”

Goku murmured from a couple of feet away. “Not exactly. We know what happened but we don’t know how to stop it.”

Before Krillin could comment on this, Gohan took a step toward Goku, and the odd thing was that the young man’s fists were clenched. “Well we need to figure out  _ something _ , Dad. What if it happens again? What if Mom gets caught up in  _ it. _ ”

“Whoa, Gohan, chill out,” Krillin said, finding it weird to be pulling Gohan back from his own father. “Your dad will watch after your mom no problem. It’s all right.”

“You’re right, Gohan,” Goku said, making Krillin feel like he was being talked over. “But you don’t need to worry, okay? No one needs to worry. It’ll be fine.”

“No it’s not okay, Dad! It’s  _ not _ okay. I told Goten to relax because he was really freaked out, if you couldn’t tell. You threatened him out there. You almost  _ killed _ him. So, no, I’m sorry, it’s not fine, and it’s not going to be okay. You can’t just say it and make it happen this time.”

Goku took a deep breath. “Son, I -”

But Krillin interrupted, stepping between the two. “Wait. Hold on. Run that by me again. I need to understand what’s going on.”

_ And frankly, to understand why you two aren’t on the best of terms. I never see this happen. _

Silence reigned among them all. The warm breeze ruffled through hair and clothes and Krillin sighed. Such a beautiful day and all of this going wrong. First his city, now his friend. Goku kept refusing to look at him, but he could see his buddy clenching and unclenching his fists at his side, like a nervous habit of some sort. Or maybe Goku was trying to come up with the words to explain what was going on. 

Krillin frowned and looked up at his friend. “Goku?”

“I did it, Krillin,” Goku said, voice steady, though his eyes stayed focused on his son. “It’s my fault that city is gone. I lost control.”

_ Wait. What? _

Shutting his eyes, Krillin dropped his arms to his side. “Oh haha, very funny. This is serious -”

“I’m being serious,” Goku stated, and this time his voice did crack. “I don’t - I don’t understand why anymore than you do - but it  _ is _ my fault.”

Gohan quipped from Krillin’s other side. “Yeah, Krillin, this is why I can’t trust him.” When Goku flinched at the statement, Gohan groaned. “I know that hurts to hear, Dad, but it’s just as hard to say. I can’t trust you. Not if you’re losing control and doing stuff like destroying cities and threatening Goten.”

_ Okay. Okay, Krillin, buddy, calm down.  _

Telling himself to keep calm was impossible though. He had to react. He’d already told his wife and daughter that he would go after the person responsible. Did it matter if Goku was to blame? He needed some kind of release from all this tension. Even if -

Well -

Before the conversation could continue between father and son, Krillin bunched his hand into a fist. He sprang up without warning and socked Goku right in the face. The attack apparently managed to catch the Saiyan warrior off his guard because he went falling to the roof, sitting up and rubbing his cheek, eyes wide. 

“Krillin?!”

Taking a breath, Krillin shook his hand. Damn that one hurt. For more than one reason. “Goku, I don’t care what the reason is, what you did probably traumatized my daughter. My wife had something go wrong. People I work with and call friend  _ died _ today because of what happened.”

“I -” Goku grimaced. “I wish I -”

“Hold on I’m not finished,” Krillin interrupted, cutting Gohan off (as well as Goku) before either of them could go at it again. “Whatever the reason, it’s apparent you can’t seem to help being the center of attention, can you, buddy?” With a smile, he held out a hand to help his friend up. “I had to get that punch on you, but unlike Gohan here, I still trust you. I know whatever you’re dealing with is something new and strange and you need help. So come on. Let’s go get those dragon balls and see about setting everything to rights.”

The look that passed through Goku’s eyes almost made Krillin wince. Obviously his friend hadn’t gotten the support he needed now. Maybe he’d have a talk with Gohan later, especially if the young man’s distrust stemmed from something as crazy as a threat to Goten because that meant neither son was on Goku’s side right now. Damn, that was sad to think about. He hoped Chi-Chi stood by Goku at least. 

Didn’t they know Goku would never do anything this insane intentionally? Didn’t they know if he was losing control that he needed support and someone to work  _ with _ him instead of pushing him away? Krillin really was going to have to pull extra if his buddy didn’t have as much trust feeding him with all this.

“Thanks, Krillin,” Goku said with a weak smile, using the offered hand to climb to his feet. “That really means a lot.”

Yeah, talk about a mess. He had his work cut out for him if things had deteriorated this fast. But that’s what friends were for, right?


	11. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Days later, Gohan puts his nose to the books and tries to figure out if there's a more natural solution for Goku's latest problem; meanwhile, Goku, Vegeta, and Krillin continue their dragon ball hunt]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut next chapter...for Kakarot and Chi-Chi...eh heh... or is it Goku and Chi-Chi? Hm. You'll have to read and find out!

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 11 - Searching

Gohan sighed in frustration as he banged the door closed behind him. It caused a loud rumble to go through the walls of the house, but he ignored it for now. His mind was on other matters.

_ "Gohan, I'm going to search for the dragon balls with Krillin and Vegeta. Could you look after Goten and your mother for me? They'd be safer at your house." _

He had agreed of course. His father's eyes when he’d made that request had been practically begging him to go along with him. So he had. He'd told Videl, then convinced Goten (rather easily) and gone on to try to persuade his mom to come over for a few days at the very least.

Tried. And failed.

His mother was too stubborn. No matter how many times Gohan pleaded with her to leave home and come live at his house for a while, that Dad was unstable and unpredictable, and that she would be in danger if she didn't… No matter how Goten almost cried in fear when she refused… His mom wouldn't budge.

_ "I love your father too much to leave him right now, Gohan. Whatever he says, he needs me. He needs all of us, but I understand if you don't want to risk it. Don't worry. I trust him." _

Gohan grumbled, running a hand through his short hair. "Yeah, well, I don't. Not after what I saw."

“You don’t what, Gohan?”

Jerking his head up at the voice, he released a tight smile. “Videl. I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

“Not with you out,” Videl said, stepping onto the wood floor of the entryway. “Not with your dad being -”

She waved her arms about in the air, no doubt because the words evaded her, and Gohan sighed for the second time. Putting his hand behind his head, he rubbed at his neck. So much he wanted to say and so much he couldn’t find words for. He’d barely managed to explain what had happened days ago with Krillin’s city and the whole incident surrounding it. 

He still worried that Krillin was in danger, but a quick, high focused search with his senses assured him that the human fighter was doing fine. Krillin and Goku and Vegeta were still out hunting dragon balls. Not that Videl would be able to know all that. He’d taught her how to fly and how to use her energy. He hadn’t gone over the basics of sensing others by locking onto the presence of different  _ ki _ forces in the world. Maybe he should.

“Gohan?”

Videl stepped up to set hands on his arms, dark eyes staring up at him as she frowned. “You’re still tense. I guess because your mother still refuses to come over here?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “She trusts him. I don’t know how she does it, but -”

Videl hummed and put a finger to his lips to silence him. “I think I understand.”

“What? You do?”

“I was thinking,” she said. “What if something similar happened to you? What would I do?”

“Videl, you wouldn’t -”

“Of course I would stay with you, Gohan.” Her voice was stern, her grip on his arms tightening. “That’s what love means.”

He took a deep breath, then let it out in a rush. She had a point. Love could make you do crazy things. Didn't he know that all too well? If such a similar situation were to happen, how would he feel if Videl stayed by his side, though?

How would his dad feel about his mom staying?

A groan escaped him and he shook his head. His father needed her, just like she said, didn't he? His father needed all of them right now. Whatever was happening, it wasn't Dad's fault. It just -

He just -

_ It's terrifying how unpredictable that mood switch is. _

"Gohan," Videl said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Come. Sit down with me. I've got some drinks set out. You need something to relax you after all this."

He blinked and then smiled, finally noticing what Videl was wearing. She'd dressed for bed. A red silk nightgown covered her from head to toe, though her breasts teased at the low neckline and the silk really didn't hide her -

"Gohan!" She called. "Stop staring like that and come  _ on _ ."

"Hah, uh, sorry, Videl," he said with a gulp. "You're wearing something distracting, sorry."

Her eyes turned on him, a small smirk tilting her lips. "I know."

Face heating because of the sultry way she had to  _ say _ that, Gohan gulped again and made his way across the wooden floor to the living area. One charcoal colored sectional couch stretched on two sides with a matching ottoman in front. Two armchairs filled out the rest of the room to create somewhat of a circle with the focus being the large flat screen television set hanging on the wall. (Most of this furniture - TV included - came from Mr. Satan after they were married. Gohan didn't even really watch TV but he couldn't turn down his father-in-law.)

Videl sat down on the longer side of the sectional couch so Gohan followed her. Leaning over, she grabbed a glass of what looked like orange juice and held it out to him. So he took it as he sat down, brought it to his mouth, and frowned at the subtle smell of alcohol. 

"Videl…"

"Tch, you weren't supposed to notice," she huffed, taking a quick gulp of her own spiked orange juice. "It's not a lot, Gohan. You just have an over sensitive nose."

His frown deepened. "Does yours have alcohol too? Isn't that supposed to be bad for the baby's milk?"

Videl rolled her eyes. "Don't lecture me, Gohan. It's been a rough few days. And it's such a miniscule amount, I'm sure it won't matter."

"Videl…"

"You spoil sport," she huffed, sticking her tongue out. "I pumped well before I drank anything so Pan can have bottles tomorrow and I'll throw away anything I make tomorrow. Happy?"

Feeling relief that his wife would think ahead before doing something normally frowned upon, Gohan smiled and chugged the glass of spiked orange juice. His taste buds said there wasn't that much alcohol to dull his senses. His nose still said it was enough to be obvious. But the tension in his shoulders  _ did _ ease a little. 

Videl took the empty glass from him and set it down next to her own. Then she put hands on his shoulders and climbed into his lap. While his mind dazed its way through the situation, Videl unbuttoned his dark gray shirt, sliding fingers across his exposed chest and pulling a shiver from his body.

"Wait, Videl," he whispered. "What about Go-"

She swallowed his complaint with a kiss, leaving him stunned before she pulled back enough to breathe over his lips. "Goten went to bed a few hours ago. He's asleep. And will be for some time."

"And Pan?"

Her eyes rolled. "Also asleep, but who knows for how much longer. So relax. You need it."

He closed his mouth around another kiss, accepting the pushy tongue of his wife. Her hands continued to roam under his shirt, tracing the lines of his muscles up to his collarbone and shoulder. In turn, he ran his hands down her side and tugged at the nightgown so her breasts popped out of the absurdly low neckline. 

Breaking the kiss, he lowered his mouth to her neck, getting a light moan of encouragement. "I like it when you give into your more feral side, Gohan. Don't hold back."

He gulped, feeling heat rush across his face. Videl could say some of the - well, embarrassing but also hottest things sometimes. It made him groan as he nipped at her neck. Made him lose himself in a haze for a moment as he reached down to her ass to pull her closer to him. 

Then a thought struck him. Feral side, huh? Could that be a Saiyan thing? Did his  _ dad _ … okay, no, not going there. He shook his head of the thought, but then frowned.

Vegeta  _ had _ mentioned how his dad acted more like a Saiyan when he lost control. And his dad said he couldn't remember anything. Like a darker personality taking control, like the Saiyan side from his past rising up. Like some kind of weird personality disorder maybe?

"Oh," he hissed out as Videl reached into his pants and his mind tried to catch up. "I think - Videl wait."

Grabbing her hands, he pried her away from him. She huffed and glared in return. "What now, Gohan? I thought you were letting go and giving in."

"I was but -" With an apologetic kiss to her chin, Gohan picked Videl up from his lap and gently set her down on the couch cushions. "We'll get back to this, I promise. I just need to look something up real quick."

As he got to his feet, Videl huffed again. "Look something up?"

"Yeah. It's -" He turned to her with a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's about my dad."

Videl rolled her eyes, but he could see her trying not to smile. "Go on then. I know how you get."

~!~

Thirty minutes went by before Videl sighed and stood up to go check on her husband. Tying the nightgown around for a more modest look, she stood up and made her way down the hall to the room Gohan used as his study. Pan's bedroom was further down and a guest room for Goten further then that, but the walls were thankfully  _ not _ thin enough for his shuffling around to cause them any problems. The longer Pan could stay asleep at one time, the better. 

When she walked into his study, she sighed again. Gohan had more than one book open on his desk, as well as his laptop out. He didn't sit. He paced. From one end of bookshelves to the next, Gohan walked back and forth as he read, a pencil already conveniently placed behind his ear. 

"Maybe…" he drifted off in a murmur, paused his steps, then shook his head. "No, that doesn't sound right."

Chalk drawings had already made an appearance on his chalkboard, too. Videl pressed her lips together, then found a seat in the black leather loveseat of his little office. She watched her husband pace for a while before she turned to the drawings, tilting her head as she tried to make out what he could be thinking with scribbled portraits of what looked like his dad's face. Or at least his wild hair.

One head drawing had a distinctive angry face with an arrow pointing to a happier one. She guessed that was the personality difference he had mentioned when trying to explain the situation. What was with the rocky shapes in the center of that arrow then?

"Gohan," she murmured, hearing his feet catch a little on the luxurious rug. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Uh, well," his eyes trained to her as he coughed, "it's kind of complicated."

"Doesn't matter," Videl said with a wave of her hand. "You do better when you can talk it out. I don't have to understand every puzzle piece you throw at me."

His smile sent a rush down to her core, but she crossed her legs and kept herself cool. This was important to him, important to all of them right now. She could sacrifice a bit of fun time with Gohan in order to ease his worries, in order to figure out the problem plaguing them all.

"Thanks, Videl," Gohan said, closing his book and setting it on his desk. "I haven't studied too much into psychology so I'm not sure if what I'm theorizing is even actually possible."

"But?"

"But, like, I remembered a story from Master Roshi about my dad as a baby. Something about him hitting his head and changing his personality. So if he hit his head again, I was wondering if it caused something that was dormant to maybe, uh, rise up again."

"Mhm."

She wasn't completely following him, but Gohan loved to talk through puzzles like this. So she watched as he went to the board and demonstrated by pointing at first one portrait, then the other, then drawing an arrow back to the first one.

His hands came away covered in chalk dust, which left a lingering mark on his chin when he put his hand there absent-mindedly. "But that's weird because if the same exact situation happened but in reverse, then why does it feel like he's completely normal at times? You'd think he would just flip back to the original Saiyan personality."

"Which he hasn't done, obviously."

"Right." Gohan scratched his head. "I think it might be something deeper than a traumatic head injury at work here. That just happens to be the catalyst or trigger that we know of but it doesn't have to be the  _ only _ one."

Videl frowned. "What do you mean?"

Gohan stared at the chalkboard, crossing his arms. Silence filled the air. Her husband went into overdrive mode racking his brain for any clue. She wanted to press more, but she could tell he was busy working something out.

When he sighed and shrugged, turning to her with a lost look in his eyes, she knew this wasn't going to be an easy problem to solve. "I don't know. Some kind of personality disorder, maybe? I'm looking into it but nothing is fitting just right and I'm not qualified or even knowledgeable enough in this field to -"

Standing up, Videl walked over and grabbed his hands in hers with a smile. "You'll figure it out, Gohan. I believe that you can do this. Put your head in the books like you always do, and the answer will come eventually."

She pressed her lips to his and squeezed his hands, and Gohan smiled at her gratefully, squeezing back in turn. "Thanks. I just hope  _ eventually _ is soon enough."

~!~

Krillin waved his hand in the air in order to shake off an angry mother bird. Having pulled the seven star dragon ball from the bird’s nest, he could understand why she would be all worked up, but did she really have to peck his head like that? 

It didn't help that Goku only stood there, floating in the air, and laughed.

He turned on his friend as he flew away from the bird’s nest, putting the dragon ball with others in a sack he wore, adjusting the shoulder strap as the bird  _ continued  _ to show her irritation. "Goku! This is why I said you should get it. I knew this would happen. Just my luck."

Goku chuckled, arms crossed. "Yeah, sure, but I don't think we need anything hitting my head right now."

Krillin waved him off. "Whatever. The things I do for friendship. Gah! This isn't fair!"

The bird refused to give up. This was the fifth dragon ball in their collection and Krillin was seriously regretting his eager decision to go ahead and grab the ball from the nest. Now he suffered the consequences.

He wondered if his hair had been longer like back when they'd fought Buu if he would have more of a cushion against the mother bird's incessant pecking. This short growth wasn't doing much at all to ease the attack. Things had been casual and relaxed lately, but it hadn't been  _ that _ long since Frieza's surprise appearance, so his hair hadn't had enough to really grow back to his preferred length. 

Unlike Goku, he wasn't wearing a  _ gi _ either. Just his favorite TACOS red shirt with the gold lettering. That and casual khakis. He'd thought about changing before they headed out on the dragon ball search, but he didn't suspect a fight would show up in the future anytime soon. No matter what Vegeta or the others said about Goku's strange personality switches.

Krillin trusted his friend to keep things together around him. 

Of course, Vegeta flew with them on the search for precaution sake, but Krillin wasn't worried. Even with the news that Goku had been the one to destroy his city and cause all that pain, Krillin found it hard to picture his best friend going off the handle that badly. There had to be something more to it, and though he wasn't the best to figure out  _ what _ , he would continue to have faith in Goku no matter what else happened. 

If only this dumb bird would leave him alone…

"That screeching is annoying."

At the tone of voice coming from Goku, Krillin spun to face his friend in the air. The usual high and happy eyebrows had lowered, reminding Krillin of when Goku got into a serious fight or when he transformed. His hair and aura didn't change in the least, but the  _ look _ …

Goku lifted a hand, pointing toward the bird with a disgusted frown. "I'll shut it up."

As Krillin stared in shock, his friend gathered energy in that pointer finger. "Wait! Goku, you can't hurt them!"

"Why not?" Goku tilted his head. "It's just a bird."

"But -!"

_ You always protect the animals… _

"Tch!" Vegeta growled, closing the distance he had built to shove Krillin rather harshly to the side. "Move, idiot."

As Krillin went flying back, the wind rushing past his ears, he felt the energy near Goku release. A flash of dark purple light darted through the air, right between Vegeta and Krillin, missing them both by hairs, and hitting the bird. 

Krillin's vision shook as he observed the mother bird falling from the sky. Without thinking, he dove for it and caught her in his hands, noticing the blood on one wing. A pierce through the wing kept the bird from flying, but otherwise she seemed fine. He breathed a quick sigh of relief.

"Man," he murmured, "that was close. Goku, what's gotten into y-"

He cut off the question when he gazed up and saw the fight between the Saiyans. Neither of them had transformed, but they moved quickly enough to make it hard to keep track. He could see Vegeta knocking Goku in the jaw with a mean right hook. Then Goku came back aggressively with a slash to the side and a roundhouse kick that Vegeta barely dodged. 

They disappeared, then reappeared elsewhere, their blows leaving shocking impacts throughout the sky. Stray energy blasts came flying toward him and Krillin yelped as he had to dodge around them. All the while, he held the mother bird in his hands, eventually determining to leave the bird near her own nest and shift the nearby rocky outcropping to act as a barrier wall for the bird and her eggs. 

He'd have to worry about the animal later. First, he wanted to see what he could do to force Goku out of this insanity. So what the others said  _ was _ true. If Goku could snap and try to kill a helpless animal just because it annoyed him, then maybe he  _ could _ destroy an entire city and threaten his sons. 

But he sure as hell wouldn't be happy with himself when he snapped back to normal. That much Krillin knew. So, gritting his teeth, Krillin jumped away and followed the match of the two Saiyan warriors. For a short while he could follow their movements by tracking their  _ ki _ , even if he wasn't able to see every flurry of punches or kicks individually. 

When they transformed to their blue super saiyan states and Vegeta screamed insults about Goku's family, mostly Chi-Chi, Krillin scowled. That  _ asshole _ . What was the point of doing  _ that? _ Energy flashed through the sky, the ground shook as he jumped from mountain edge to mountain top. Sweat beaded on the back of his neck and he grimaced as he paused and took a breath, watching from high up and hoping he could find something useful to do. 

Goku and Vegeta came together in the sky, hands grappling, trying to outmatch the other with pure strength. Krillin heard more shouting. More insults from Vegeta. A frustrated scream from Goku and then -

Krillin bounced back and forth on his feet because Goku had been kicked away and was now coming  _ right toward him. _ At the last second, Krillin ground his teeth together and clenched his jaw. He opened his arms and prepared to catch the missile of a falling Saiyan warrior. 

His friend crashed into him  _ hard _ and Krillin did his best to keep his footing, but it didn't end as well as he'd hoped. They went sliding backwards, the force of the hit making spit fly up from Krillin’s gut as he lost his breath and fought to keep his hold on Goku. 

As the force of the impact died away, they ended on the edge of the rocky mountain top, and Krillin released a breath of relief. Good. He didn't have to worry about -

Except the rocky earth under his feet gave way and suddenly they were falling to the ground. The second harsh impact of the day thankfully wasn't as rough as the first, but Krillin still groaned. Landing on the grassy ground wasn't enough of a soft spot to keep his bones from aching at the fall, especially with Goku's weight falling on top of him.

"Ow…" he groaned. "Damn it, Goku."

"Heh. Sorry, Krillin."

_ Good. That's his normal voice. _

Still, the world felt like it was on fire as his friend sat up and Krillin was able to grunt and grumble while getting to his feet. "You had me worried there, buddy."

Goku grimaced, a hand going to his head. "Sorry. The headache got worse out of nowhere. I tried to hold it down, but -"

"Is that what happens? You get a headache and then lose control?"

"Y-yeah," Goku winced. "I don't even remember anything. What happened?"

This time, Krillin winced. He wasn't sure he wanted to  _ tell _ Goku what had happened. Goku loved all the creatures of this planet, even going so far as to save dinosaur eggs and babies from rough weather all the time. To tell him that he'd tried to slaughter one because of a small annoyance… 

Well, he didn't want to hurt his friend anymore. Krillin had a feeling that Goku had quite enough to be upset over.

"Krillin?" Goku's eyes turned on him, looking up from where he continued to sit on the ground. "What did I do this time?"

"Oh, hah, nothing serious," Krillin said with a smile, waving his hand in the air. "Don't worry about it, buddy."

Goku frowned. "Krillin…"

Before he could reassure him further, Vegeta showed up, hair back to being black as night, though his attitude hadn't changed much. "Tch. You almost shot Krillin here."

"Shot?" Goku's eyes widened and he jumped to his feet. "Krillin? Why would I - ?"

"It wasn't like you were aiming for me, Goku," Krillin mumbled, sending a glare to Vegeta. "Just the bird."

"The bird? Is it okay?"

Krillin waved his hand in the air. "Fine. Fine. A little hurt but nothing serious. We'll take care of that in a minute. First, I-"

"Krillin, I can't do this," Goku groaned, interrupting him. "I - I don't know why this is happening and I don't want to accidentally hurt you or - or anyone else. Maybe I should go away somewhere that I can't hurt anyone else."

Krillin frowned. "Now I  _ know _ that's not right."

"But, Krillin, what if I -"

"Stop it. This isn't like you."

" _ None  _ of this is like me."

"You're right but giving up isn't going to solve anything."

"But I-"

"Oh would you both shut up?" Vegeta interrupted. "Look. We have a plan already in motion and I was able to stop things from getting messy. Let's finish what we started and  _ then _ you can have this mopey conversation if you're so inclined."

Krillin glared at the Saiyan Prince. Sometimes Vegeta could be such an asshole. To his surprise, Goku seemed to appreciate the harsh words, laughing and rubbing the back of his head. Krillin rolled his eyes. 

Saiyans…

Well, Vegeta did have a point. They were so close to finishing their collection of dragon balls. So close to making a wish. Krillin knew he would ask about fixing Goku's weird mental state. The dragon had to be able to do something.

And if he couldn't?

Well, they'd cross that bridge when they got to it.

~!~

Goten woke up with a start. Blinking his eyes through the haze of sleepiness, he stared around at the room that wasn't his. At first, confusion set in, but then he remembered all that had happened to bring him away from home and he shuddered.

Sitting up in the queen sized bed (too big for him to be comfortable in it alone), Goten pulled his knees up under the covers and wrapped his arms around his legs. He didn't feel good. Nothing felt good. His dad had lost his mind. How could he feel good after all that had happened?

He loved his dad  _ so much _ but he couldn't forget the feeling of that heated gaze and the burnt rubber smell of energy so close to his face. That guy wasn't his dad. No matter what he looked like or how he tried to assure them all that he could be normal, or what Gohan or his mom said, there was  _ no way his dad would do that stuff. _

So the only conclusion was that  _ that guy _ wasn't his dad and he shouldn't feel sad for turning away from him. He shouldn't feel bad for not trusting him. For wanting to protect Marron and Pan and his mom from  _ that guy _ .

But! His mom wouldn't come here. Gohan had brought Goten here and promised he would do everything possible to convince his mom to come, too. How many days had it been though? How many mornings had he woken up without his mother's breakfast gently wafting through the house?

He missed her. He wanted her here. But he was too scared to go back home and stay with her. Too scared to face  _ that guy _ again. 

Tears threatened to break from his eyes and he reached up with his arm, wiping his face to get them to stop. He wouldn't cry. He had to be strong. Gohan would fix everything. Gohan always said their dad could do anything, but if his dad had gotten taken over by a bad guy then - then - well Gohan had to step in, right? He had faith in Gohan more than  _ that guy _ for sure. 

Climbing out of the bed, bare feet touching the blue carpet, Goten looked around the room. His figures and posters weren't here. The walls were empty, the dresser bare. His desk wasn't here, even if there was one over in the corner. These windows or curtains weren't the same, either, too fancy to belong to his house. 

Sure, he felt safe in Gohan’s house, but it had been almost a week, and he had never stayed over at someone else's house for this long. Not even with Trunks. He hadn't even spent this long camping, which he'd only gotten to experience with his dad three times since he came back to life. 

He wanted his dad back. Not  _ that guy _ . He wanted to experience all the fun stuff Gohan talked about for years. This wasn't fair. He didn't want to be here, feeling alone and scared. 

A baby cry broke through the house and Goten lifted his head. Pan was probably hungry. Videl and Gohan would get her in time, but… 

But that crying sounded so sad.

Picking up his feet, wiping his face with the collar of his shirt, and squaring his shoulders, Goten rushed out of the big guest room. He stayed in his pajamas because there wasn't time to worry about changing clothes if Pan was sad. He ran too far, missing Pan's room, but he got a look into Gohan’s study room on accident. He saw Gohan asleep with his head on his desk amid a bunch of open books and peering in closer revealed Videl asleep on the small couch. Shouldn't they wake up if Pan was crying? 

With a huff, he turned away from his brother and Videl. He could make Pan happy. He knew how to feed her, too! So long as Videl had left some baby bottles in the fridge, Goten could take care of everything. 

Running back to Pan's room, he almost slipped on the edge of the carpet. Almost. He wouldn't do something so stupid. No, he walked into Pan's room full of confidence, and he reached into her crib to pick her up and hold her like Gohan had shown him. 

"Hey, Pan," he said softly. "You hungry?"

Since his baby niece kept wailing, Goten took that as a yes. Talking to her the whole time, he made his way to the kitchen all the way on the other side of the house. Thankfully, plenty of full baby bottles rested in the fridge so he grinned and put one in the microwave like he'd seen Videl do once. This should be right. 

The whole time, Pan continued to cry and scream, so he talked to her to try to calm her. "Don't worry, Panny. I'll take care of you. You don't have to worry. I'm a good uncle! Your mommy and daddy are asleep but I'll be good and give you whatever you want, okay?"

To his delight, the baby quieted her tears even before he was able to put a bottle to her lips. She must like him. Good. Everyone should like him. She was right to trust him, too. He was much better than  _ that guy _ . 

Eventually, Goten ended up feeding Pan on the big couch in the living room, and Videl walked in with a yawn. "Oh, good. Thanks, Goten. You're such a dear."

Goten pouted up at her, especially when she came around behind the couch and ruffled his hair. "I'm not a deer. I'm a person."

Videl chuckled. "Right, sorry. And a sweet person at that. You like feeding Pan?"

As his sister-in-law sat on the couch next to him, Goten preened at the positive attention. Pan continued to eat from the baby bottle and Videl smiled down at them both. He kicked his feet against the floor, which he could reach because he sat on the edge of the couch cushion (it still kind of bothered him that Trunks was growing taller and he still looked like a kid). 

"Yeah," he said with a grin at Videl. "I'm a good uncle."

Videl yawned again. "You sure are. You can stay here as long as you want, okay? Gohan might be close to a solution for your dad soon, but I still like having your help with Pan."

While it felt good to be appreciated, he also didn't like the talk about a certain someone else. "That guy's not my dad. Gohan shouldn't bother helping him. My dad must be lost somewhere else."

"Oh, Goten…"

"But I don't care," Goten said, looking down at the baby in his arms. "Gohan told me I could be Pan's special protector so I'll do that. I'm even going to memorize her  _ ki _ . Watch!"

Videl sighed and sank back against the couch but she eventually gave him a nod. "I'll be watching. You take good care of my baby girl, all right?"

"I will!" Goten grinned. "Forever and ever! Even if that guy scares me, I won't let him hurt Pan. I promise!"

Videl gave him a smile in response, and Goten turned his attention back to the baby in his arms. Pan was almost finished with this bottle, after all. Then he'd have to burp her and, well, okay, Videl could change her if she needed it. He didn't want to do  _ that _ part. 

Because of his change in focus, he missed the sad look in Videl's eyes, as well as the upset frown on Gohan’s face where his brother stood in the dark of the hallway behind them.


	12. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goku returns home and Chi-Chi welcomes him with open arms]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is GoChi smut (ahem, Kakarot, cough cough); if you don't want to read that part, it's only in the first section, but I wouldn't suggest skipping the whole first part; maybe just until you get the vibe; I have been told my smut writing isn't really that explicit but idk... that's the best I could do this time, sorry; ANYWAY for the rest of you - enjoy?
> 
> Warning: The smut is really rough; the kind to leave bruises and such;

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 12 - Love 

Chi-Chi smiled wistfully as she put the finishing touches on a new shirt for her husband. It had all manner of beach items and foods - pineapples, coconuts, towels, inner tubes, snorkels - in the design, scattered about a light blue background. A nice pattern for someone who might visit the beach with the family. 

Oh, the dream sat in her mind, though she knew at this stage it was rather pointless. With how things had turned out, Goku probably wouldn't want to go anywhere. Once he did return home, no doubt he would want to stay here. Or maybe he would try to run when he saw her, considering how Gohan had begged her to leave and how Goten had been spending the week at his brother's house. 

The family was torn because of the incident where Goku lost control to such a great extent. She knew her husband would want to push them away if he couldn't trust himself. The whole situation felt eerily similar to his reasons for not coming home after Frieza. The boys struggled to trust him, he probably didn't trust himself, but…

But Chi-Chi refused to leave him in his time of need. Whatever he struggled with, she would be there. Whether he hurt her or not, she would stand by him and do all in her power to help him through this difficult time. He'd fought such a thing off before - she believed he could do it again. Especially with her help.

When the front door opened with a creak, Chi-Chi set her latest knitting project off to the side and stood up to see who had entered without knocking. Gohan still had the habit of walking into the house like it was his own, and she didn't mind, really. He could come over unannounced however often he wanted. This would always be home. But she didn't hear Gohan’s voice calling for her, and the door closed without anyone's presence making itself known. 

She pressed her lips together in a firm line. While it was doubtful to be an intruder - and Chi-Chi could take care of any normal house burglar - she had a feeling her Goku had returned home at last. Even with that assurance in the forefront of her mind, she walked down the hall to the dark entryway with hesitant steps. 

Goku and the others had taken longer to gather the dragon balls than she would have expected out of them. Maybe something had gone wrong. Maybe he'd hurt someone else. Or maybe the reason he wasn't coming down the hall to find her and proclaim the problem fixed was because…

Chi-Chi froze when she saw him. 

Sitting on the floor with his legs spread before him, Goku had his eyes closed and his head leaning back against the door. His shoulders slumped, but there existed a tension in his frown and twitching eyebrows. Strong fingers clenched tightly into the torn legs of his _gi_ pants, and his breaths came out in quick, short spurts as his chest heaved up and down. 

Her husband was in pain, mental, emotional, or otherwise. 

Without another thought, Chi-Chi rushed over to him and set her hands on his cheeks, as if she could touch away the tension in his face. "Sweetheart, I'm here."

Goku's eyes flashed open instantly. "Chi-Chi? Oh man, I thought you were with Gohan. I must be really out of it if I didn't even notice you were here."

"Goku," she murmured, searching his shaking eyes for an answer. "What happened?"

He shook his head. "Nothing major. The dragon can't fix this, though. He said it was a natural occurrence and he had no power to change it. Chi-Chi, what about this is natural?"

Oh, the ache in his voice nearly brought tears to her eyes, but she couldn't cry. She had to be strong. For him. He needed her to smile and take this all in with a gentle acceptance. 

Her heart ached, though. The pain in her chest and the flutter in her tightening stomach made her true feelings all too known. Hopefully he would be too distracted to notice, just as he apparently hadn't realized she was home. 

Running fingers through his hair, Chi-Chi leaned over to land a sweet kiss on his forehead. "I don't know, Goku. I don't have the answer for you. I'm here for you, though."

"Chi-Chi," he frowned, "you shouldn't be here. I told Gohan to-"

She interrupted him with a kiss, feeling his gasp in her mouth, only pulling away when she was certain he would listen. "I'm not leaving, Goku. The boys are together at Gohan’s house, and that's fine, but I'm not leaving when you need me."

"Chi-Chi," he whined. "It's not safe. I've already hurt you once. I really don't want to do anything worse."

"Honestly, Goku, it was one time. I'll be fine." She smiled and kissed him again, shifting positions on her knees between his legs. "Don't you worry about me. I'm tough, remember? I can handle you."

He didn't say anything in response, but she could see the truth in his eyes. He didn't believe what she said, and how could he? After what he'd already done, after destroying his relationship with Goten who had always _adored_ his dad, it was no wonder Goku couldn't trust himself anymore. But she did.

She had to. 

No matter what anyone else did. No matter if they all lost faith in him. No matter if everyone was too scared to get close to him anymore. 

Chi-Chi wouldn't let this come between them. Goku would always be her Goku. Though it was strange and different and confusing and heart-rending to see him like this, she wouldn't let him face it alone. She'd made up her mind and she wouldn't back away. 

In the next breath, Goku had his arms around her, pulling her close, burying his face in her chest. "Thanks, Chi. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you."

With a soft smile, she ran fingers through his hair, patting down the wild spikes and massaging his head. "You still having those headaches?"

"Mhm," he hummed with a slight nod, clinging even tighter. "You smell nice, Chi."

Unable to help herself, she giggled. "You always say that."

"Oh really? Well, it's true," Goku said, his fingers digging into her back a little too tightly; she frowned but kept playing with his hair. "I really like the way you smell, you know. It makes me want…"

His voice drifted off and she hummed a soft little tune, thinking maybe he had tired himself out. After all, he'd been hunting dragon balls for over a week. She really hadn't expected it to take so long, but she was glad to hear that nothing major had happened regardless. 

If he fell asleep right here on the floor, that would be fine with her. She might be able to lift him to the bed or couch, but it wouldn't be troublesome to leave him here with a blanket and pillow either. Knowing Goku, he wouldn't care. Considering how many times she'd been annoyed at him for something and left him sleeping outside for the night, falling asleep on the floor would be nothing to him. 

Just when she thought he had fallen asleep for real though, Goku surprised her again. Lifting his face from her chest, he grabbed her arms and pulled her down to smash their lips together. His mouth insisted on attention and she gasped when he bit playfully at her bottom lip before letting his tongue delve between her lips. 

Oh. When he'd said the way she smelled made him want something _that_ was what he was talking about. She hadn't expected it since he had appeared so worn out and exhausted from what was going on with him mentally lately. If this was some way for him to relax and forget the troubles he was currently facing, then she had absolutely no problem giving into his unspoken request.

One of his hands ran up her back, squeezing into the strands of her hair at the nape of her neck. She shifted on the ground in front of him, trying to find a more comfortable position. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she balanced herself as he gripped into the ribbons tying her hair up. While the kiss grew more and more heated, her hair came tumbling down and his fingers threaded through the small tangles with less care than usual.

With a groan, she pulled back from their kissing. "Goku, maybe you could stand to be a little less excited."

"Hm?" His eyes glanced lazily up at her. "Why?"

His hands moved to her legs, picking her up and settling her in his lap, practically crushing her against him and squeezing far too tight into her thighs, making her hiss. "Like that. We've barely started and you're already -"

His lips latched onto her neck at her pulse point and she let out a small surprised sound as her eyes fluttered and he sucked on her skin. "Already what?"

A moan escaped from her and she tightened her grip on his shoulders, because he'd let both arms go free and she'd moved them by habit. "Goku…"

Fingers clenched harshly into her legs again and she bit her lip on her complaint. He was trying to get under her cheongsam and to the pants underneath. Way too excited, that's what he was. It couldn't be because he'd been gone for a week since they'd last coupled. No, he had been away for training for much longer periods of time without coming home with _this_ amount of focused insistence.

So what was it? Why was he so...off? Should she even ask? Maybe that would upset him. After all, he couldn't remember everything he did, couldn't control himself completely. He'd be hurt if she spoke to him of this and he didn't know what she was talking about... _she'd_ be a little upset, too.

Instead of facing that, probably better to let his instincts run their course. 

"Chi-Chi?" Meeting his eyes gave her a confused raised eyebrow. "Something wrong?"

Swallowing back the truth, she reached up to his cheeks and leaned in to press her forehead to his. "Nothing. It's fine. Just _try_ not to be too rough, okay?"

Goku frowned. "Yeah, I know. Should we move places, too? I know you're not as comfortable on the floor anymore."

With a laugh, she nodded and peeled herself away from him. "Yeah. Let's go to the bedroom."

Once Chi-Chi got to her feet, she adjusted her yellow cheongsam and brushed down the folds and wrinkles. It took a couple steps down the entryway for her to realize Goku wasn't following her. With a hum, she turned around to see what could be keeping him, only to frown at the way his hands dug into his spikes of wild hair.

Probably that headache acting up again. Poor thing. She wanted to run to him after seeing the pain and tension in his body, but he gave a deep breath and stood up before she could convince her feet to move. She caught his encouraging smile, soft and weak as it was, and then turned back around to keep making her way down the hallway.

A stray thought reminded her of the shirt she'd been knitting, but she waved it off. It was safe on the couch. No kids running around to accidentally knock it around or unravel all her hard work, after all. No. It was time to focus on her husband. He needed her to give whatever she could right now, and she was completely willing no matter how rough he got - even if she'd have a hard time concealing any bruises if that _did_ happen.

A hand grabbed her wrist and tugged her back a few steps. Chi-Chi turned to face her smirking husband. Words boiled to the surface only to be stopped at the tip of her tongue when Goku brought her hand up to his mouth. 

Without any sort of explanation, he kissed at her sweaty palm and then made her gulp back complaints as his tongue trailed down to the pulse point at her wrist. Soft and gentle caresses stunned her into quiet submission as he kissed and lightly nibbled along her wrist, moving back up her hand slowly until he popped one of her fingers in his mouth and caught her gaze with half lidded eyes.

She swallowed something in her throat at the tender ministrations, only able to murmur his name. "Goku…"

As she slowly pulled her hand away, Goku's arms wrapped around her and without a word of explanation, the fire in his eyes being her only other clue, he leaned down to smash his lips onto hers. Forcing her mouth open with a moan, he slid his tongue in and brought heat building up her body with his sudden, almost ravenous attack of a kiss. Chi-Chi shuddered as an ache pooled below her stomach and she shut her eyes to give in further to every touch Goku landed on her, from the squeeze of her ass to the fingers sliding up her back to the massaging motion at the back of her neck under her loose dark hair.

When the sound of ripping fabric filled the air, she almost didn't believe it, but then cool air hit her now bare back and she realized he _had_ torn the fabric of her cheongsam. A complaint rose in her throat, ready to give him a piece of her mind for ruining one of her favorite casual outfits. Before she could voice her thoughts, Goku picked her up and slammed her into the nearby wall hard enough to make her surprised gasp turn into a shocked yelp of pain.

"Goku," she groaned. "What are y-?"

"Shh," he whispered, lightly kissing her tingling lips. "Don't say anything."

Another groan escaped her as his hands made quick work of the rest of her cheongsam and the pants underneath, leaving her in just her under garments. Except those were soon gone as well and his fingers dug into her thighs, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his naked waist. Huh. She must have hit the wall harder than she thought if she missed him stripping himself, too. 

Chi-Chi didn't have much of a chance to let her thoughts run as Goku's teeth found her neck, alternating between light nibbles and rough sucking on her skin. She shuddered, hands going to his shoulders and back, clinging with all her might as he coaxed more sounds from between her lips. One of his hands found one of her breasts and squeezed so hard she had to throw her head back, grimacing at the mix of pleasure and pain running through her body. 

He was being too rough, but… 

But she'd already told herself she could handle him. So she'd put up with the harsher ministrations and love bites leaving marks down her neck toward her collarbone. She would worry about hiding any bruising she was likely to receive later.

Later…

For now, Goku demanded attention as his fingers slipped between her legs and teased at the wet folds. Eyes fluttering at the contact, Chi-Chi tightened her grip on his shoulders, biting her bottom lip as he found her most sensitive areas and teased her into a haze of pleasure. At some point, she found herself staring at the way his arm muscles flexed with every motion, at the way his chiseled chest heaved up and down with his panting breaths, at how his eyes caught and held hers though there was far more fiery lust in his gaze and so little hint of his usual tender sparks of love. 

She didn't have time to contemplate this subtle difference as he suddenly pounded into her with enough force to crack the wall behind her. Moans and whimpers left her lips as he pulled out and shoved in again without any care to whether he hurt her. She tried to calm down his excitement. Tried to bring his face to hers and breathe a plea for him to slow down, but the mixture of pain and pleasure kept her from vocalizing anything beyond gasps and cries. 

And soon enough, she didn't care about whether he was gentle or not, she just wanted _more_. The need for rougher handling took her by surprise, but all the minor aches and pains added to the new experience and Chi-Chi relished in the sudden careless way her husband took complete control of everything in their love making. No questions asking for permission, no whispered sweet words in her ear, no gentle assurances of his love for her. Just hard and fast and primal.

Her first climax of the night came in a rush of measured layers of emotions and feelings, wrapping her in bliss and sweet, sweet power. Like a storm that she had to ride through, like waves crashing through her, and all the while Goku continued to abuse her body sending more flashes and tingles through her aching core. 

They moved to the couch in the midst of her ride and he hovered above her as he pressed her against the cushions, his musty scent enveloping her as sweat ran down their bodies. She screamed and moaned with each thrust taking her higher and higher, not caring for the ache as he clung to her tighter with each passing breath. She responded in kind as best she could, scratching up his chest and neck and shoulders and back, whatever she could find to dig her nails into. 

At some point in their messy love making, she noticed a ball of thread rolling from the couch cushions down to the floor and across the room. Oh. She'd completely forgotten about the shirt she'd been making for him. 

Oh well. 

~!~

Bulma stared blankly at the television screen. Some new romantic comedy played on, but her attention refused to focus. She sat with a blanket curled around her legs, a mug of coffee in her hands, and a shawl loosely wrapped at her shoulders. It got cold at night, even inside the house.

Rubbing her eyes, she yawned for what must have been the hundredth time. How many days had it been since _the incident?_ How many days since Vegeta ran off to dragon ball hunt without telling her? That man… If not for Krillin filling in Eighteen, she probably would still be sitting here wondering.

Instead she sat here late at night every night since he'd gone on this little adventure. Wondering when he'd come back, wondering if he would be all right, wondering if _Goku_ would snap again the way Trunks had described to her. Bulma fretted so much her thumb nail had been bitten down to almost nothing. 

With Eighteen taken care of, she had nothing to do now except wait. Trunks had had a few nightmares during the past few nights - had it been a week? Maybe… So neither one of them had been getting the best of sleep lately.

Freaking hell, would it kill Vegeta to check in with her before running off like that? 

As if the mere thought of his name were a delayed reaction summons, Bulma heard the nearby unlocked window being opened and then shortly thereafter, closed. Vegeta couldn't stand to use the front door and bypass all of its alarm systems in the middle of the night, so she had set up a specific window just for him. A window that would lead him right past her if he intended to go to the kitchen or their bedroom or, really, anywhere else in their house.

When Vegeta came into sight, Bulma was in the midst of sipping her coffee. She glared at him from over the edge of the mug and held him fast. Vegeta stiffened but otherwise didn't move an inch as her gaze took in his tattered training clothes, the mass of bruises and cuts across his skin, and the dried blood matting at the edges of his hair. 

Some dragon ball hunt. Vegeta had been in a fight. With someone who could actually damage him.

"Vegeta."

"Bulma."

"Sit with me," she said. "We need to talk."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Walking over to the sofa, he plopped down beside her, not caring to avoid sitting on the edge of the blanket still draped over her legs. Not that it mattered. He had no problem sitting close to her these days, especially at night away from any other eyes. 

His leg brushed her own through the blanket and she handed over her mug of coffee. Vegeta stared at the offered drink for a moment, probably trying to figure out if there were some ulterior motive behind the gesture. She couldn't blame him, considering how often she'd used coffee to butter him up. 

Having come to a decision, he accepted the gift and drained half the cup in a few powerful gulps before handing it back to her with a grunt. "What do you know?"

Bulma huffed. "That Trunks is having nightmares about Goku of all people. I know he was acting strange, but what happened out there, Vegeta?"

"He's having nightmares?" Vegeta clicked his tongue between his teeth. "That boy is too old for nightmares."

She narrowed her eyes and poked at his bare arm muscles. "I don't want to hear that from _you_ , Mr. Still-Keeps-Me-Up-At-Night-Because-Of-His-Own-"

"All right, all right," Vegeta growled. "Point made, woman."

"What I want to know is _why_ is my son afraid of _Goku_ , the sweetest person in the universe."

Vegeta grunted. He didn't answer, either. Instead he snatched the coffee mug from her hands and downed the rest of its contents. She frowned, for more than one reason.

Oh sure, Bulma was a little put out because he'd gone and drank most of her coffee without leaving her much of anything to sip. But something in the tension of his shoulders and the flexing of his other hand into a fist… 

Her frown deepened. "What happened, Vegeta?"

"Kakarot had an accident. Hit his head thanks to Beerus. Now he's lost control of his more Saiyan side." Vegeta stared straight ahead, eyes flicking over the blinking television in front of them though she doubted he processed anything happening on the screen. "He destroyed Krillin’s city and frightened the kids, apparently almost killing his own son."

Bulma felt her mouth drop open. "What? But Goku wouldn't…"

" _Goku_ wouldn't," Vegeta sneered even as he said the name. "Kakarot would."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Vegeta shrugged. "He's lost control of his darker side, that's all. Whenever it happens, he acts more like a Saiyan worthy of his birth name."

"But…"

"You know how I used to be," Vegeta said. "He's more like that, except he has these stark differences in personality like he's trying to hold it back. I've never seen that sort of personality switch, but I know how to snap him back to normal so I went with him and Krillin to hunt for dragon balls. The dragon can't solve his problem, by the way, but I'll be keeping an eye on his _ki_ and if it feels like he's going on a killing spree again, I'll react."

Bulma had never heard so many words out of her husband's mouth at once. She didn't know what to say. Even he seemed uncomfortable by the conversation, tapping his finger against the empty mug, adding a slight metallic clicking sound to the ticks of the old clock in the nearby hallway. 

That was a lot to take in. Taking a breath, Bulma brought her hand to her head and rubbed at her temple. Goku losing control like that. Vegeta being the only one who could snap him back to normal.

"How?" She murmured.

"How what, woman?"

She glanced at him. "How are you snapping him back to normal when he loses it?"

Vegeta scoffed. "By insulting his wife and sons."

"Vegeta!"

"What?" He scowled. "It works to piss him off."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh and pissing him off is such a great tactic."

He shrugged. "It's what triggers transformations and apparently it can trigger him to switch back into control of his senses."

"Still...you don't have to go around insulting Chi-Chi and the boys," she scoffed. "I thought you actually liked them."

This time, Vegeta was the one to roll his eyes, though she was rewarded with a light blush for her efforts in calling out his feelings. "It's not like I actually believe the drivel I spout at Kakarot. It's the only effective way I've found to make him switch, that's all."

With a long sigh, Bulma sat back on the couch. Things were far more complicated than she'd expected. Trunks having nightmares was nothing too new. Even now he occasionally woke up screaming or racing around the building in a messed up sleep walking state, transformed and yelling about Buu. But to be scared of Goku? For Goku to lose control?

The only time she'd ever been afraid of Goku was back when he was a kid. When he had a tail and looked at the full moon. When he transformed into a giant monkey and lost all sense of himself. Was this new issue similar? Did he remember anything he did when he lost control? 

Whatever the case, Bulma didn't know if there was much she could do to help. Chi-Chi would stand by Goku even if the boys were scared, she was sure of that much, knowing how attached Chi-Chi was to her husband. Knowing how attached Bulma was to Vegeta, she'd do the same if something similar happened. 

Glancing at her husband she frowned, remembering when he’d given over to Babidi's magic, when he'd killed so many at the World Tournament stage. Was this like that? Was Goku being controlled? Or was Vegeta more accurate to call it a different personality? A darker personality…

"I hope," she started, stopped, breathed at the new thought, and then started again. "I hope Chi-Chi can handle him."

"Keh," Vegeta scoffed. "That woman may be strong but not that strong. If he loses himself too far to the darker side of his personality, she won't enjoy what he pushes on her."

Raising an eyebrow, Bulma turned on him. "What do you mean?"

Vegeta turned his head, cleared his throat, and stood up from the couch. "Nothing."

Oh, he was walking away from her! He didn't want to explain! Why? Could it be that bad? 

"Vegeta!" She called after him. "He won't _kill_ her, will he?"

The Prince of all Saiyans turned back to face her, his facial expression masked by the darkness so she couldn't even hope to read whatever went through his mind at the question. "I doubt it. Nothing that bad. Unless Kakarot fails to recognize his own strength."

Bulma felt her heart beat all the way up in her throat. She should warn Chi-Chi. She could call her and - she stopped, hand on the phone in her pocket. Would it matter even if she did? 

~!~

Goku woke to the smell of sausages and eggs, which put a smile on his face before he even opened his eyes. When he saw where he rested, he had to frown, though. The couch. With a blanket and no clothes underneath, though a set of clean boxers, blue sweatpants, and a white tank were set out not too far from his reach. Still, he couldn't remember anything of what led him to this place. 

Sitting up, he winced slightly at a surprised painful itch on his chest. Looking down, he blinked at the scratch marks that he could see there, as well as on his arms and, by the feel of it, on his back, too. He groaned, bringing a hand to his aching head.

What had he done last night? Why couldn't he remember? Had Chi-Chi fought him back because of -

Goku sprang to his feet at the thought, dropping the yellow blanket to the floor amid the unraveled remains of some knitting project. He dressed quickly and then raced into the kitchen. While her name was on his lips, it died there when he realized she wasn't here. Where…?

A quick check of her _ki_ informed him that she was still in the house, so he focused on her warm glow and made his way to the back. To their bedroom. He heard her moving things around in the bathroom and pushed the door back slowly, afraid at what he might see.

"Chi?" He asked. "Are you okay?"

She yelped at his entrance, standing in front of the mirror, a hand on her neck. "Goku! I didn't think you'd be awake yet."

"I am," he murmured, eyes going to her neck, nose wrinkling at the smell of makeup. "What are you doing? You're not planning on going out today, are ya?"

Chi-Chi flushed, her hand dropping, her eyes refusing to look anywhere but at him. He didn't like this. This _tension_ in the air between them. It had to be because of something he'd done last night. Chi-Chi never looked at him like that, yet all too often lately he'd caught her avoiding his gaze.

Her neck and shoulders were covered in that makeup cream stuff, the kind she said she used to cover blemishes. But Chi-Chi didn't usually wear makeup, and especially not if her plans didn't include leaving the house. So why?

Biting the inside of his cheek, Goku stepped closer to her and reached out for the silvery silk robe she wore, which covered the rest of her body from his eyes. Her hand settled on his with a slight shake in her fingers, and they met eyes. He knew then that she was hiding something. Hiding what he'd done. And his heart ached at the realization, without even seeing a single mark.

"Chi-Chi," his voice cracked. "Let me see."

Her bottom lip trembled but she nodded, removing her hand from his so he could open the robe. "Goku, it's okay. Don't - don't be upset, sweetheart."

Hearing _that_ alone made him grimace, but when he saw what had been done to her perfect smooth skin, he stepped back with wide eyes. Bruises left splotches on her shoulders, her sides, her hips, even her legs. Fingerprints and thumbprints marked certain places, like around her waist and hips, where he had obviously gripped far too tightly. Even more damning was the large print on her breast where he must have squeezed too hard. 

He hated to think what else he had done. Chi-Chi was the toughest woman on the Earth. She could handle a lot. She _had_ handled a lot from him in the past already. They used to spar all the time, after all. But this...how could he lose control _this_ badly?

"Oh, Goku…" Chi-Chi whispered, rushing to close the distance between them and hold onto him. "I know you didn't mean it so don't look at me like that. Please. I'll survive."

He stood frozen in place, searching for his voice, finding it trapped in his throat. His wife clung to him and cried into his chest, her natural earthy scent mixing with the subtle lavender candle fragrance in the bathroom and the smells of a breakfast waiting for them in the other room. But he couldn't stop imagining what he could have done to cause such marks on his wife, understanding now that she had intended to use the makeup to hide every marred spot on her body. 

Chi-Chi continued to hang onto him, but he couldn't even find the willpower to wrap his arms around her. He didn't deserve to comfort her after what he'd done. He shouldn't touch her at all. She…

"Chi-Chi," he said at last. "You need to go. You don't need to be here. If I don't have any control around _you_ , there's no telling what else I'll do."

She shook her head vehemently. "No, Goku. You're not sending me away."

"Chi-Chi, you _have_ to," he groaned. "I can't promise to keep you safe. I -"

The sudden headache nearly brought him to his knees. If Chi-Chi hadn't been holding onto him, he would have fallen straight to the tile floor. Instead, she caught him and led him down gently, all while he held onto his head and tore at his hair.

_Not now, not now, not now…._

Even though he struggled to hang on, Goku couldn't fight the tug pulling him under, making him lose focus of the world around him.

~!~

_Send her away?_

_Oh no, we’re not doing that._

_She’s my wife. Mine. And she’s not going anywhere now._

~!~


	13. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Chi-Chi continues to live with Goku during his personality shifts in order to support him, but is it really the right decision?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder: Temporary Character Death is a tag. Sorry, not sorry.
> 
> Since I've been told that this could be triggering for those who have experienced an abusive relationship...here's your warning. It's complex, and it's definitely Kakarot and NOT Goku here, which Chi-Chi recognizes, but when I say "dealing with trauma" in the tags this is one of the kind of trauma things I'm talking about. Fair warning. (This is traumatic for both Chi and Goten especially and it will be a big point of contention in the future).

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 13 - Death

As the days rolled on, Chi-Chi received several phone calls from not only Gohan and Goten but Bulma and Krillin as well. They all wanted to know the same thing. How was she doing? How was Goku? Were they handling everything okay? 

Of course she didn’t go into any details that might bother any of them. Instead, she played it off as a new change to her husband that she would have to accept. So long as he didn’t get careless with his power and recklessly destroy whole  _ cities _ , then she could handle this side. This more Saiyan personality - as Bulma called it, thanks to what Vegeta said - made everyday activities and discussions harder to deal with than normal, but he would learn. A stubborn streak that had only been a minor character flaw in her Goku beforehand now raised itself to the forefront - and demanded sex so often it became almost unbearable.

Almost. 

Sure, she had never experienced such  _ violent _ sexual antics before, especially not with the way Goku always handled her as if she would break at the slightest wrong touch, but that didn’t mean she  _ hated _ this new forceful treatment. After all, the worst that happened was a slew of new marks and bruises, which nevertheless made Goku cringe away from her anytime he returned to his senses.

Which seemed to be happening less and less as the time marched forward - Goku returning to his normal, happier, sweeter self, that is. Even now, the other side hung around behind her as she tried to work on the new cracks in the wall. Cracks that were  _ his fault _ to begin with, but that he didn't seem concerned about in the least.

"How long is that gonna take, Chi-Chi?"

"Long enough," she said, firmly. "Have some patience or go out and buy me some more plaster for the walls that you keep breaking."

"Keh, no way, I hate shopping,” he said, standing behind her and leaning down to whisper in her ear. “I’d rather fuck you senseless again.”

“Goku!” She snapped, rolling her shoulder to shove him back. “Patience!”

He whined but thankfully pulled back this time. Chi-Chi had already commented on his change in language, but he didn’t seem to notice or care to guard his tongue. In fact, bringing it up only got him to drop into dirtier phrases with the intent of riling her up more. So she’d given up on getting him to speak like his normal self; instead, she put her effort into holding him back when he got too pushy.

It wasn’t too difficult; she wasn’t lying to those who called to check on her or anything. She could handle him. No matter what attitude he threw at her, Goku knew when she’d been pushed too far in the wrong direction and knew to follow her wishes. The small blessings, she supposed.

With a huff, Goku tightened the belt around the  _ gi _ Whis had given him, and made his way to the front door. “Fine, then. Come outside when you’re done. I’m going to exercise a little, but I’d love to spar against you like the old days, Chi-Chi.”

She blinked and turned toward him, though all she caught was the tips of his wild hair bouncing as he left her vision and went outside. Shaking her head, she sighed and muttered to herself. “Sometimes, I can’t tell which part of you is in control, Goku.”

Not that it mattered now. She had to finish this repair project on her own since Goku refused to lend a hand. Once before, he would have taken everything in hand and told her to relax. Now, he grumbled and complained and went outside to train while she did all the hard work around here. Well, she had practice from those seven years of his death, so, again, she could handle this.

Lifting the tube of plaster to one of the holes, she squeezed until it filled and moved onto the next. The smell of plaster and wood and paint filled the air. So many cracks needing repair day after day because of how Goku threw her around so recklessly when having sex. She had the bruises on her back to prove it if the cracks in the walls weren't enough, too. He could certainly wear her out, even before this darker, harsher streak to his sexual appetite, but she wished she had some sort of break from him to recover. 

Finishing the last touches on the plaster, Chi-Chi groaned as she stepped away and rubbed the sweat from her forehead. Her bangs, loose and free because Goku absolutely  _ insisted _ that she keep her hair down, were damp from all the sweat her activity had worked up. Her purple cheongsam - because the yellow one had been reduced to a tattered mess - dripped sweat and stuck to her skin as well. She heaved a deep breath and smiled at her hard work, nonetheless.

"Well, that's done," she murmured. "I'll worry about painting over everything later."

For now…

Goku wanted her outside.

Strange how it felt like she followed his every whim (or  _ almost _ every whim) now. Maybe a part of her was still scared of what he would do if she made this part of him angry. With all that terrifying power and force he controlled, Chi-Chi didn't want to risk him losing his top. 

Of course she told herself everything would be all right. She could handle him. She'd lasted how many days already with mostly this darker side in control? She could withstand whatever he threw at her.

Or could she? 

Finding a ribbon to tie her hair in a loose ponytail behind her back, Chi-Chi shook the thoughts away and went out to meet her husband. Sunlight streamed onto his body as he went through a string of forms, slow at first, then picking up to a speed she couldn't even hope to follow. For a moment, she watched from the doorway and smiled. She always did like to watch him go through his  _ kata _ and whatever else he decided to do for exercise.

It brought back memories of him doing push-ups in the kitchen. Shutting her eyes, she held back a giggle at the images, remembering when he'd be doing hand-stand push-ups and she would push him over to tease him into making out on the kitchen floor. Or when he'd be doing more regular push-ups and she'd slip underneath him until he broke out of his concentration from the pressure of having her so close. Those were good times, good memories to forever hold onto.

"Hey, Chi," she looked over at him, grinning at the excitement in his eyes. "You wanna spar?"

Lost in memories, avoiding the nagging warning in the back of her mind, Chi-Chi shrugged and closed the distance between them. "Why do you think I tied my hair back? Come on, then. I know you love fighting me."

His eyes brightened and he grinned, much like the Goku she remembered. "Great! You're really hot when you're fighting, you know."

"Goku!" She flushed, feeling off balance even before she took her stance. "I -"

She didn't get the chance to finish. Goku went on the offensive immediately and charged into her. The punch to her stomach took the wind out of her, but thankfully, it wasn't anything she had trouble handling. She jumped back with a grimace and prepared to give him something in return. 

But he came rushing forward again and she had to hold her arms up to block the attack this time. He smashed into her arms, making pain tingle all the way up her body as she slid back in the dirt. With a groan, she forced her arms to move and swing at him with overhand chops, interspersed with a kick to try to push him back. 

Goku sprang away and grinned. "You really are still good at this, huh?"

Breathing heavy, Chi-Chi glared back at him. "You could stand to be less forceful! I'm out of practice and you're-"

"Tch, that's boring," he said, cutting her off. "Besides, I'm already holding back a lot. I think you could handle even more."

Eyes widening, Chi-Chi snapped out of her memories with a jerk. "Goku, wait."

"Aw, come on, Chi," he said, the palm of his hand facing her as glowing golden energy pooled in the center. "I bet you can take it. Maybe I'll teach you how to fire energy, too. Wouldn’t that be fun?"

"Go-!"

Too late. Her voice cut off. The energy blast hit her full force and sent her flying back toward the house. The world around her dimmed down to a dark haze and time slowed to a crawl. Behind her, the wall of their house crashed into rubble and she fell amid the wood and plaster. She had the distinct feeling that she might be screaming or crying or both, but her ears wouldn't give her sound to hear any of it.

Instead, her world consisted of nothing else but the burning sensation of horrible, horrible pain.

~!~

Goku snapped back to his senses with a gasp. The headache receded and he groaned, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to remember the last thing he'd done. Holding a hand up to ward off the sun's glare, he stared into the sky and took a moment to breathe in the scents of nature all around him. 

For some reason, things felt different when he returned to reality this time. As if someone were shoving him to the front and demanding he deal with the emotions or the situation. But why? Why did he feel like that? That didn't make  _ any  _ sense. And what could have happened to -

He froze, bringing his hand back to his side at a sudden realization. Chi-Chi… Her  _ ki _ was fading fast. Where? Where was she? What could have happened while he was out of control? It couldn't be  _ his _ fault, could it?

Eyes looking in every direction as fast as he could think, Goku jerked himself in the middle of a spin when he finally locked onto her direct position. Ice ran down his spine at the sight and he ran across the grass in a panic. Shoving debris from the broken wall to the side, he found his wife laying in the rubble, coughing and staring up at him with shaking eyes. 

Chi-Chi was in pain. Oh, no, it  _ was _ his fault, wasn't it? Her  _ ki _ kept dipping lower and lower and he gasped back tears as he lifted her out of the mess of plaster and wood. 

"Chi-Chi?" He managed to croak out. "Babe, it's me. Can you hear me?"

"Goku…."

She grimaced and clenched her teeth and he knew, from the way her side looked and the blood flowing out, that there wasn't a quick way to save her. Senzu beans? Korin didn't have any more. He'd already checked on that after seeing the bruises on his wife. This...She…

"Chi-Chi, tell me," he shuddered, holding her hand, rubbing the back of it softly. "Did I lose control that badly? Did I really - ?"

The look in her eyes was all the answer he needed. Goku swallowed the words in his throat and gently brushed hair out of her face. It had actually happened. His worst fear. This wasn't a dream. Not a nightmare. The whole reason he had stayed away so long after reaching Super Saiyan...that loss of control...and it had happened. What had he done?

"I'm sorry. Babe, I'm so sorry," he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady as he talked to her, knowing it would be her last moments until somebody could revive her. Revive her with what dragon balls? He'd already used them. "I'll fix it. I'll bring you back as soon as I can and - and I'll have it all solved by then. I promise."

Her hand came up with an obvious effort, touching his chest, leaving a light streak of blood on his  _ gi _ . "Shh, sweetheart. Just...hold me."

Swallowing the rest of the promises on his lips, he took his wife in his arms and held her close to his chest. So much blood. Her body trembled and stiffened against his, and he knew she suffered. Chi-Chi suffered because of  _ him _ . 

He couldn't believe his worst nightmare had actually come to pass. Couldn't believe Chi-Chi was literally dying in his arms right now. Each breath came out harsher and softer. The glow from her  _ ki _ , the warmth he took so much solace in, faded out bit by bit. 

Until eventually...nothing remained. She stopped breathing and her  _ ki _ signature disappeared. Goku continued to hold her for a few more moments, lost in the shock and the grief, rocking back and forth in the grass. His eyes stung with the tears he held back. His jaw hurt from the strength with which he clenched it tightly.

Chi-Chi was dead. Gone.  _ Because of him. _

At some point, he managed to pick her up and set her aside. He didn't want to bury her, not just yet, but he couldn't keep holding her like this. He had to...had to...let it out...the frustration and anger and helplessness…he needed to get away.

So he stumbled to his feet and moved a short distance before he crashed into the ground, unable to make himself go any further. On hands and knees, he cried out and pounded fists in the dirt, shaking the earth. Tremors echoed from each strike and he only got faster and faster, harder and harder, until his  _ ki _ exploded and he  _ screamed _ . 

Wrapping himself in the Super Saiyan God  _ ki _ he let the tears fall and screamed until his voice went hoarse. Power flooded the air, electricity sparking from his transformation as he wailed and let it all go. Everything that had been building with this new headache, with these memory losses, these terrible acts of destruction… all that stress and pain, he pushed it out until he couldn't feel anything anymore. Until numbness was all that filled him.

"Dad?"

Goku jumped to his feet and spun at the voice, eyes growing wide when he saw his two sons hovering nearby. "Gohan?"

Gohan, wearing his green tracksuit, which told him his boy had been working out recently and had only come running at the explosion of  _ ki _ . "Dad, what happened?"

"I - you don't - He grimaced as the headache hit him right between the eyes. "You need to get out of here. You need to take Goten away right now, Gohan. Before I -"

He choked on the words.  _ Before I kill you too _ . His hands were shaking, his chest hurt, his legs felt weak. He wanted to throw up. This couldn't be happening. 

"Mom?" Goten’s voice; he shut his eyes on the inevitable. "Mom! Gohan! Mom's not moving! I can't feel her  _ ki  _ even when I look for it! She's - Gohan! Mom's dead! He killed her!  **_He killed her!_ ** "

Eyes snapping open, Goku turned away from the shock on Gohan’s face and stared at his youngest son. Power built around Goten, the ground cracking underneath him as the boy shook and screamed. Gold flashed as the Super Saiyan aura surrounded his son, anger clouding his vision. No, not just anger.  _ Rage _ . 

And that power  _ kept building _ .

Gritting his teeth against the wind rushing outwards from Goten’s position, Goku couldn't keep his eyes from his son. So much  _ ki _ flared around him, covering him, wrapping around him, much like what Goku had done earlier. The most common Saiyan response to grief: uncontrollable rage. 

Electricity snapped along the ground and Goku jumped back to avoid one of the larger sparks. He gaped as Goten’s power continued to rise. The golden hair on top of his son's hair spiked up further, reaching that far more jagged state. His fists were clenched and shaking as he roared his rage into the air, his muscles bulking up and most noticeably tearing the arms of the red T-shirt he wore. 

When the  _ ki  _ explosion finally settled, Goten’s screaming died out, and the sheer malice in the teal gaze sent toward Goku made him tense. "Goten…"

"You're going to pay for hurting Mom," Goten said, the Super Saiyan 2 aura crackling around him, drying the tears he shed with the heat he exuded. " **_You're going to pay!_ ** "

In the next blink, Goten flew toward him, his aura skimming along the ground. Goku held his hand up to block the obvious punch, squeezing his son's fist and pulling it off to the side. A kick came for him next, so Goku grabbed that with his other hand. 

"Goten, stop," Goku said as firmly and sternly as he could manage. "You have to calm down, son."

"Shut up!" Goten snapped, throwing an energy blast in Goku's face. "You're not my dad!"

Goku's eyes grew at the energy attack and the words, dropping Goten so the boy could fly away. He grimaced as a flash of pain hit his head. Then he frowned because that hadn't been the headache, though  _ that _ pain pounded hard, too. 

Glancing over his shoulder, he groaned. "Gohan, not you, too."

"Gohan!" Goten called from his other side. "Let's Kamehameha at the same time!"

Goku shook his head. The headache got worse with every second. He needed to get the boys to leave. 

But still, knowing his youngest had reached Super Saiyan 2…. He would probably feel a lot more pride if  _ he _ hadn't been the triggering cause. It  _ hurt _ to know his own son hated him that much right now. It hurt almost as much as the actual physical pain hammering into his skull.

"Goten, Gohan," he growled. "You need to calm down and leave. Right. Now."

White light filled his vision. He gasped, cursed when he realized what was happening, and then his world dropped away from him and he lost control.

~!~

Vegeta cursed as he shot away from Capsule Corporation. Bulma shouted on the ground behind him, waving a paintbrush in the air, complaining that they'd barely gotten started on the new paint job. Other things mattered more right now. He would deal with his angry wife later. 

Kakarot's  _ ki _ had flared and then disappeared in a tell tale sign of a transformation into god  _ ki _ . If that weren't enough, Kakarot's second spawn had jumped in sudden power not too long after his father. Vegeta gritted his teeth at the feel, knowing it meant Kakarot's brat had beaten his own to the second Super Saiyan transformation. 

Of course that kid probably had a good reason for it, and Vegeta had to admit to the sick feeling in his stomach at the realization. What else could make the brat transform so suddenly? The only threat around them was Kakarot himself. And Kakarot had been left alone with his wife for days. To have this sudden -

He jerked to a halt in the air, dodging past a stray energy blast and glaring down at the sight near the Son family household. Another curse left his lips when he saw both of Kakarot’s sons fighting their father. Goten shot off with a flurry of punches at Kakarot's head, only to be grabbed by the leg and thrown to the ground hard enough to make the boy spit up blood as he coughed and bounced back from the earth. Gohan, on the other hand, followed right behind Goten and tried to catch his father off guard to no avail. 

The older son went flying through the air with a  _ ki _ blast to the gut and since it was nearby, Vegeta caught the idiot. He could feel Gohan struggle to free himself and go back at it with his father, but Vegwta held him firm and jerked him back, flaring his own  _ ki _ until he reached the blue Super Saiyan form. 

"Gohan!" He growled. "Snap out of it!"

"Shut up, Vegeta!" Gohan snapped back, rage sparking in the teal gaze. "This doesn't concern you."

"The hell it does," Vegeta snorted, twisting Gohan’s arm behind his back and getting the younger Saiyan to cry out in shock. "Your father is still in there somewhere. You know that."

"He killed - "

"I know! But it doesn't matter, Gohan!" He twisted harder, bringing the boy's arm to the edge of breaking. "If you don't grab your brother and get out of here now, he'll kill you both and be even more distraught when he snaps out of it. Do you  _ want _ that?"

While the young Saiyan struggled and spat insults at him, Vegeta clenched his teeth and held on, refusing to back down. He turned his gaze to Kakarot and the younger son. Goten kept going at Kakarot over and over, being swatted away like a fly with each charge but getting back up and going for it again. That one had no hope of control right now.

He needed to get through to Gohan. Kakarot's older son should have far more sense. There was a reason Vegeta gave grudging respect to the man, even if Gohan had dropped his training and focused on a peaceful life of studies. Still. He had to get through to him faster and while he didn't want to break the young man's arm or anything too drastic… 

With a grunt, Vegeta punched Gohan hard in the center of his back. "Focus! I'll handle your father. You need to get your brother away from him. Before. Anymore. Damage. Can be. Done."

Gohan screamed with each jolt to his wrist or back, but eventually the Super Saiyan transformation dropped and the young man whimpered. "Right. Right, I know. I know, Vegeta."

"That's better," Vegeta smirked as he dropped his hold on Kakarot's oldest. "Take your brother and get out of here."

"Right."

While Gohan sparked back into his transformation with more control - he wouldn't be able to pull Goten away without it - Vegeta turned his attention down to the ground of the Son family's yard that had become a wrecked battleground. The younger son still shot electricity from his powerful new form, but he currently rested on hands and knees in the dirt, coughing up blood. Kakarot hovered over the boy, no doubt spouting some kind of nonsense since he wasn't attacking anymore.

Grunting, Vegeta landed on the ground not too far from where they resided. Kakarot barely spared him a glance before returning to mocking his younger son. No doubt trying to get the boy to come up and fight more, a perfect Saiyan response to their child's rage - egging them on for more passion and more power.

Having had quite enough of this nonsense already, Vegeta lifted a hand and shot a  _ ki _ blast at Kakarot's back. "Kakarot! Your fight is with me now!"

The Saiyan turned and smirked, hands on his sides. "What? And miss the chance to train my son? You've got to be kidding."

"Tch. That's not training," Vegeta spat. "They'll forever be pathetic anyway. What's the point?"

Narrowed eyes met him and he knew he'd touched a nerve. "That's not true. You're just jealous."

"Pft. Jealous? Of a weak brat like that? Not on your life."

Energy coalesced into being around Kakarot and his blue aura flared, eyes hard. That was the only warning before the other Saiyan appeared in front of him, a well timed punch to the gut putting Vegeta off balance for a half a second. He took the punch and ran with it, though, reaching out to grab his rival's arm and throw him off to the side as hard as he could. He watched the blue aura skimming into the distance and followed quickly behind, trusting in Gohan to take care of his brother and get out while they could.

Kakarot flew back and met Vegeta in a hard impact of power, though Vegeta blocked the first and second attacks without problem. The battle heated up, blows being traded. First a kick to his side and Vegeta grunted at and responded to by spinning away only to swing back around to meet a fist to the face though he managed to land the same thing on Kakarot. 

Spit flying he flew back and wiped his mouth, shooting a couple of energy beams at his rival. "Pathetic son, pathetic wife. Is that why you killed her, Kakarot?"

The other Saiyan froze in the air mid strike, growling deep in his throat. "You're lying."

"Hah! You think I am?" Vegeta gestured back toward the man's house. "Her dead body is over there.  _ Your _ fault."

Kakarot stared back at him, the twitching eyebrows and frown on his face making Vegeta realize this side had no idea what he'd done. As could be evident by his next defiant scream. "You're lying!  **_You're lying!_ ** "

Vegeta had more nasty words prepared, but they caught in his throat. The man before him was losing control. Fists clenched, body shaking, energy spiraling everywhere. And then...the blue aura disappeared and Kakarot dropped to his knees in the earth below, hands digging into the grass. 

Hovering for a moment in bewildered confusion, Vegeta cleared his throat. "Did that - ?"

"Yeah, it worked, Vegeta," Kakarot murmured, shoulders shaking, head facing the earth and refusing to look up. "Thanks. Are the boys okay?"

Landing on the ground, Vegeta shrugged. "Depends. Physically, they're fine. Mentally and emotionally I think they're a little wrecked."

"Heh. I don't blame them."

Frowning at the cracks he heard in his rival's voice, Vegeta stepped closer. "Do you - " He cleared his throat, feeling awkward even asking such a thing. "Is there anything you'd like me to do?"

Kakarot shook his head. "Besides keeping everyone away from me? I don't think so."

"Right…" Vegeta hovered for a few moments more. "I'm sorry this is what happened."

"Yeah," Kakarot sighed, a sob making it past his lips, though Vegeta ignored it. "Me too."

Considering the awkward state of things, Vegeta took off into the sky in the next few beats. His only goal now was to think of somewhere they could hold Kakarot. Maybe talk to Bulma about something they could do to keep him under guard. He was too unstable. 

Far too unstable to be safe around anyone right now.

~!~

It should have been raining. Storms should have blown in and echoed the emotions he was feeling. Darkness and shadows should have met him when he came to, not the bright sunlight. Not the chirping and chatter of unsuspecting animal life. Not the cool breeze ruffling the grass between his legs, clenched in his hands.

If he hadn't already used so much energy, he might have exploded for the second time. The sense of his  _ ki _ seeping out in waves, the warmth it created as it left his body, he wanted to feel that again. So at least he could maybe feel something.

But he was too tired to let it all go again. Too exhausted. Too worn. The ever-pounding headache was still there. Everything else had gone numb but  _ that - _

Goku grimaced as he brought his hands to his head, digging his fingers into his hair as if he could pull out the thing that had caused all this in the first place. Why was this happening?  _ Why? _ He had never lost control. Not like this. Not to the point of forgetting his own actions. Not since Namek and Yardrat. What was he like when it happened? Scaring Goten,  _ killing Chi-Chi… _ how could he do something like that? How?  _ Why? _

“ _ You mean you don't like the idea that this could have been the real you if you'd never hit your head in the first place.” _

Something Vegeta said while they were hunting dragon balls came back to him; the other Saiyan was right. He  _ didn't _ like the idea that this could have been the real him. Everything was all wrong. He never considered himself to be perfect or anything but  _ this _ -

How could he kill her? How could  _ any part of him _ be okay with killing her?

A twinge in his head, a sickness in his stomach, and he somehow crawled over to her dead body. “Chi-Chi.”

She looked so serene, even in death, even with the ground being a wreck around her. Long black hair down around her shoulders, matted in blood in spots here and there. Blood that was on his hands, too. Although it was drying now, he was still covered in it, and even now he wanted,  _ needed _ to pick her up again and cradle her body in his arms. Tears made silent tracks down his face as the reality of the situation set in, as he held her lifeless form and knew it was by his own hand that she'd died.

“ _ Hold me.” _

Her last words echoed through his pounding head as he rocked back and forth in the grass, as he tried to feel past the sickness in his gut, the cold slowly taking over any little feeling he had left.

“I'll fix it,” he muttered, echoing what he had told her before she died. “I'll bring you back, Chi, and I'll have everything back to normal by then. I promise.”

_ I promise. _


	14. Struggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goten struggles to control his new transformation. Gohan struggles to think straight so he can help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that wait. Holiday exhaustion got the better of me. I really am getting old, huh? ;P

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 14 - Struggles

Goten shook and coughed as he continued to glare toward the place where he knew  _ that guy _ still lived. Rage filled him like never before and he wanted to jump on that urge to  _ kill _ the person responsible. He wanted to jump on that so badly. That guy not only stole his dad from him, but now he had killed his mom, too! Goten  _ needed _ to enact revenge; his blood  _ boiled _ with the need.

“Goten,” Gohan said as he held onto him. “Breathe.”

“I - I - I don’t  _ want _ to, Gohan!” Goten shouted as he fought against the arms of his big brother. “Let me go! I want to - I have to -”

“I know!” Gohan snapped, squeezing him tightly. “We need to let Vegeta handle him, okay? We aren’t a match and -”

“I don’t care!”

With a burst of energy, Goten shoved the arms away from him. He sprang from the hold of his brother and shot off into the sky, turning away to stick his tongue out. Angry tears filled his eyes, leaving tracks down his cheeks, and he couldn’t stop shaking. Meanwhile, Gohan gaped at him, hovering in the air with his arms out.

He couldn’t believe his brother had chosen to quit. Their mom had been killed by that  _ monster _ and Goten wouldn’t accept the idea that they didn’t stand a chance. Deep down, he knew he stood no chance against the god  _ ki _ of the blue Super Saiyan. He knew that! But it shouldn’t matter!

His mom was  _ gone _ . That was all that mattered now. And the guy who did it still breathed. That wasn’t right. Goten had to do something. 

“Even if you’re too scared, Gohan,” Goten said, spitting the words out across the air. “Just like last time! I don’t care! I’m going to get him for what he did to mom!”

“Goten, don’t -”

Shaking his head, he gathered his energy about him and rushed backwards through the sky. He spun around, the tears falling and dropping behind him in the wind. His hair slapped against his head as he flew away from Gohan as fast as he could. He didn’t want to be caught and held back anymore. He wanted to  _ kill! _

Though as his bangs danced in front of his vision, he grit his teeth and scowled. His hair looked too much like that monster. He didn’t want to be anything like that guy. His dad was gone. That wasn’t his dad anymore. Something had happened to his dad and now there was only this  _ jerk _ . When he got the chance, Goten would cut off his spikes and force his hair to do something different; he’d throw away those figures and rip up those posters. There was no reason to hold him up as some special hero anymore. Not after what that guy had done. 

Electricity snapped around him as he flew and raced through the skies. Birds dove out of his way, but he kept going. Energy rushed through his body, spurned by the heated anger burning in his chest. He missed his house and kept flying. Faster and farther. On and on and on. 

He circled the world as he tried to control his emotions. As he tried to think of what he could do to get revenge for his mom’s death. Tears refused to stop falling and he sniffed even as he screamed and rushed about faster.

In the end, though, he had no plan and he landed on the roof of his house with a snarl.  _ That guy _ sat in the grass, holding his mother’s body, and Goten wanted to lash out even more at the sight. How could  _ he _ sit there and cry when Goten was the one who had lost one of his rocks in this world? Goten was the one who couldn’t stop crying here. How could  _ that guy _ show any emotion about what he had done? It wasn’t right!

When dark eyes snapped up and caught his own, Goten scowled. “You monster!” 

The man flinched back a little but then those eyes narrowed and the voice of his dad - but it wasn’t his dad! - shouted up at him. “Goten! Leave! Go to Gohan! Don’t come back here!”

“I won’t! You -”

“ **_Now, son!_ ** ”

His heart skipped a beat and Goten rose into the air and ran away before his brain could react further. He shook his head even as he looked behind him and forced himself to stop and hover and think while the sun warmed his back.  _ That _ had sounded like his dad, at least when his dad was mad enough to put his foot down, which happened so rarely. It reminded him of when his mom had to scold him, and the ache in his heart made tears course down his face anew. 

“Mom...Dad really is still in there, isn’t he?” With a sniff, he clenched his fists at his side and felt the anger rise. “But he killed you! It’s not Dad if he killed you, Mom!”

_ Memories hit him of that first time he’d met his dad. Standing behind his mom as everyone else crowded the beloved Saiyan who had sacrificed himself for the world, the one they all called a hero. Goten had been both nervous and excited. He’d had stories told to him, stories from Gohan, but nothing compared with meeting the man for real. How often did the dead get to keep their bodies and come back for one special day? _

_ Heart pounding, he hid behind his mother’s skirts until his dad pushed the others aside and took a few steps closer. Goten stared up at the halo and the hair that matched his own. He met the bright, kind, soft eyes and introduced himself with a trembling breath. His dad gave his own name and for a couple more breaths, Goten couldn’t do anything else but stare. _

_ Then he’d run into those arms, knowing this guy would always love and protect him and do everything possible to make him feel happy and safe. Warmth filled him at being so easily accepted by his father, at being picked up and held, at hearing the man’s laugh and knowing everything was all right when Goku was around, just like everyone had always said. _

Well, now things were different. Now his father had lost to some monster. Even if he still fought, it didn’t matter. But, Goten had heard his dad’s voice and reacted like any child would to the frustration and harsh bark of command from a parent. His mother had taught him well, after all.

Hovering here, Goten closed his eyes and felt the unstable transformation drop away. It hurt. Everything  _ still _ hurt so much. But he couldn’t take his anger out on that guy anymore. He still didn’t believe it was his dad, that it was some monster controlling his father, but he couldn’t fight him anymore because - because there  _ had _ been something there of his father after all.

Gohan was right. Fighting him wouldn’t do anything anyway. They needed to think of something else, but what?

And beyond that, what could they do to protect their mom? Could they bring her back with dragon balls and convince her not to trust that monster anymore? He needed to talk to Gohan. He needed - he needed to cling to someone right now anyway.

~!~

Gohan winced as his younger brother went flying away in the air at a speed that made him hesitant to chase. Instead, he hovered in the air and rubbed one of his arms, finally noticing the blood coating parts of his green tracksuit. He sighed. Fighting his dad had been a mistake, whether or not it felt justified at the time and still  _ did _ feel justified, if he were being honest with himself.

If not for Vegeta stepping in, things could have gone even more horribly wrong. Thankfully, all they had to deal with was his mother’s death now, on top of his father’s insane personality flips. Goten may have flown off yelling about fighting their dad again, but a check on his  _ ki _ reassured Gohan that his brother wouldn’t be doing any such thing. Goten had found a new way to handle his emotions - by flying around the Earth however many times it took him to calm down. 

A good way to let out all that excessive rage, too. Considering that, Gohan let him go and hovered as he tried to think of what to do now. His research hadn’t gotten very far, yet. A personality disorder, sure, but he still couldn’t pinpoint  _ which one _ . Maybe he should finish out this current degree and then switch to psychology so he could feel more in the know, find a way to help his dad, even if that path would take too long.

Unless they could lock his dad up somewhere and wait.

He shook his head at the prospect. He didn’t like the idea of imprisoning the one who had been the Earth’s savior time and time again. A sickness hit his stomach just at the thought. There had to be something else they could do, some other way to help his dad control the monster inside him. 

Of course, that would have to wait, too. He had to get home and talk to Videl. Holding in his emotions about his mother’s death was going to weigh on him if he didn’t let it out soon, and she would understand the need to talk through this. Considering everything that had happened, Gohan felt he was doing a pretty good job keeping calm now, but he could feel it bubbling in his chest, an ache wanting to rip its way out and drown him. 

So, right, home.

Spinning around in the air, Gohan decided to leave Goten alone for now, though he kept a close watch on his brother’s energy signature just in case things decided to get dicey again. He traveled home with thoughts of his mother and father swarming his mind. How many times had he tried to convince his mom to leave? How many times had she told him everything would be fine? And after all that, after so many days of surviving that fear and pushing it to the side, reassuring himself and Goten that their mom could handle herself, here they were with their mother dead because of their father snapping.

He shuddered as he landed on the front lawn of his house. To his surprise, someone stood under the awning of the doorway. Someone he hadn’t seen in a while. Gaping up at the green Namekian he called mentor and friend these days, Gohan walked forward and tried to think of something to say.

“Piccolo?” Apparently that was all he could force out of his mouth right now. “What?”

His old mentor smiled, as much as Piccolo could smile, and then dropped it. “I felt what happened, sort of. Mind explaining?”

Gohan tensed. “Yeah. Uh. Long story short? Dad killed Mom.”

Saying the words made his vision swim for a minute, and he had to squat down in the grass to keep his head clear. As if from some place distant, he heard the front door opening, heard Videl ask a few questions, and then his wife sat beside him in the grass. She grabbed his hand and refused to let go, being that presence he so desperately needed. 

A part of him wondered if Pan was doing all right, but he could trust Videl not to leave the baby alone. If anything, Piccolo could handle watching her for a few minutes, and his Namekian ears would have no trouble picking up her cries. He  _ was _ pretty proud of his ability to calm Pan down and knowing every little thing to dote on her perfectly. 

Gosh, thinking of parenting right now wasn’t a good idea. He had to flop back on the grass, finding that he laid against Videl more than anything and tried to smile, only to feel his face break down. His parents might as well both be gone now. His mom because she had died, and his father because he couldn’t control the darker personality within him. He’d always had at least one of them to be his rock in this world, and now he had neither. He hadn’t felt this alone since Piccolo had left him in the wilderness as a training exercise.

“Gohan,” Videl murmured. “I’m here for you.” 

He reached out into the void and clung to her, taking in the scent of her latest perfume. Some kind of peach smell, reminding him of the countryside where he grew up. Of the farmer’s markets his parents would take him to as a child each year. Of his mother holding his hand. Of his father giving him different foods to taste.

“I don’t know how to handle this, Videl,” he muttered. “I can’t believe this is even happening. It feels like some kind of bad dream.”

Soothing hands brushed back his hair. “I know. I can’t imagine how it feels. It hurts  _ me _ because your parents have always been so kind and welcoming and they don’t deserve this. None of you deserve this.”

“But it’s happening anyway.”

“You’ll figure it out, Gohan,” Videl said. “You’re so close. I know you are.”

He shook his head and sat up, feeling the world fade back into color. She had her arms around him, but he shifted positions to hang onto her hands and squeeze around her fingers. Her hands were calloused from all the fighting she still partook in, even though they were worn down and not as obvious now since she’d been taking care of the baby. Her eyes met his with a sweet, understanding gleam, the tear tracks on her cheeks making him realize there were tracks on his own. 

This was so rough. Why was the world around them so peaceful? Bees and butterflies in their bushes. A clear, clean, freshly mowed lawn. Piccolo hovering and holding Pan in his arms - because apparently the baby  _ had _ needed attention at some point. 

Meanwhile, Gohan felt like he spent more time crying than he had since he was a child himself. Except time had disappeared from him in the process. He couldn’t even remember letting it all out. He just wrapped himself in that calm presence of his wife, searching for the smell and  _ ki _ and heartbeat that comforted him during all the rough patches of life.

After a few more moments of silent contemplation, Gohan got to his feet, bringing Videl with him, and wiped the tears from his eyes. It was time to brainstorm a solution. He couldn't sit and read anymore. He needed to do something, anything. Action of some sort would be better than sitting around waiting for a fix to drop in his lap.

Piccolo met his gaze. "I'll help Dende keep an eye on your father."

Gohan grimaced. "Yeah, best thing we can do until a better solution presents itself. Vegeta really is the only one who can fight him, and I think the only one who can trigger him back to normal for some reason, too."

"Vegeta, huh?" Piccolo said, gazing off in the distance. "That makes sense."

Gohan grunted. Sure, he'd pretend that it made perfect sense, then. Let Vegeta be the only one to know how to calm his father down, but what could they do? Force his dad to stay somewhere at Capsule Corporation guarded by Vegeta? He didn't think either one of them would be happy at that idea, especially not if it would put Bulma and the unborn baby in her womb in jeopardy.

Ugh, this was so hard! Why couldn't he think of a good solution?

Rubbing his head, Gohan cursed under his breath, earning a shocked glance from Videl. He shrugged, she hummed, and no one mentioned the slip of his tongue. Pan slept comfortably in Piccolo's arms and she wouldn't be able to recognize or repeat a word or phrase like that anyway.

Before he had a chance to get his thoughts churning, Goten landed in the front lawn. No longer in Super Saiyan, his younger brother practically ran across the grass to wrap arms around Gohan’s waist and cling. No words came from Goten, so he did what he always did when his brother needed him. He let him cling and he patted his back and shoulders to be as comforting as possible. 

“Hey, Goten,” he said after a while. “How are you holding up?”

Goten sniffed and pulled away, rubbing at his eyes. “I wanna wish Mom back.”

Gohan grimaced. “We can’t do that. Dad already used the dragon balls to wish back everyone in that city. We’ll have to wait.”

“I don’t wanna wait!” Goten snapped, pulling away and stomping his feet in the grass; was it Gohan’s imagination or was his younger brother finally gaining some inches in height? “There has to be a way to get the dragon balls again, Gohan. Maybe we can ask Dende.”

Even while he shook his head, Piccolo stepped forward. The Namekian handed Pan off to Videl and gazed down at the both of them. While Gohan had definitely gained in height after his major growth spurt in his teenage years, Piccolo still towered over most everyone in the world. 

“Dende can’t change the rules,” Piccolo said. “But Earth’s dragon balls aren’t the only ones in existence.”

Videl tilted her head. “Really? Where else could you get them from?”

Gohan stared at Piccolo, glanced to Videl, then shook his head. “That’s a crazy idea. New Namek has them as well, I’m sure, but we don’t even know where that planet is yet. No one’s actually gone there the normal way before.”

"But - But, Gohan l, we  _ have  _ to wish Mom back!" Goten cried, pounding into Gohan's side as he wailed. "I need her back. I was supposed to keep her safe and I failed. I need to fix it. I need my mom!"

Feeling his heart break at his brother's words, Gohan toyed with his bottom lip. He glanced to Videl. She met his eyes, then gave a small smile and nodded. Of course. Videl would probably go with them if she didn't have a baby, but she would be all right waiting, at least this time. 

Next, he looked to Piccolo. His mentor nodded as well, though he kept his typical stoic expression. It had been Piccolo's idea, after all, and the Namekian had already promised to watch his dad. Not that there was much Piccolo or Dende could do in this situation, but it felt nice to have their support at least.

"All right," Gohan breathed, squatting down to meet Goten’s eyes. "We'll find New Namek and wish Mom back as soon as possible."

"You mean it?"

Reaching out to ruffle his brother's hair, Gohan was surprised at how calm he could make his voice sound. "Yeah. I'll talk to Bulma tomorrow. For now, let's go inside and pack for the trip."

Goten wiped his face and then nodded. "Right! Thanks, Gohan! I knew you would understand."

The smile that fell on Gohan’s face felt a little forced. He could almost hear the words Goten wasn't speaking. His brother had more faith in him than anyone else, even - no,  _ especially - _ compared to their dad now. As much as Gohan had to agree considering the circumstances, it still sent an ice cold ache all the way through his chest. 

Would Goten ever be able to repair his relationship with their father? Or was that thinking too far into the future? 

He sighed. One thing at a time. That's all he could do for now. One thing at a time. 

~!~

In the middle of the night, Videl woke with a start. Gohan slept beside her, calm and cool and finally settled down enough to relax after such a rough day. She sat up and took a moment to study how his face actually seemed less drawn, less worn, less tense while he slept. Good for him. She was glad he could find some relief in his dreams, and she had to reach out and run fingers through his hair and push back his bangs. 

Gohan murmured something indecipherable at the touch but otherwise stayed still and silent. Good. She wouldn't want to wake him. Though she did have to wonder what had snapped  _ her _ awake so suddenly. She couldn't remember any dreams or nightmares, and Pan still slept without a sound. 

A mother's instinct preparing her ahead of time for her child waking up? Chi-Chi had told her how such things could happen, often at the most inopportune times. 

Or was it a nightmare that had startled her awake? One that she'd forgotten as soon as her eyes opened? No, that didn't make much sense, even if there would be probable cause. After what Gohan had told her, anything could happen in her dreams. Killed by her own husband. Something that should only happen in nightmares, but then Chi-Chi had met such a fate the other day.

With a sigh and a quiet shudder, Videl slipped out of bed and wrapped a maroon robe around her otherwise only underwear clad body. The fluff against her skin brought a substitute of warmth for the sleeping husband she was leaving in bed. She'd have to get used to sleeping without him, since he had planned to leave in a spaceship to search out some distant planet.

All to wish their mother back. Well. After seeing Gohan’s reaction - and then Goten’s - she didn't blame them. They needed something to do. 

Meanwhile, she'd be left on Earth with Goku roaming around unable to control himself. Or whatever personality trait was causing him to snap. Videl shuddered. She hoped someone would come up with a solution soon. She would fight Goku if she had to, but defending herself and Pan against her own father-in-law seemed like some sort of sick joke.

The sick feeling in her stomach grew tighter and she shook the thoughts away. She needed to stop thinking about the disastrous unprecedented situation. There was nothing she could really do at this point, except to support the boys in their decision and make sure they had a happy home when she returned. As much as she wanted to go with them - well,  _ Pan _ still needed her mother and bringing the baby out to space would be a terribly irresponsible idea. 

With another sigh, Videl slid into a pair of fluffy red slippers and walked out of the room with the soft footsteps she could manage. Gohan didn’t budge an inch. She sent a smile over her shoulder at him, then shut the bedroom door and made her way down the hallway toward the kitchen. Something to settle her upset stomach would be good. Crackers or bread, maybe. Of course, she had nausea medicine she could take as well, from the days of morning sickness. She wondered if she’d ever have a second child. Gohan spoke as if it were unlikely, even though they were open for more.

A clatter of dishes on the counter brought Videl up short. Darkness covered the living room and entryway and the kitchen beyond it, so she had to pause to wait for her eyesight to adjust. All while her heartbeat pounded in her chest. Narrowing her eyes, Videl focused on the energy within her body, making herself ready to fly at a moment’s notice. Burglars weren’t a fear for her, but she had to wonder how they’d managed to get into the house without a sound up until now.

And what were they doing in the kitchen anyway?

“Mom…” A familiar voice mumbled in the darkness. “I’m hungry, Mom.”

_ Oh, Goten… _

Taking a breath, Videl stepped into the kitchen, reaching for the light. Before she could click it on, the area filled with a sudden glow - as well as a heart wrenching scream. Eyes widening, Videl watched as a sleepy - or still sleep-walking? - Goten exploded into light and power in her kitchen. Cabinet doors flew open and dishes clattered everywhere, some falling to the tile and shattering into a pile of glass. 

“You killed her!”

Videl held her hands up as Goten screamed, his finger pointing in her direction. Maybe gathering her  _ ki _ earlier had been a mistake. The boy’s eyes were closed, even with tears leaking from the eyelids, so he clearly still slept and he’d snapped into that volatile Saiyan transformation while having his sleep-walking nightmare. 

Pushing her energy beneath her, Videl floated above the floor and then did her best to soar backwards away from the sleeping Saiyan child. Goten locked onto her movement and rushed toward her, energy and lightning crackling around him. She flinched, bringing her arms up to attempt whatever defense she could manage against the much stronger Saiyan, but a form flashed into being from behind her in less time than it took her to blink.

“You all right, Videl?”

_ Gohan. _

Relief washed over her. Her shoulders relaxed and she floated down to the floor. She mumbled a quick affirmation and then frowned at the scene, heart still racing in her chest. Golden auras filled the previously darkened house. Goten’s aura cracked with more electricity and Videl jumped back with a sudden jerk. Gohan grunted as he held onto his brother’s fist, refusing to let go of the sleeping Saiyan child.

While Goten wore a thick pair of green pajamas, Gohan only had on his pajama pants, a bright yellow that looked odd with the golden aura of his Super Saiyan  _ ki _ circling him. Gohan also had on a white tank top with a few little tears, thanks to their bedtime antics the other day; she hadn’t gotten around to repairing the shirt and it was something he wore to bed practically every night. He clearly hadn’t spent much time getting ready after being forced awake so suddenly. 

Thank goodness, too. Goten had almost attacked her. In that state, it probably would have been a nightmarish response. Videl considered herself a tough woman, and by most standards she could handle any fight that was thrown in her direction. But when it came to these Saiyans, she didn’t stand a chance, so thinking of how close Gohan’s younger brother had been to smashing her face...she gulped.

“Goten.” Gohan’s voice sounded unnaturally soft and smooth surrounded by such volatile energy. “You’re safe. You’re at my home. It’s the middle of the night, and you need to wake up.”

While her husband continued to talk gently to his little brother, Videl thought of Pan; strange how the baby hadn’t uttered a single cry yet. Shaking her head, she focused back on the brothers. If Pan wasn’t awake, it was strange, but she’d take the small blessings.

Goten’s fist finally relaxed from his punch, and his arm dropped to his side slowly once Gohan released him. “Gohan, I - I can’t control it - it’s - it’s too much.”

“I know, I know,” Gohan said, setting hands on his brother’s shoulders and looking the boy in the eye. “Come outside with me and we’ll work on it right now. I’m sorry. I should have worked with you right away.”

“It...feels funny,” Goten whined, bringing a hand to his chest and squeezing at his shirt. “I don’t like this. I can’t make it stop.”

“It’s okay, Goten. It’s not easy. Now come on. I forgot you were a sleepwalker, but we can both apologize to Videl later, huh?”

“Huh?”

Videl sighed as the child looked up at her. At least he was awake now. He still trembled a little and breathed heavily as if holding in way too much power for his small body to control. She wanted to run to him and tell him everything would be okay. That they would be successful in finding New Namek. That his mother would be wished back in no time. That his father would go back to normal.

But she didn’t have the heart to step in between the brothers right now. Let Gohan handle things. Even as Goten looked around the room and noticed the wreck in the kitchen, even as the boy tried to shout an apology out to her, Gohan led him out to the backyard with only a single glance back at her. 

Pressing her lips together, she nodded, then made her way back to Pan’s bedroom. With all the excitement, it really was a wonder the baby continued to sleep. Nothing had moved or shifted at all in the room back here. Videl smiled as she stood over the crib and watched her daughter rest amid the soft blanket made by Chi-Chi. And in her arms, Pan gripped a little stuffed rabbit, a gift from her grandfather, Goku.

“I hope things can go back to normal,” Videl murmured, reaching over to rub her daughter’s back. “I really do. It wouldn’t be right for you to grow up without Goku around to lighten every room you’re in. I’d hate for you to miss that wholesome, comforting presence of his. I really hope he can go back to that without any more troubles. This has been enough heartbreak for this family, if you ask me.” 


	15. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Krillin gets an unexpected visitor]

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 15 - Friendship

Krillin stared at the fishtank in his apartment and watched the different colored fish swim around practically aimlessly. He couldn’t imagine living in a world so small. Back and forth constantly. Always to the same places. Never anything new. 

Heh.

Then again, it might have been nice to live such a simple life. Considering all that had happened recently, Krillin could do without any more adventures falling into his lap. He wasn’t even the one the craziness centered around or anything; he just insisted on being a part of it when his friend needed help.

Wincing, he glanced over at the television set where Marron sat glued to the screen. His daughter wore a pink dress with a long sleeved white shirt underneath it. She sat on her legs, which were bent and curled up on the rug, her bare feet showing the only sign of dirt on her. Well, that’s what happened when she insisted on walking around barefoot everywhere - even when she visited the older neighbors next door for a daily treat of pudding. 

Krillin sighed. Life sure had been simple before the city had gone up in smoke and Eighteen had experienced that weird malfunction and  _ Goku _ had gotten all depressed because he’d lost control. He leaned back on the couch and twiddled his thumbs, trying to erase the image of his best friend looking so devastated after they’d called the Eternal Dragon. Shenron hadn’t been much help beyond bringing the city back and wishing for everyone’s memories - except for those who knew the truth - to be erased. Goku had gone home after that, but…

But Krillin couldn’t shake the feeling that something  _ awful _ would happen again sooner or later. Not after what he’d seen. He wanted to believe in his friend, but that nagging sensation in the back of his head said he should have paid more attention to the bursts of  _ ki _ popping up near Goku’s house yesterday. Should he swing by and check on them? Would Goku appreciate that? Or had he snapped again? Is that why he’d felt Vegeta over there too? And what had happened to make Goten’s  _ ki _ jump up so dramatically?

So many questions. He should call or something. Yet -

“Hmph,” Eighteen murmured beside him on the couch, though her gaze was focused completely on Marron. “Are you dragging your feet for a reason?”

“Huh?” He blinked. “You think I’m - well maybe I am but -”

“You saw him when he snapped, right?” Eighteen turned her blue eyes on him. “That’s why you’re hesitating.”

“Ah! Well, I mean -”

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I didn’t really think it through, but,” he groaned, knowing he couldn’t deny his fear, “yeah, I guess.”

Eighteen sighed at him and nudged his arm. She didn’t say anything else, but he could see the slight disappointment in her eyes. However, since she didn’t say a word to him Krillin knew she could understand his hesitation. Seeing Goku act like  _ that _ had really shaken him, even if he wanted to continue to support his friend.

This darker personality was going to rip things apart if they weren’t careful. There had to be  _ something _ he could do besides just sitting here. Check in with Chi-Chi and Goku? Call them like an annoying friend who wouldn’t let them have time alone? But after everything he’d felt, that wouldn’t be too bad, right? He’d be justified...right?

With a groan, Krillin reached up and ran fingers through his hair at a fast speed, getting faster with each brush. “Ah, man, this is driving me crazy!”

“Huh?” Marron asked from the rug. “What is?”

Looking up at her innocent eyes, Krillin froze his hands in place on top of his head and laughed awkwardly. “Oh. Nothing. Don’t worry about it, firefly. Go back to your -”

A jerk of her head toward the door stopped his words, mostly because Marron climbed to her feet and rushed to the small apartment entryway without an explanation. “Who’s at the door, Dad? Who would knock that softly, huh?”

“Knock?” He blinked, turning to Eighteen, who shrugged. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“I did! I did! Someone’s here!”

His wife nodded at him to go check it out, so Krillin got to his feet and stuffed his hands in his loose corduroy pants pockets. His house shoes hit the floor with more force than intended as he frowned. He hadn’t heard anyone knocking, and he couldn’t really feel any obvious  _ ki _ signatures either. Maybe he’d been so focused on the conversation and his thoughts, but he found it strange nonetheless.

Still, Marron seemed insistent enough. Her blond pigtails bounced as she hopped at the door, waiting for him. Considering the gravity of the recent situation, she had been less interested in opening the door for visitors herself. Which was a safe habit so he hadn’t pressed her at any point. She’d get over that little fear eventually. Hopefully. Trauma could do crazy things to children, after all. 

“Are you  _ sure _ you heard something, Marron? I doubt anyone is actually -” he twisted the knob, opened the door halfway and then froze at the sight in front of him. “Oh. It’s Goku. Hi.”

“Hey, Krillin,” Goku said, rubbing the back of his head. “Uhm. Do you think I could ask you for a favor?”

“Uh…”

At the sight of his best friend standing in his doorway, Krillin frowned. What was he doing here? Marron jumped back and hid behind Krillin almost immediately after the open door revealed their visitor. He couldn’t blame her. Goku didn’t exactly look inviting, or comforting, or warm and happy like his usual self. Plus Marron had been told by Goten not to stand too close to Goku. 

Another thing he hoped would be solved with enough time. Marron was at an age old enough to remember the city being destroyed, but she hadn’t seen Goku do that weird switching thing, so she didn’t have as much trauma as, say, Goten, who had apparently witnessed something awful firsthand.

Still, his friend had come to him for help. So he shook off his fear and his worries, even as Marron hid behind him. Krillin put on a wide smile and held his hand out after opening the front door all the way.

“Yeah, sure, Goku, you don’t really need to ask,” he said. “Wanna come in and talk about whatever’s eating you?”

“Heh.” Goku shifted in place, obviously taking note of Marron’s position, before he grimaced and stepped back. “Uh - no, no, I don’t really think I should.” 

Krillin felt his eyebrows raise high on his head. “Really?”

Sure, looking at Goku revealed his friend not in the best of states, but he didn’t think Goku would come all the way over here only to step back and refuse to hang out. The Saiyan’s  _ gi _ top had been ripped so much it barely hung onto his shoulders and his pants were kind of a mess, so Goku had clearly been in some kind of fight. Had that been what he’d felt yesterday? That would make sense. 

Of course, Goku seemed to be his normal self now - or at least not the bloodthirsty killer of his darker personality. He hadn’t cleaned up from the fight yesterday; he hadn’t even taken the time to change clothes. Which meant something must have happened. Something terrible. Krillin felt a shiver run up his spine, even as he tried and failed to meet his friend’s eyes.

“Goku,” he said, “what happened, bud?”

Goku flinched back, looking off to the side. “I -” 

Marron jumped out from behind Krillin, no longer sensing a reason to be scared of the Saiyan at their door. “Is Goten coming over to play?”

“Ah, no, Goten won’t - well - maybe he will,” Goku grimaced and took another step back, close to hitting the wall on the other side of the apartment hallway. “I don’t know. He’s with Gohan right now.”

Krillin frowned. This was looking more and more like he should have called earlier. He should have checked in after the fight. But his heart had been racing and  _ Vegeta _ had shown up so he had considered it all handled. He knew Goten had been staying with Gohan ever since the destruction of the city and the incident Krillin had heard about in the skies above, but this answer from Goku seemed like it meant more than that. Like Goten now stayed at Gohan’s for more than the original reason. 

He didn’t like this. Goku was so on edge, so nervous, trembling and shaking like he was going to bolt at any second. He hadn’t answered the other question either. The one Krillin had asked. Something awful  _ had _ happened, and Goku clearly couldn’t find the words to talk about it. 

For some reason, it reminded him of the day when Buu attacked. When they’d all found a temporary safe haven on the Lookout. When Goku had given the worst news about Vegeta’s and Gohan’s deaths to Bulma and Chi-Chi. How Goku had stood stiff as a board to keep from shaking, facing them down, struggling to find the words. 

_ “What I have to tell you isn’t for me to say right now -” _

Krillin shook the memory to the side and stared at his friend across the hall. So similar and yet so different. The trembling was more obvious than it was then, though his eyes were pretty much the same. Except, no, even his eyes - when Krillin could get a decent look at them - were shaking and hiding away instead of facing his friend head on. 

_ Goku, what happened? What happened to you? What happened to Chi-Chi? To Gohan and Goten? What happened the other day? Why are you so - _

The questions burned on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t find the voice to ask again. Goku refused to meet his eyes. In fact, his Saiyan buddy stared down the hallway, toward the stairway, like he really was thinking of bolting. Funny. Usually when he got too nervous, he brought hands to his forehead and - oh he was doing that now. Oh, no, he put them down again. Clenched his fist at his side and released a tightly held breath.

His friend was  _ not _ okay.

Licking his lips, Krilin took a step and reached out to offer a hand for his closest buddy, but Eighteen interrupted him. His wife came around from behind and took a hold of Marron’s hand. Blue eyes caught his own and Eighteen nodded toward Goku, then toward Marron. Krillin scrunched his eyebrows. He couldn’t figure out what she was trying to say with such a small gesture. 

She rolled her eyes. “Marron and I will go for some ice cream. How does that sound?”

“Huh?” Krillin voiced the question with a tilt in his head, scratching at the edges of his hairline. “Why?”

“How does that sound, Marron?” Eighteen continued, ignoring Krillin’s question, leading her daughter outside, hardly paying attention to Goku as the Saiyan danced off to the side to keep his distance. “We’ll go out while your father has an important talk with Goku, okay?”

“Yeah!” Marron exclaimed, dancing down the hallway with her mother. “Ice cream!”

Eighteen turned to Krillin with a slight lift in her lips. “The place is yours.”

Oh.  _ Oh. _ Get the child away from Goku. That made sense. Especially since the further away Marron got with Eighteen, the more Goku seemed to relax. Though his friend still seemed far too tense to be normal, and he didn’t appear to be comfortable around Krillin alone, either.

Still.  _ Still _ . This was better than having him around his daughter. If he lost control and hurt the child of his family friend, Krillin was sure Goku would be devastated beyond repair. Well, worse off than he already was at least. Damn. They really did need to have a talk.

“Goku, I’m not sure what the deal is,” Krillin said with a smile, once again gesturing for his friend to walk inside. “But will you at least come in now?”

His friend snapped attention away from Marron and Eighteen and gave a small nod. “Yeah...yeah, okay, but not for long.”

Tension filled the air as Krillin stood aside to allow Goku into the apartment. Then he shut the door behind them and couldn’t help but notice the way Goku flinched at the sound of the door slamming. The other man stared at the door, as if wishing he hadn’t agreed to come inside. Well, then, he had to work fast to distract him and get him settled so he wouldn’t run. 

Without a word, Krillin stepped across that tension in the air and walked into the small kitchen of his apartment. Glancing behind him, he nodded to himself after seeing Goku follow, even slow and quiet. Goku didn’t seem to be paying attention to where he was going, like he was trapped in his thoughts, a single finger scratching absently at his cheek. 

Considering the current state of his friend, Krillin went directly for the pack of water bottles. Eighteen didn’t like the water from the tap so they often had a stockpile of water bottles with some in the fridge to cool them down. Not wanting to steal his wife’s cold water, Krillin grabbed one bottle from the pack on the floor and tossed it toward Goku.

“Here,” he said as he watched his friend struggle to catch the thing. “You look like you need it.”

“Ah - uh - yeah,” Goku said, juggling the bottle from hand to hand until he finally managed to get a good grip on it. “Thanks.”

Krillin frowned and then groaned as he ripped the band-aid off. “All right, buddy. Tell me what happened. You’re not like yourself at all.”

“I-I’m not so sure I can,” Goku whispered, setting the water bottle on the counter. “Something I can’t even imagine.”

Since Goku didn’t explain further, Krillin sighed and pointed at the water bottle. “You’re not leaving until you drink that.”

“Mmm.”

“Okay, so, what’s the favor? Let’s start there.”

“I need you to watch over my boys,” Goku mumbled, eyes growing distant as he turned his gaze to the floor. “They have each other, but Gohan’s going through a lot and has his own daughter to watch and -”

“And?” Krillin pressed when Goku cut off. “I don’t mind watching them, but why?”

“Goten really needs someone right now.”

“Huh? Are you really having trouble with all this -” Krillin stopped his words and froze. “Goku. What about Chi-Chi?”

Silence answered him. Silence besides the clock ticking and the sound of the fish tank pumping water from the other room. If Goku had come to  _ him _ to watch over the boys, then that meant something had happened to Chi-Chi. Oh,  _ shit _ . 

Feeling his breath catch in his throat, Krillin dropped his arms to his side and gaped over at his friend. Goku flinched when they met gazes and then sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and clenching his fingers into his pants. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to voice it, didn’t want to ask. He could  _ feel _ it, even if facing such a truth was too hard. 

Goku loved Chi-Chi too much to do something  _ that _ drastic. Even if it was some darker personality or - no, it couldn’t be that. Vegeta had to be wrong. Saiyans wouldn’t kill their wives, would they? Vegeta had been super protective of Bulma after Beerus smacked her down.  _ Vegeta _ . Which meant Goku, who wasn’t like other Saiyans at  _ all _ , had to care beyond that much. It couldn’t be some weird facet of a hidden personality. It had to be something else. Someone taking control and - and -

Oh, what could he say to make this hurt worse?

His gaze trailed from where Goku sat on the floor to the counter above him, to the water bottle sitting there unopened. He knew what he could do. He could be a comforting, understanding friend, a friend who also knew how to push someone to take care of themselves when they clearly didn’t want to do that much. With a determined set to his steps, Krillin walked over to stand in front of Goku, snatched the water bottle, and then bent down to shove the bottle in Goku’s face.

“Drink this,” he commanded. “Now.”

Black spikes lifted into the air as Goku turned his eyes up, but Krillin felt his heart sink in his stomach when his friend pushed the water bottle out of his face. “I don’t want it.”

“I don’t care what you want!” Krillin snapped. “If Chi-Chi’s not here to force you to take care of yourself, then I’ll do it.”

_ Oh, shit, I shouldn’t have said it like that. Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

Goku flinched and lowered his head once more. “Krillin, I killed her. I don’t think she cares too much about what happens to me right now.”

Hearing it said out loud so point blank like that made Krillin’s hand shake, the water sloshing inside the bottle. “You - you did -”

“I - She’s -” A hand came up and tugged at Goku’s hair as the man clearly bit back an actual sob. “I killed her and I held her as she died. I felt her heartbeat stop and her  _ ki _ disappear. Gohan and Goten came over and figured it out. They knew. They -”

“Goku…”

Witnessing Goku hold back tears was one thing. He’d seen Goku lose his cool in a fight when someone hurt one of his friends, but that was when he could drown in anger. When he could focus on the fight and get revenge before facing the truth. This… The Saiyan had the palms of his hands on his eyes as if trying to force the water works from escaping. Without much success.

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Krillin stepped forward to put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. He didn’t know if he could  _ say _ anything to make the pain go away or ease up, but he could at least stand here and be supportive. Silent support could work wonders, after all. Sometimes words just didn’t cut it. He squeezed his hand into Goku’s shoulder and didn’t comment on the way his friend shook under his fingers, the way the sobs broke through while the man continued to talk through the incident that had caused him such terrible heartache.

“She told me to hold her. That’s the last thing she said to me. Both of the boys hate me and I - I hate myself, too,” Goku cried, making Krillin flinch at every sentence. “I don’t even remember doing it. Not at all. She was dying and I couldn’t remember, but I knew. I knew it was me but - how could I do that? How could I let that happen?”

A squeak escaped from Krillin’s mouth at the questions, and he pulled away a little before sitting down on the floor in front of Goku, setting the water bottle down on the kitchen floor between them. “Goku, look at me, buddy. It wasn’t you, okay? You wouldn’t kill her. You wouldn’t  _ ever _ kill her. For any reason. It’s that other guy in your head, that other personality or whatever it is making you do stuff. It may have been your hand and your power, but it wasn’t  _ you _ .”

“Krillin, I just - what if it happens again? What if I -” Goku dropped his hands from his tear-stained face, only to look up at Krillin with wide eyes, pulling away and pressing against the cabinets behind him. “You shouldn’t be near me. I shouldn’t have come inside. I need to go.”

“No. You’re not going anywhere until you get something to eat. Or at least,” Krillin said as he narrowed his eyes and shoved the water at Goku’s chest, “until you drink this. Drink it now. I’m not gonna let you kill yourself over this.”

“Maybe I should!” Goku snapped, eyes shaking even as he clenched his hands into fists and dug his fingers into his spiked hair. “Maybe it would be best for everyone if I did just kill myself. Heh. The other me wouldn’t like that too much, would it? Heh. Yeah...maybe…”

His hand moved on its own. His own heart had skipped a beat at the words coming from his friend’s mouth. His overly optimistic, always smiling, always ready for a laugh, friend. Goku would laugh in the face of enemies several times his strength. He would stand up to anything. He wouldn’t let anything get him down.

This wasn’t like him at all. And it scared Krillin to hear it. Scared him to see it happening - to see Goku unraveling right in front of him like this. So he reached up and smacked Goku on the head as hard as he could, earning little more than a surprised yelp in return.

“Don’t you say that!” Krillin shouted. “Damn it, Goku. It’s not like you to give up! I’m sure we’ll all wish Chi-Chi back as soon as we can. In the meantime, there’s gotta be a better way to handle this. Don’t just give up on it.”

“ _ What _ then, Krillin? What should I  _ do? _ I can’t trust myself not to hurt anyone. Your city, Chi-Chi, I - I can’t - I can’t even be sure that Gohan and Goten won’t try and kill me again. I can’t be sure they’ll survive if they come at me. I’m just -” Goku broke down again, hands dropping into his lap, his voice dropping in volume. “I’ve made myself too strong.”

_ I never thought I’d hear those words from Goku of all people. _

Swallowing something stuck in his throat, Krillin did what he always did in times of stress - he rambled. “I - I don’t know. I just know there has to be  _ something _ . You’ve always been the one telling me to be more optimistic when we have to face something different. I know this isn’t exactly a fight or anything you’re used to, anything  _ we’re _ used to dealing with, but - but - I just - I can’t stand seeing you like this, buddy. There has to be a better way.”

Goku shook his head and muttered. “I wonder about that.”

With a long sigh, Krillin got back to his feet and rolled his shoulder. “You can go and do whatever you want, I guess. It’s not like I can stop you. Don’t leave without drinking that water, though.”

“Krillin, I need your word that you’ll look after the boys for me,” Goku murmured after a few beats of silence. “Make sure they stay away from me and make sure they take care of each other.”

“Of course you have my word, Goku. I’ll watch over them for you, no problem. And when -” Krillin felt the words stop on his tongue and he had to wet his lips to break the dryness as he continued. “- when Chi-Chi gets wished back, I’ll watch over her, too. Whether you’re around or not.”

Goku nodded. “Even if I am still around, don’t let her know where I’m at. I don’t want her chasing after me. I don’t think I could stand to have it happen again.”

“Yeah, okay,” Krillin said, clearing his throat. “So what are you gonna do now/”

Goku shrugged. “Don’t know. Guess I’ll wait around here ‘til you let me leave.”

“You mean until you drink that water,” Krillin huffed. “Be happy I’m not forcing food on you, too.”

A laugh broke free from his friend’s lips, but Krillin grimaced anyway because it sounded so weak and so forced. “Aw, come on, you really think you need to force food on me?”

“Hey, man, if you’re refusing to drink something as light as water, then it makes me a little worried about you, buddy.”

“Yeah, I guess I - I’m not really sure when I ate last, honestly.”

Silence echoed through the kitchen, an awkward tension broken by the sound of the water bottle top finally snapping off. Krillin felt his shoulders relax, realizing only then how rigid he’d been during this whole conversation. He reached up to massage the knotted muscles and groaned. Damn, if all it took to release some of that tension was for Goku to drink some water…

_ Killing Chi-Chi. And now he’s tearing himself up inside and he doesn’t have anyone else. I have to do something for him, since no one else will...He’s my best friend. _

He snapped his fingers in the air, waving off the raised eyebrow from Goku. He went for the pantry and pulled out a pack of wheat bread, grabbing a paper plate to throw down enough bread for four sandwiches. He’d replenish their supply later. Eightween would understand. For now, he’d grab some peanut butter and jelly and make something nice and simple. It wasn’t as creative or healthy as something Chi-Chi could cook up, but maybe that would be better in this situation.

“Goku, buddy,” he said as he worked, “what are you planning to do when you leave here?”

“Mm, well I would try and - uhm - anyways -” Goku answered cryptically before drinking more water like he had been dehydrated all this time. “I can’t do that. It might trigger something.”

“Try what?” Krillin asked, eyebrows raised as he finished the sandwiches and moved to hand over the plate to his best friend. “Here. If you’re that thirsty, you’re hungry, too.”

For a couple of heartbeats, Goku didn’t move. Krillin held his breath. But then a shaky hand reached out and snatched the plate, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches disappearing into the Saiyan’s mouth in no time at all. Feeling the relief settle all the way down to his stomach, Krillin took a breath and stood up with a smile.

_ “You Saiyans are like bottomless pits, I swear.” _

“There you go,” he said aloud, pushing away the memories of watching Goku and the other Saiyans stuff themselves silly before a tournament match. “It’s not much for you, I know, but at least it’s something.”

Goku grunted. “Heh. My stomach appreciates it, Krillin.”

“I’ll bet.”

He searched around for something else to make his friend and his eyes landed on the fruit bowl. Ah, yes, Goku loved fruit, right? He knew his Saiyan friend preferred to eat the noodles and rice and otherwise traditional dishes that his wife could make, but fresh fruit was always something he would go for since he grew up in the wilderness. Or at least so he assumed.

So he snatched a handful of apples and then crouched down to offer them to his friend. After finishing the sandwiches and setting the empty plate on the floor, Goku reached out for more food, only to freeze a hair’s breadth away from the red fruit. At least Goku went back to drinking the water, but Krillin had to frown all the same.

“Hey, c’mon,” he said, “that’s not all you’re gonna eat, is it?”

Goku shook his head, glancing off to the side. “Not apples, Krillin. Anything else, sure, but not apples.”

“Huh?”

“It’s -” Goku grimaced. “I can’t explain.”

_ Oh, it has to do with Chi-Chi, doesn’t it? Agh how could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m trying so hard not to trigger him and there I go and do it anyway. _

Krillin got to his feet in a flash and put the apples back in the fruit bowl. Too bad he didn’t have any other fruit to offer right now. He had a feeling that would be good for the Saiyan appetite. Oh, wait! Eighteen had made something banana pudding with the last of their bananas. Maybe if there was still some left…

He opened the fridge and looked around, wishing he had more leftovers in here. But they’d recently cleaned it out. They’d have to go shopping again for more food - or make something with the little they had left in the house. Goku really couldn’t have come at a worse time, not that Krillin’s house would have ever held enough food to satisfy that man’s appetite. Ah! 

With a grin, he grabbed the bowl half-full of banana pudding and whistled lightly as he walked back to hand it over to Goku. “Here. This better?”

His friend met him with a weak smile and took the offered pudding, digging in almost instantly. “Yeah, thanks.”

Nodding, Krillin crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. “Man, I wish I had more food to share. We don’t really have the Saiyan stomachs over here, you know.”

“Hm. Don’t worry about it. I’ll try to find something on my own later,” Goku said, finishing up the pudding and setting the empty bowl on the plate from earlier. “Was it really that obvious?”

“Was what really obvious?”

“That I hadn’t eaten.”

“Well, considering you looked pretty dehydrated, I figured you probably hadn’t eaten much either,” Krillin frowned, then rubbed the back of his neck. “Please don’t try to starve yourself, Goku. That’s - that’s not like you.”

Goku sighed. “Sorry for scaring you. After what happened, I guess I kind of lost myself.”

“Mmm, yeah I can understand - Hey - I want you to promise me that you’ll take care of yourself, Goku. I know it’s rough and you don’t want to be around anyone, but…”

“I’m not so sure I can promise  _ myself _ ,” Goku said, shaking his head. “Not with  _ it _ running around.”

Krillin winced. “Right, but, can you at least try? For me?”

“I don’t know. If I end up hurting anyone else, then…” His friend drifted off, then looked up with wide eyes. “What if I kill Goten next?”

Krillin’s response was automatic. “You wouldn’t do that.”

Narrowed eyes met him and Krillin felt his stomach twist, especially when Goku looked down and sighed. “I already tried.”

“No...no you didn’t. That’s not you when that stuff happens. Stop saying it like you’re the one doing it because you’re not, okay?”

“ _ Krillin _ , does it really  _ matter? _ What if  _ it _ decides to kill Goten? Or Gohan? Or you? Or - or Marron?”

At that, Krillin felt his heart skip a beat. He brought a hand to his chest as he visualized the image. Of his friend shooting off purple  _ ki  _ blasts like an evil maniac. Of Marron getting caught in the crossfire. Of his little girl dying in his arms because of his best friend.

The silence must have been all the response Goku needed to know how he felt. Krillin felt awful, but he couldn’t hold back his automatic reaction. The image was too easy to conjure after what he’d seen when hunting dragon balls with Goku and Vegeta. He still wanted to support his friend, but…

But…

But what if something  _ did _ happen to Marron? Something more drastic than the trauma of living through a city’s destruction? Would he still be willing to stand by Goku despite it all? He chewed his bottom lip and groaned. Shit, this wasn’t right. None of this was right.

Goku climbed to his feet and dusted himself off. “I’m going home. Thanks for watching over Gohan and Goten for me.”

“Ah - Goku -”

Krillin snapped out of it in time to catch his friend at the front door of his apartment, holding a hand out as if he could physically apologize for his adverse reaction. “Krillin, don’t look for me.”

“R-right. Okay, but look. You know, whatever Gohan and Goten think of you now, they’ll come around. And I’m sure Chi-Chi forgives whatever happened, so don’t - don’t let it tear you up too much, okay?” Krillin held his breath, wanting to tell his friend not to kill himself, feeling the fear racing through him that such a thing could even be on the table now, but he couldn’t find the words. “Just...just don’t.”

Goku paused with his hand on the doorknob and looked back at him with a smile - the weakest smile he’d ever seen on his best friend’s face but at least it seemed genuine and not forced this time. His voice was soft when he spoke. “Yeah. I know. I think I’ll be fine for now. Thanks.”

Finding words still stuck in his throat, Krillin coughed and rubbed his chest, watching as Goku opened the door and disappeared. He wished he could do more for him. He wished he could  _ think _ of something he could do. Some way to solve the problem that the Eternal Dragon had called natural. This? Natural? Bullshit. This wasn’t natural at all. 

Well, he’d have a lot to share with Eighteen when she got back, that was for sure. Then he’d search out Goku’s sons and have a good long talk with them both. He couldn’t imagine what they were going through, if Goku had come to him looking like  _ that _ .

“Oh man," Krillin groaned, clinging to a clump of his hair, "this is too messed up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I had a friend like Krillin. He does his best.


	16. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Gohan and Goten show up at Capsule Corporation, ready to get a spaceship and the dragon radar and begin their journey across the stars with one single mission in mind.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sorry this took a while; I wish it could be longer to make up for the time; my writing kinda stalled; 
> 
> -For the record: there will be 20 chapters in Part I, then an interlude, then on to Part II, so we're getting close; Part I is definitely the most, uh, chaotic, but we're almost through it!

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 16 - Plans

“Gohan, are you sure this isn’t too reckless?”

Bulma asked the question and got a grunt and a shrug in response. She pursed her lips over the edge of her coffee mug. The older Son boy wouldn’t face her as he sat at the table and ran his fingers along the etched designs in the wood. She held back the sigh and kept her gaze as steady as possible, even as she sipped at her steaming hot coffee. 

Vegeta had explained things to her a few days ago. Goku had snapped and killed Chi-Chi. Even  _ thinking _ the sentence was enough to make her shudder. Her closest childhood friend had lost his mind and it was so hard to sit here doing nothing. But she had to sit here. Gohan was here. Asking for the dragon radar and the code to a spaceship.

All of this made her head hurt. 

“It might be reckless,” Gohan said, after a considerable silence, “but I don’t care.”

“Obviously not or you wouldn’t be here,” Bulma countered. “What I want to know is why you’re okay with bringing Goten along.”

“Because he needs something to do as much as I do, and I worry about what’ll happen if he stays here.”

“Why?”

Gohan turned his head at the question. His fingers tapped across the wooden table. His leg bounced under the table, his knee knocking against the bottom. Bulma frowned as she watched the oldest Son boy. 

She had been on adventures with not only his father, but Gohan as well. Flashbacks to Namek made her shudder, but the trip there had been entertaining and wholesome in its own way. The little kid had grown up, but it was still difficult for her to see him as a full fledged adult. After all, he would always be younger than her and his smiles would always remind her of that hopeful little boy doing everything he could to keep her spirits up when they realized they were trapped on Namek. 

So why was  _ Gohan _ the one falling apart now? 

Well, obviously his mother’s death had to be affecting him hard. Not only that she was dead but that his own father had killed her. Of course he wouldn’t be okay after having witnessed the aftermaths of such a thing. But why be so guarded and on edge when talking about his little brother? Surely Goten hadn’t done anything too drastic.

“Goten transformed.”

Bulma felt her heart skip a beat.

“After seeing what happened, Goten, well, I don’t blame him, but he transformed to the next level. He can go Super Saiyan 2 now but he can’t control it very well yet, and I…” Gohan sighed. “I worry he’d do something he’d regret later if I left him alone. We  _ need _ to go into space, Bulma. We need to bring Mom back whatever it takes.”

Oh she was going to kill Vegeta for not telling her all the details. She knew as much as anyone when it came to the Saiyan transformations - which meant, not a lot, actually, because her broody little husband didn’t like to share details too often and because Trunks had reached the first state on his own without much fuss. But going by Gohan’s reactions, she knew  _ this _ was a big deal.

So she held her mug in sweaty palms and let Gohan talk his way through the experience.

“I never expected Dad to be the reason for Goten transforming,” Gohan said. “He was so angry… and so was I, honestly. If Vegeta hadn’t shown up to distract Dad and stop us, then I don’t know what would have happened. Luckily, I can still transform to the second form myself, but I need to give Goten a task to focus on -  _ I  _ need a task to focus on - until we can figure out how to fix whatever is wrong with Dad.”

“Yeah,” Bulma mumbled. “Vegeta talked to me last night about maybe constructing a prison for him, but I don’t really like the sound of that.”

Gohan flinched. “I don’t either, but it may be all we can do at this point. He has to be stopped somehow.”

“Mmm. I don’t know, Gohan.” 

“Whatever. We have to think of  _ something _ . We can’t wish Mom back and then have this happen  _ again. _ ”

Bulma set her mug down and narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think  _ Goku _ wants to have this happen again, either. I’m surprised he hasn’t disappeared from the planet himself yet.”

“I don’t wanna talk about him right now.”

With a sigh, she ran a hand across her bangs and then nodded her head. If the two Son boys were going to go out and search for New Namek to wish their mother back to life, then she would think of a way to contain Goku. Last resort, she’d call Whis and Beerus, but maybe she could come up with a prison of sorts on her own. As much as she hated to do it, Gohan was right about them needing a solution, and maybe Goku would trust her to find a way to hold back that darker side. 

She hadn’t even really seen the darker side herself. Well, that wasn’t true. She just hadn’t seen the aggressive, dangerous side. She’d heard his comments that had seemed out of character. Asking who the father of her baby was hadn’t been from the Goku she knew, after all. Like Chi-Chi, though, she wasn’t scared of facing down her old childhood friend if she had to, so maybe something like the gravity chamber would work. 

Then again, there was that pesky Instant Transmission of his. She’d have to find a way to nullify his ability to sense  _ ki _ signatures. And  _ that _ wasn’t exactly easy.

“Bulma?” Gohan’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she blinked. “Are you going to give me the dragon radar and a spaceship or not?”

“Oh of course I will,” Bulma said, getting to her feet. “Didn’t I say that already?”

Gohan shook his head. “Uh, no, you didn’t.”

“Well then, stop sitting there looking so upset and follow me.”

“Oh!” Gohan exclaimed, jumping to his feet and following her around the kitchen corner. “Great. Thanks, Bulma.”

“Just be careful, Gohan. You know how crazy it can be out there.”

“Right, I will.”

While she led Gohan toward one of her labs, the doorbell rang and Bulma had to pause and roll her eyes. She glanced down at her technological wristwatch to check the cameras outside. Only when she realized who had come to visit did she change gears and walk toward the front door instead.

~!~

Meanwhile, Goten ran around the halls of Capsule Corporation, looking for the elusive capsule that would hold a super special spaceship. While Gohan distracted Bulma, he would take the spaceship capsule and fly away, and then Gohan could catch up to him. That was the perfect plan. He hoped Gohan had been listening when he’d told it to him. He had a little worry that his brother might not have been paying close attention on their way over here. 

Gohan had been trapped in his thoughts and distant ever since…

Well, Goten trusted in his big brother. Whatever happened, they  _ were _ going to go into space. They were going to find New Namek and gather the dragon balls and wish Mom back no matter what anyone else said. Dende and Piccolo approved, and Videl was okay with it, too. And, and, and, nothing was going to stop them. Nothing! 

As these thoughts ran through his mind, Goten opened a random door in the linoleum hall and came face to face with his best friend. Trunks, wearing a yellow sleeveless shirt and blue shorts, yawned long and loud even as Goten jumped back. His purple haired friend had a bad case of bedhead and his eyes only glanced over him before stepping out and failing to shut the door behind him. Trunks scratched the back of his head and then snapped wide eyes toward Goten.

“Wha - Goten, when did you get here?”

For his part, Goten put a hand to his chest to calm his racing heart and then nudged his friend in the shoulder. “You’re weird, Trunks! This isn’t your room.”

“Huh?” Trunks blinked, glanced over his shoulder, and then turned back to Goten with a sleepy frown. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I was up late working on this robotics homework project.”

Goten stuck his tongue out. “Ew. Homework. I’m glad I don’t have extra classes like you do, Trunks.”

“Yeah, my mom kind of insists.”

Silence stalked between them for a moment. Goten shuffled awkwardly on his feet, bouncing on his blue training boots, listening to the click they made against the hard metal floor. He didn’t have time to wait on Trunks to wake up, but now he was a little distracted. Playing with the  _ gi  _ belt around his waist, he looked over Trunks’ shoulder into the room behind him. Since his friend had halfway closed the door, he didn’t have the best view, but he could see all kinds of interesting mechanical parts and science-y things so maybe he had chosen the right room after all.

Before he could get a better look, Trunks reached behind him and closed the door completely. Goten frowned. He wanted to see what was back there! What if there was a spaceship hiding in that room? Maybe he should ask Trunks…

Oh! Maybe he should get Trunks to come with them. He always had more fun with his friend along for the adventure. He should have thought of that earlier. If Trunks knew he had gone into space with Gohan and left him behind, he would be pretty mad. 

“So, Goten,” Trunks said, interrupting Goten’s thoughts. “What are you doing here in your  _ gi _ ? I didn’t think we were gonna be training or playing today.”

Goten shook his head. “I’m looking for a spaceship so me and Gohan can go to New Namek and find their dragon balls!”

Trunks brought his hand down to his side. “What?”

“My mom needs to be wished back to life! Come on, Trunks, you know where your mom keeps everything, right? She’s gotta have a spaceship somewhere!”

“Yeah, back there,” Trunks said, jerking his thumb toward the room behind him. “But wait a minute. What happened to your mom?”

Goten’s hands immediately clenched up at his sides. Anger flooded him at the memory. He could still see it all as if it had happened two seconds ago. Rushing out with Gohan because they’d felt a weird spike of energy. Finding their dad sitting in a crater outside their house. And then…

And then…

Energy flashed around him and lightning crackled into being as Goten jumped into his transformation. First one, then the next. Way too fast to control. He clenched his jaw against the scream and the tears that wanted to fall. Instead, he shook his head and met Trunks’ eyes.

“He killed her. That guy that looks like my dad...he killed my mom.”

Trunks’ eyes were wide and he stood with his back against the door. “Whoa. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Did you just - did you beat me to the next level, Goten?”

“Y-yeah, but…” He grimaced and shut his eyes, trying to find that center of calm Gohan had talked about. “It’s hard to control.”

“H-hey, you can do it, Goten. Just drop it like we do with the other one.”

“It’s not that simple, Trunks!”

“Sheesh,” Trunks mumbled. “Sorry.”

“Just shut up!” Goten shouted. “I can’t think when you’re talking to me.”

With his eyes closed, he didn’t see Trunks nod or clap his hands over his mouth, but he almost felt his friend make those moves. Everything was so much easier to feel and sense in this form. Like how he could tell Gohan was already heading down this way, no doubt because he’d felt Goten transform.

Feeling his plans of secrecy going up in smoke because he’d been triggered, Goten clenched his hands into tighter fists. He had to focus. Breathe like Gohan had told him. Think of happy things. Like Gohan. Like training with Gohan before that one world tournament. Training with Gohan and learning how to fly, and then having to wait on Videl to learn because she was being all weird with his brother. 

A smile broke his lips at the memory and he took a couple more deep breaths. Focus. Breathe. Let the power flow through you. Let it wash away. Let it disappear into nothing. Let it go.

When Gohan showed up in the hallway, Goten had managed to drop his transformation and he faced his big brother with a smile as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Sorry, Gohan. I’m okay.”

“I see that,” Gohan said, arms crossed and grinning. “Good job, Goten. That’s impressive.”

“Whoa! Was that Goten?”

At the sound of the other voice, Goten jerked his head up and pouted. Oh great. Krillin was here, too. Gohan, Bulma, and Krillin. Why? He didn’t think anyone else was in the house when he’d left Gohan with Bulma to go on his search. 

The family friend had his hands in the pockets of a pair of black exercise shorts, and he wore a green sleeveless shirt. Not a  _ gi _ , though. And not a tracksuit what Gohan had. Just something super casual. What did he think he was doing here? He must have wanted to talk to Bulma about something because there was no way.

“Hey, Goten, Trunks,” Krillin greeted with a wide smile. “I was just telling Gohan how your dad asked me to watch over you guys.”

Goten felt his eyes widen. “What? Why? I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Ah, it’s not that - he just -” Krillin dropped his smile and crossed his arms. “Well, he told me what happened and then -”

“I don’t care!” Goten yelled. “It’s not like that guy cares about us, so why are you even bothering to do what he asked? It shouldn’t matter.”

Krillin’s eyes caught his and flinched back. “Goten…”

Gritting his teeth, Goten turned away and set his hands on his waist. “Come on, Trunks. Let’s find the spaceship and leave before anyone  _ else _ shows up.”

Bulma cleared her throat. “Oh, so now Trunks is going, too?”

“Yeah!” Goten exclaimed. “Why not? We’re an unstoppable team!”

Grabbing his friend my the arm, he dragged Trunks into the nearby room and slammed the door behind him. He could hear Gohan talking to Krillin now. Something about explaining things. Whatever. He hoped Gohan wouldn’t let Krillin come, and he better convince Bulma to let Trunks come too!

This was supposed to be a super secret special mission, and now it was all kinds of ruined. So he sat down and crossed his legs and arms, pouting as he leaned against the door. Trunks, meanwhile, ran fingers through his hair and cleared his throat. His friend didn’t seem all that into the idea of going off into space, but Goten didn’t care. He wanted his best friend. He needed someone else besides just Gohan. He wanted both Gohan  _ and _ Trunks.

He  _ didn’t _ want Krillin.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” he mumbled. “Right, Trunks?”

“Huh? Uh.” Trunks yawned, then walked over to one of the counters. “Nah, of course we don’t need Krillin watching over us or anything, and Gohan is an adult so I don’t know why he’d be sent to watch over Gohan, too. That just sounds stupid.”

“Right. Stupid.”

“I don’t think we can sneak the spaceship anymore, though,’ Trunks said, with an apologetic shrug as he turned back to Goten. “We still need to grab the dragon radar, too.”

“Oh,” Goten deflated. “Right. I forgot.”

“So I think we’ll have to deal with having Krillin along.”

Goten groaned. “But we don’t need him! That’s not fair!” 

Trunks simply shrugged in response. He seemed to be keeping a distance from Goten, like worried he would explode or something. Which was dumb. Goten wouldn’t explode on his best friend of all time. He was just annoyed. And angry. And upset. And -

And he wanted his mom back.

~!~

Vegeta didn’t realize Bulma was missing until later in the evening when he went to the kitchen for dinner and nothing but a robot was waiting on him. Since routines were such an important part of their relationship, he had to frown and pause for a moment. She hadn’t gone with the others in that ridiculous space mission to search for New Namek. No, it had been two days since they’d all left and she’d explained it all to him, berating him at the same time for not informing her of Goten’s rageful transformation.

Where could she be then? Damn woman, always disappearing without a word because she’d had some inane idea -

His heart skipped a beat as he realized exactly where Bulma had run off to. A quick moment to concentrate and find her pathetic human  _ ki  _ in the direction he suspected had him nodding his head and then growling. Dumb woman. He’d told her how many times  _ not _ to visit Kakarot? And still she did it anyway! 

With a scowl on his face, Vegeta rushed out of the kitchen, stomach growling in a weird mimic of his annoyance. Gathering his energy about him, he sprang into the air and rushed toward Kakarot’s home. This would be the second time he’d had to go flying off in this direction. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to witness a similar incident.

Stupid fucking  _ woman _ . He was going to kill her himself if Kakarot hadn’t done the job. And if Kakarot touched a hand on his Bulma, he would kill the motherfucker and forget all that talk of understanding the personality issues. Hurting Bulma would be his own personal line. 

~!~

Goku stared vacantly at the empty grave in front of him. It was so haphazardly created with inward promises to make it better once he could think straight again, but it seemed time refused to grant him even this much. Bulma had arrived and told him about preserving Chi-Chi’s body until the boys had time to wish her back. He’d nodded numbly and gone along with every direction she handed him.

He needed direction more than anything right now.

Because for once in his life, Goku really didn’t know what to do. His life was falling apart in front of him and he couldn’t seem to grab hold long enough to  _ understand why _ . While Krillin’s comments had penetrated through his darkest depression, he still felt like every hour, every minute, every second, passed in a haze. 

How could  _ any _ part of his mind be okay with hurting Chi-Chi? She should hate him. She probably did. She’d been scared and looking for any sort of comfort when asking to be held, he was sure of it. There was no way she would want to be anywhere close to him when he came back, and even if she did - he wouldn’t allow it. 

He should have pushed away harder. He shouldn’t have let her stay. After seeing what happened when he lost control, when all recollection of those moments disappeared, he hadn’t wanted her to stay. But then, he hadn’t been in control much after that, either, and anytime he tried to push her out or tried to leave - she refused or he found himself right back in her arms. 

Now she was dead. Because of him. And nothing would ever change that.

“Goku?”

He blinked and looked up at his blue haired friend from where he sat against the back wall of his house. “Huh? Did you say something, Bulma?”

Bulma huffed at him and put her hands on her hips. “I asked how you were doing after everything.”

He winced and shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. Honestly, Bulma, you shouldn’t even be here.”

“Oh don’t start that again.”

“Well, I -” he scratched at his cheek and cut himself off. “You got what you came for, right? No other reason for you to be here then. I really don’t want to hurt anyone else.”

Bulma sighed and sat down on her legs in front of him. He stared back at her searching eyes, but then shook his head and glanced away. He hadn’t had any major incidents, not that he could remember at least, not since Chi-Chi’s death. But that didn’t mean anyone else was safe around him. He’d played a risk going to Krillin’s the other day. He didn’t want to tempt fate anymore than that.

Especially since he still had a few moments of memory loss to account for,  _ and _ the fact that no matter where he ran off to, he always seemed to end up back at his house. Goku kept trying to run and hide somewhere that would keep him away from people, but whoever got in charge when he lost his memory would always come back to his house. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t even do anything to protect everyone from himself. 

“Your boys are on their way to New Namek,” Bulma said gently into the awkward silence. “I thought you should know.”

He blinked up at her. “Are they really? Wait, didn’t you mention that already?”

“Maybe,” Bulma huffed. “Hard to know if you’re listening right now, though, much less if you were paying attention earlier.”

“Yeah,” he winced. “Sorry. I can’t focus.”

“I can tell.”

Since he didn’t have a response to that, Goku gave a shrug and a weak smile before he turned his gaze back to his lap and the ground around him. The grass would need to be cut. The garden and other crops would need to be handled. Everything would be ruined if someone didn’t take care of things soon. Chi-Chi would be so mad if he let it all go to waste.

But he couldn’t exactly make himself  _ do _ anything right now. He barely had the energy to wash up and cook for himself. Not even fishing held much enjoyment. Not that he needed something to enjoy. With Chi-Chi gone, nothing mattered. With Chi-Chi gone  _ because of him _ -

“Kakarot!” A loud exclamation brought him back into focus and he blinked up at a raging Vegeta. “Get the hell away from her!”

“Vegeta?” Goku asked, staring up at his rival, who now stood between him and Bulma. “I wasn’t -”

“I don’t care!” Vegeta snapped. “Get the hell out of here!”

Goku narrowed his eyes. “Hey, this is  _ my _ house, you know.”

Vegeta growled and met his glare. For a moment, Goku felt an urge to rise up and attack the angry Saiyan in front of him. No one should be able to get away with telling him what to do, especially not someone like Vegeta. He could beat the Saiyan Prince in a heartbeat if he wanted. For mouthing off all the time, he sure as hell deserved it. 

But then he caught sight of Bulma standing up. Bulma brushed her pants of grass and then stomped around to stand next to her husband. Seeing the way Vegeta turned a glance to her made Goku’s heart skip a beat. His senses rushed back to normal in another breath and he brought a hand to his head.

It hurt just being reminded of Chi-Chi in the little things. Every little thing had him thinking of her - and of the way he had been responsible for her death, whether he remembered it or not. Gulping back the pain, Goku squeezed at the spikes of his messy hair.

“Bulma, just leave with him,” he choked out. “You shouldn’t be here anyway.”

Vegeta grunted, grabbing his wife’s arm. “Do as he says, woman. Let’s go.”

“Wait!” Bulma shouted. “Wait… Goku, I may be able to construct a prison to hold you. Maybe. That Instant Transmission of yours is something that’s hard to work around, but…”

“Heh,” Goku tried to laugh, but it hurt too much. “Of course it is. Don’t worry about me, Bulma. I’ll try to disappear to some place where even  _ he _ won’t be able to find a way back.”

“Goku, you really shouldn’t -”

With a long sigh, Goku looked up to her and met her eyes. “Bulma, just go. Please. I’ve hurt enough people.”

His friend didn’t say anymore. Apparently, looking in his eyes was enough to convince her that she wouldn’t be getting through to him anytime soon. Good. She didn’t need to be here. No one needed to be around him. He wished Chi-Chi hadn’t stayed with him. He hoped she didn’t try to find him when she did get wished back.

He couldn’t take this much longer. Where could he go? Should he try to get in a spaceship and disappear across the universe? Was there anyone he could call? 

For some reason, the idea of calling Whis and Beerus just made him grimace. They never took anything seriously. Beerus might want to fight the other guy or something. No, he’d do this alone.

Somehow. 


	17. Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Goten and Trunks pull a prank on Krillin; afterwards, Krillin spends some time trying to get Gohan to come around to his way of thinking]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- It's short. I don't care. It's here.

**Silhouette**

**Part 1 - Control**

Chapter 17 - Space

Gohan stared down at the control panel of the ship from Capsule Corporation. This ship didn’t look so much like the Saiyan space pods or the Namekian ship he had once traveled in. No, it was different. Sleeker. Faster. More like the kind of rocket from television science-fiction shows. An oblong shape with engines on the sides and the back. Dr. Briefs had been busy. Or maybe it was a creation of Bulma herself. 

Lifting his gaze from the control panels, Gohan blinked at the stars passing by with each second. How far could New Namek be? How far across the universe did they need to go? Bulma had radioed in a couple hours ago to mention something she’d picked up from Goku - though Gohan had a hard time listening once she had brought up his father’s name. Pain still wrecked him on the inside, even though he tried hard to hold it in for Goten’s sake. 

Ah, but the information had been valuable. A general direction from Earth. A point he could aim for. So they wouldn’t have to travel like lost sailors searching for land. Of course space was so big they could easily miss the planet and be none the wiser. 

Hopefully, luck would be on their side as it had once before in the past. Hopefully, they could ask the Namekians to use the dragon balls without any sort of issue. Dende said he’d patch in a good word for them but could make no promises, after all. It was amazing how everyone came together to help them out in this critical moment. 

Now they just needed to find a way to make that monster in his dad pay for what he’d done. Even if it meant writing off his dad. They couldn’t kill Goku; they’d tried and failed already and since his dad was still in there somewhere…

Gohan shook his head. He couldn’t think about it right now. He didn’t  _ want _ to think about it right now. He didn’t want to think about it  _ at all _ . If his anger burst free again… Well, he was already on the verge of saying screw it to helping his dad. 

Maybe Jaco would know if the Galactic Patrol had a prison to throw him into. They had to have a place for all sorts of villains. If not that, then maybe Whis and Beerus could construct something. Or find a way to keep  _ Kakarot _ \- an apt name for that monster, since Saiyans were originally heartless monsters anyway - away from Earth for the rest of eternity.

Clenching his hands into fists, Gohan dropped his arms to his side and leaned back in the pilot’s chair. Space was so empty. Such a vast expanse stretching for miles and miles. So never ending. In a way, he felt the same when he looked inward. He couldn’t think straight. He had pushed everything aside in order to protect his brother, protect himself, think ahead instead of succumbing to the anger but…

Oh, that rage still flowed in him of course. Someone couldn’t kill someone he loved without tearing him up on the inside, and the knowledge that his  _ own father _ was the culprit this time, the villain in sheep’s clothing, he just couldn’t  _ think _ anymore.

The sound of giggling brought his attention away from his thoughts and Gohan glanced over his shoulder to where the boys were sitting on the floor of the ship. While the new design made for a faster, more efficient ride through space, there weren’t really any extra rooms or anything. Of course there was a bathroom area and a storage room and a small kitchen and one little closed off section that they all took turns sleeping in, but for now everyone was out here in the big open brig area. 

Krillin was even taking a nap on the floor. Gohan had the watch at the moment, and the boys weren’t given any serious responsibility, so it was a constant shift between him and Krillin. Instead of going off to the small bed, Krillin had decided to take a nap out here. Probably because Goten and Trunks had been sleeping back there earlier.

Well, now they were awake, and laughing about something. Gohan smiled. Bringing Trunks along had been a good idea. The purple haired boy obviously made everything easier on Goten just by being around. That’s what friends were for, after all. 

Friends…

He turned in his chair and stared at the sleeping Krillin, thinking of how his father had asked his best friend to watch over them. Which was dumb. Goten was right. They didn’t need anyone. They had each other. And Gohan was an adult now. He could handle himself. But Krillin had agreed and come along anyway, even though he protested against flying through space without much of a guide. 

Even after everything that had happened, Krillin still did what Goku asked of him, and Gohan had a hard time reconciling that information in his mind. He couldn’t stand the thought of -

Well. Best not to think of it. With a loud groan, Gohan ran a hand through his hair, pushing back his bangs. So much had happened. So much was warring inside of him right now. The rage and unforgiving aspect on one side. His cool head and insistence on not letting emotions cloud his judgement on the other. He didn’t like losing control to that rage. Especially not now since it reminded him of the way his father had turned against them all. 

Before he could berate himself for letting his thoughts wander that direction  _ again, _ Goten suddenly sparked into the air. With wide eyes, Gohan watched as his little brother laughed and flew away from Trunks, who followed quickly after. They had something in their hands. Markers? 

Oh boy. So  _ that’s _ what they were doing. Krillin would be in for a surprise when he woke up. Gohan let a smile grace his own lips. He kind of wanted to see what the boys had done to the older fighter now. He could only imagine.

Shaking his head, Gohan turned back to the view of stars in front of him on the control panel. Later. There would be time for fun and games and laughter later. Right now he had one job, one focus.

Get to New Namek. Find the dragon balls. Call the dragon. Wish for his mom to be brought back to life. Nothing else mattered.

~!~

A loud bang snapped Krillin out of his sleep and he yelped a little as he shot up to a sitting position. Blinking sleepy eyes, he tried to scope out the reason for the loud noise. His gaze eventually fell on Goten, who was crouched on the floor, rubbing at his head and complaining about how hard it was to fly in this cramped area. 

Krillin frowned, yawned, and stretched. By the looks of it, Goten was fine - just being more like his dad by running into things and then complaining about hitting his head. No matter the fact that Saiyans had ridiculously hard heads and could take crazy amounts of physical punishment. Heh. Probably a part of their traits that made them such incredibly good fighters. Goku always had an insane level of stamina and endurance. HIs sons weren’t much different.

With another yawn, Krillin stood up and crossed his arms. “All right, boys, what have you been doing while I was asleep? I trust you’re not trying to fight or spar in the ship, right?”

Goten rubbed at his head some more, grumbling something under his breath and refusing to look up at Krillin. Trunks, on the other hand, lifted his gaze from staring at his best friend. Krillin tried his best to put on a serious look. He wasn’t exactly the best at discipline when it came to parenting - something he easily left to Eighteen when it came to Marron - but he knew he needed to be serious with these half Saiyan kids or they’d walk all over him.

To his slight frustration, Trunks started to laugh. “Oh. Wow. It’s even better when he’s awake and talking to us.”

Krillin raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Vegeta’s son didn’t answer. Instead, he fell backwards and rolled around on the floor, laughing while holding his sides. Krillin felt his eye twitch. This was not his idea of how discipline and serious parenting (or babysitting) was supposed to go. What on earth?

What made it even more annoying was how Goten finally looked up only to spark out a laugh or two of his own. “Oh wow. Trunks, you’re right. We got him good this time.”

Then, the other Saiyan child joined his friend in rolling around on the floor. Giggles filled the spaceship and Krillin’s frown deepened. He turned to Gohan, ready to ask the other adult what the deal was, but then he caught Gohan holding his hand in front of his mouth.

“Oh come on!” Krillin exclaimed. “What’s going on here?”

Gohan held up his other hand and spoke between spurts of laughter. “Sorry, Krillin. It’s just - well - the boys kind of - while you were sleeping and -”

“ _ What _ are you talking about, Gohan?” Krillin turned on the two kids. “All right. What did you do?”

No one answered him. They just continued to laugh and point and wave their hands in the air. Krillin rolled his eyes. He didn’t usually have a problem being the butt of the joke. After all, it happened quite a lot when one was friends with Goku, but this was ridiculous. 

All he’d been doing was sleeping. What could they have possibly done to cause this amount of laughter? Fuming a little, Krillin spun around, searching for an answer since the boys wouldn’t give him one. Of course he didn’t find anything to explain the reason for his current predicament so he huffed and set his hands on his hips.

“Someone explain,” he said. “Now.”

Gohan chuckled. “Krillin, go wash your face.”

“Huh? Wash my -” He froze. A prank. That’s what it was. A simple stupid childish prank. “Oh for the love of - you kids are full of jokes, aren’t you?”

Goten and Trunks laughed back at him, managing to sit up and grin, shouting their response in time with each other. “Yep!”

Rolling his eyes, Krillin turned around and stomped off to the bathroom. Finding the mirror, he sprang back a little at the face that greeted him. He groaned and smacked the side of his head. Circles of different shapes had been drawn around his eyes and little squiggly marks had been drawn on his forehead, looking like lightning bearing down on his eyes. There was even a little drawing of a pile of poop on one of his cheeks!

_ Boys… _

It was moments like this that made him happy he had a little girl instead of two boys to take care of normally. He was also glad Gohan had never come up with such pranks when they traveled to Namek the first time years ago. Gohan had been a good kid. Easy to work with, easy to talk to, easy to train with, and an incredible asset when the fighting got serious. 

Trunks and Goten were assets in fights of course, but they also tended to have way too much fun making his life miserable. He could understand Goten lashing out right now after everything that had happened to tear his family apart. For that reason alone, Krillin wasn’t going to go out there and give the boys a piece of his mind. He’d let them play all the practical jokes they wanted.

After all, it had been too long since he’d seen Goten laughing like that. It felt nice to see. Now if only he could get the Son boys to trust in their father again. Somehow. 

_ Yeah, right. After what they’ve witnessed, it’ll be a miracle to get them to stop hating Goku. What a mess. _

When he finished washing up, Krillin stepped back into the main area of the spaceship, only to find the two younger boys no longer in the area. He crossed his arms and frowned, taking a moment to find their  _ ki _ . It wasn’t hard to feel them out in this ship, but it did take a while to hone down exactly where they were hiding. Once he located them in the bedroom area, he sighed. 

Guess they were tired after all that fun. How long had he been asleep for anyway? Shaking his head, Krillin dropped his hands to his side and walked toward the pilot chair. Whether Gohan wanted it now or not, this was the perfect time to talk to him. Maybe he could get through to Gohan. Just a little. That’s all he needed to do.

“Hey, Gohan,” he said as he walked up. “How you holding up?”

Gohan turned a weak smile on him before sinking back into the pilot’s chair. “We’re still a ways out, but I have a feeling we’re getting close now.”

“Ah, that’s good, but that’s not what I asked.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Gohan…”

“I don’t know how I’m doing, Krillin,” Gohan mumbled. “After losing mom and seeing Dad act like that, I just - I don’t know.”

Krillin winced. “Yeah, I hear ya.”

With a deep sigh, Krillin sat down on the floor next to the pilot’s chair. He noticed Gohan’s curious look, but didn’t give him a response. Instead, he put his back to the edge of the chair and scratched at his head. 

How to go about this? He wanted to talk Gohan down and, well, give Gohan someone to talk to the way Goku had gotten someone to talk it out with, but how exactly did he approach things? At least he’d already started the conversation. He knew where Gohan stood - which was in a weird middle ground of inaction, really. Not somewhere Gohan usually sat when big things were going down.

So now what?

Shutting his eyes, Krillin disappeared into his memory banks. Maybe something way back in the past could help him. He thought of Gohan and all they’d been through. Then he thought of Goku and felt the ache pulse in his chest at the image of his friend on the verge of giving up on life because of what he’d done. Sure, Goku had grown up over the years, but it still hurt to see someone he remembered as such a happy child with his weird tail -

His eyes opened with a start. That was it! This wasn’t the first time Goku had lost control and had no memory of the events. Oh, damn, how could he have forgotten about the big secret they’d all kept from him for years? 

“Hey, Gohan?”

“Hm?” Gohan sighed. “Krillin, if you talk to me about my dad, I’m not sure I can hold back from yelling at you.”

“That’s fine, that’s fine, but you have to listen to this, okay?” Krillin said, staunchly ignoring Gohan’s groan of complaint. “Did your father ever tell you about the first martial arts tournament we competed in? About what happened there?”

Gohan hummed. “No, I don’t think so, but what -”

“Just listen,” Krillin said. “Please?”

When Gohan didn’t answer right away, Krillin thought he had lost his chance. How could he convince Gohan to see reason when he couldn’t even get the guy to  _ listen _ ? Things had hit the worst point imaginable when it came to what his dad had done, but surely Gohan could put aside his emotions and focus on thinking through the situation?

If anyone could focus on reason, Gohan could. He had to. The little boy had always been strong on his emotions and his rage and fighting for control and all that - but this time Krillin  _ needed _ the scholar on the inside to relax and think. Krillin couldn’t figure out how to help Goku alone. He needed help. He needed Gohan.

After way too long of a wait, Gohan finally released a lengthy sigh and leaned back in his chair. “All right. Fine. I’m listening, Krillin.”

“Great! I knew you would see reason, Gohan!”

“I don’t know about that,” the Saiyan muttered. “I just know you won’t give up.”

Krillin laughed. “Well, you’re not wrong. Okay. So. The first martial arts tournament. Your father made it all the way to the final round against Jackie Chun and that fight lasted so long the sun started to go down and the moon came out.”

“Where are you going with this, Krillin?”

“Just hang on, I’m getting there. So, like you know, we didn’t know your dad was a Saiyan yet and we  _ definitely _ didn’t know the whole secret behind Saiyans and their tails so -”

“You’re talking about the Great Ape form, right?” Gohan turned in his chair and Krillin looked up to grin at him. “I mean, what does that have to do with a past story that goes that far back? It’s not like dad transformed...oh…”

“Yeah, he did,” Krillin said, dropping his grin. “In front of all those people. He lost complete control. He could have killed any one of us, and we were his closest friends at the time. Plus you know how your dad is - he doesn’t like to kill anyone unless he has to.”

“So? He must have stopped somehow. If he could stop himself back then, I don’t see why you’re bringing it up now. Because he clearly just  _ let _ whatever was messing with his head get to him and he couldn’t even stop himself from killing -”

“Gohan, that’s just it, though!” Krillin snapped, getting to his feet and setting a hand on Gohan’s arm. “He  _ didn’t _ stop himself. He was a raving angry giant monkey with  _ no _ control. Even when you transformed against Vegeta, someone was able to get through to you. I don’t know if you remember that, but your dad didn’t have that. If Roshi hadn’t destroyed the moon, it might have been all over right then.”

This time, Gohan didn’t answer. This time, no one said anything else. The silence stalked until eventually Gohan pulled away and turned his head. Krillin kept his distance, allowing him all the time he needed to think it over. 

If something had happened while Goku was a transformed Saiyan ape, would they have turned on him, then, too? Or would they have understood? It was a tough question, but at the same time, not for Krillin. Of course Krillin didn’t want his family in harm’s way, never knowing when Goku could snap this time, and not having a sure-fire way to solve the problem by cutting off his tail or learning to control the ape form. 

But…

But if Krillin had died to Goku back then, he wouldn’t have held a grudge. He wouldn’t have gotten angry. He would have been sad. And after everything, Goku would have been devastated. 

Finally, Gohan turned back to face Krillin, and there were tears in his eyes. “Krillin, I - I don’t know what to do.”

Breathing out slowly, Krillin brought a hand to Gohan’s head, ruffling the hair. Even if the boy had grown up, Krillin would always think of him like some kind of adopted nephew. Seeing Gohan cry the way Goku had, he couldn’t help but reach out and offer whatever limited advice he had up his sleeves. 

“We’ll take this one step at a time, Gohan. Just like we did back then when everything went haywire, okay?”

“R-right…”

One step at a time. Hopefully, a solution would come to them in the meantime. That was all they had at this point: hope and wishes. 


End file.
